Murtzcellanious: Murtz Jaffer Interviews Survivor: Fiji's Lisi Linares

Interviews, Shows

Undoubtedly the funniest interview to date, Lisi shows elements of just how funny she is during my chat with her.

Lisi Linares: Hello Murtz!

Murtz Jaffer How are you?

LL: I am very good.

MJ: Are you ready to get started?

LL: Let’s do it!

MJ: Usually when somebody is voted out, they are shocked or surprised but you kind of seemed relieved. How tough was the experience for you?

LL: Oh my god let me tell you. That whole Exile Island madness, was just crappy. I couldn’t take it anymore. That’s when I was just like, I gotta go man.

MJ: People have given you an especially hard time for some of your comments, especially when you were sent to Exile Island the first time and Jeff Probst called you out for wanting to quit. Did you think that was fair of him to do in front of everybody?

LL: Well, see the thing is that this is a game show. So it was fun for Jeff to play with me and it was fun for me to play with Jeff. Because he knew that I knew that we still had a show to put on. So him saying whatever he had to say was just more fun for me.

MJ: So you weren’t offended at all? Because I was looking at it like when you’re playing a basketball game, the referee doesn’t really get involved.

LL: Yeah, well not in this case. In this case, Jeff is a player too so to speak. And Jeff really enjoys it when you are having fun with him because other than that, he is sitting around with a bunch of people obsessed with getting a million bucks.

MJ: Now did you fire back at him at all (because we only really saw him tear into you)?

LL: Yeah, no. I was totally like ‘great Jeff, I hate you’ and he was totally like ‘go to Exile Island, get your head straight!’

MJ: I have seen some other interviews that you did where you said that you were approached for four alliances on the first day even though you never really watched the show before. Who approached you?

LL: Oh my god! It was so funny! It was Pappa Smurf, it was Dreamz, it was Boo and then Edgardo.

MJ: So it was even Dreamz who approached you? Your arch-nemesis?

LL: I know. Isn’t that funny? I don’t know what it is about me but something about me made people feel like I was going to be loyal and a good player which is actually true. Once I was kind of like taken by this cloak of security by the alliance, there was no way that I was going to betray them and I don’t think that they would have betrayed me either.

MJ: Mookie talked about how you, Alex and Edgardo would always speak in Spanish to each other on Survivor Insider and we didn’t really see any of that. Was this an active strategy or did it just happen?

LL: Well the thing about it is that many times, when we were speaking in Spanish it was just like talking about home. We weren’t even talking about strategy.

MJ: But you didn’t think about using it as strategy?

LL: Sometimes we’d be like sitting by the fire and being like ah mi dios, that guy’s gotta go.

MJ: Some people have said that the reason Alex and Edgardo chose to align with you and Stacy is because if you had made it to the end, they could have easily beaten you both in physical immunity challenges. Do you think that is the reason why they chose you guys instead of Dreamz or was it a bond thing?

LL: No, we really did bond! And that’s the best thing about this alliance that I was in. Boo and I genuinely liked each other. Stacy and I genuinely liked each other and the same thing goes for Alex and Edgardo. We would actually sit there and have a good time just talking smack!

MJ: Now the question that I really wanted to ask you was about the fact that you were hanging with the boys a lot, especially on Ravu when you were over there so were they are particular juicy pieces of meat out there that you had your eye on? Any guys that sort of piqued your interest?

LL: Yeah, unfortunately he was on the other island and his name was Boo.

MJ: Really?

LL: Yes. It was really tragic for me.

MJ: That’s interesting to me because I think that if I asked that question to most girls, they’d be like ‘wow, she was hanging with Alex and Edgardo but she’s got her eye on Boo?!’

LL: But Boo, Boo is a maaaan. I mean he is a M-A-N, man. Like if he would have been on Ravu with me, he would have whipped up all those boys into shape and we would have won. Because he is a winner. I love me Boo.

MJ: Now what did you think of his dancing?

LL: His dancing! Well you know, you can’t have it all. What can I tell you?

MJ: (Laughs). You have taken a lot of flack for some of your comments recently especially when you said that you didn’t like the challenges and called even your alliance members losers. How do you respond and is that just how Lisi is? Straight-forward and direct?

LL: Listen Murtz. Let me just tell you one thing. If you are a muscle-bound, beautiful man and you have Yau Man throw a spear further than you if that’s not a loser, I don’t know what is.

MJ: (Laughs). I love it! I love it!

LL: I mean Yau Man. Did you see that man?

MJ: I did, I did.

LL: I was at the challenge thinking it’s so funny though because as we were at the challenge I was already thinking to myself, ‘this is it. I get to go home.’ Because I knew the boys had a loser mentality and even though they had the brawn to really do it, they didn’t step up to the plate. And here you have Yau Man thinking ‘the trajectory of the arrow blah blah blah,’ and there he was. Bullsye.

MJ: And it’s true. Everybody is propping up Yau Man instead of looking at the fact that your guys still lost.

LL: Right, exactly.

MJ: Now I also have to ask you about your fall I remember at that one memory challenge what happened?

LL: It’s funny because at the platform that we were at, there was a hole and I didn’t see the hole and when I jumped off the platform, I went STRAIGHT INTO THE HOLE! I was laughing so hard! I am like ‘this is so me!’ It’s so me that I would take a spill like this on national television. I had to stay down because I was laughing so hard that I was nearly drooling.

MJ: Who’s fall was worse. Yours or Michelle’s?

LL: Michelle I think makes better TV because she just fell out of the frame. To the left, to the left . AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

MJ: (Laughs). People also ripped into you for the comment about Liliana and her ‘diabolical Mexican mind.’ When I talked to her, she didn’t seem to be too happy about it. Can you explain that comment and do you regret it?

LL: No, it was fun. It was really lots of fun. And besides, me being Cuban? I kind of felt entitled to say something like that.

MJ: Right. And that’s a point that nobody gives you any credit for. It’s kind of like insulting one of your own

LL: For real, for real. And it was funny. My objective was to be funny and I am sitting here and I had to say something funny because it’s something fun to say. I mean what am I going to say about this situation? We have to get rid of her because Stacy wasn’t having her and she was starting to get on everyone’s nerves because she was really paranoid. Like ‘what’s going to happen?’ ‘Who are we going to vote off?’ And everybody was just like leave us alone. Hence the ‘diabolical Mexican mind.’

MJ: On Survivor Live, you talked about how you told Alex and Edgardo about the hidden immunity idol to basically help them since you were asking to leave the alliance. Was that the case?

LL: Totally. I felt that they had been so good to me, sheltering me throughout the whole game that my exchange for that was to tell them where the immunity idol was.

MJ: Did it upset you that they told Mookie and why do you think that they did?

LL: You know, they shouldn’t have done that. I think that’s a stupid move. I told them to keep it amongst themselves. To include Mookie is really not a smart thing because they don’t know Mookie.

MJ: Right, and at the end of the day, he’s still original Ravu right?

LL: See!

MJ: How tough was it watching the episode and basically seeing Mookie faking that he was helping you look for it. Did you find it funny or were you upset, especially after you said it would take a lot to fool an old cat like you?

LL: No, I was literally like ‘well, there you go.’ Run with it. I just wanted to give something to the guys in lieu of losing my vote but for them to turn around and give it to Mookie? Hey, hey an. It’s on you now.

MJ: I wanted to ask you about your music. You are a customer service rep by day and put together electro punk noise by night right? What does that entail? Tell me about the music.

LL: See. It’s just crazy music for crazy kids. I have a nice strong following in the Midwest and parts of Japan and I love the fact that these kids are never going to know that I was on Survivor and it’s just lots of fun. It’s just crazy music and the kids just love it.

MJ: A friend sent me over the Tightie Whities song on myspace and I have to say it is pretty catchy. It’s one of the catchiest songs that I have ever heard in my entire life. I have been singing it all week. What’s the story with it?

LL: Okay, this is how and I am so glad you’re asking me about this because are so clueless but it’s an ingenious story. Whenever I play shows, I get a lot of young guys coming backstage and I am always looking at them thinking ‘listen, you are completely naïve. You don’t know what you are getting yourself into.’ Hence, the whole song. Have you this this here and have you this this there. If so, then maybe we could talk. If not, we’re going to have some problems.

MJ: (Laughs). I love it and now just a little word association. So I will just ask you who somebody was and you just tell me the first thing that comes into your mind.

LL: Hit me.

MJ: Hottest guy?

LL: Boo.

MJ: Most annoying person?

LL: Cassandra.

MJ: Hottest girl?

LL: (Pause). Liliana?

MJ: Alex and Edgardo?

LL: Fun.

MJ: And finally, what’s next for you, Lisi?

LL: Eh, just going back to my job, going back to my life pretty much. Something like this, it doesn’t really change your life. It becomes an experience that you take with you.

MJ: It seemed to me like you weren’t there for the fame aspect of it. Just the adventure.

LL: For real. That to me was worth a million dollars.

MJ: Well, it was great talking. Absolutely great.

LL: Tightie whities little boy!

MJ: (Laughs). Have a great day!

LL: Bye- Bye!

Born in Miami, Florida, Lisette “Lisi” Linares lived on again and off again in New York City, taking college courses at New York University Film School before moving to Los Angeles. She currently works as a customer service representative for a psychic service company. She has previously worked as a reservationist and paralegal.

Linares describes herself as an “Underground Electropunk Noise Artist” and has procured quite a following (she had a hit in France in 2004). In her spare time, she enjoys hiking with her dog. Her favorite sport is tennis. She describes herself as creative, intelligent, smart, observant and fun. She believes her resourcefulness and humor will help her do well on SURVIVOR.

If Linares could hold any office, she would like to be the Mayor of Miami (ironically, her grandfather was once the mayor of his town in Cuba).

Linares currently resides in Los Angeles with her Scottish terrier, George. Her birth date is June 9, 1970.

Survivor: Fiji airs on CBS on Thursday nights at 8 p.m. ET/PT.

Survivor: Fiji airs on the Global network in Canada on Thursday nights at 8 p.m. ET/PT.

Sir Linksalot: Survivor: Fiji

Please credit Murtz Jaffer & when using this interview. If reposting, please post just an excerpt and link back to the rest of the piece.

Murtz Jaffer is the world's foremost reality television expert and was the host of Reality Obsessed which aired on the TVTropolis and Global Reality Channels in Canada. He has professional writing experience at the Toronto Sun, National Post, TV Guide Canada, and was a former producer at Entertainment Tonight Canada. He was also the editor at