The ECW Short Form, 04.17.07

Damn, have I been occupied. Job interview this morning, then on the phone with another company and two different sets of recruiters. I’m supposed to be recovering from surgery here, you know. Instead, everyone in the f*cking universe seems to want me. Out of work a year while stuck in Kansas, and now I’m being flooded. Well, hell, that’s life.

Okay, I ended up beating Andy Mac at VS, and we’ve got a whole bunch of new VSes lined up for you, featuring wrestling guys and a whole passel of non-wrestling guys to boot. Our little recruitment spiel in the Super-Secret Writers’ Forum has engendered a terrific response, and you’re going to be entertained, amused, and hopefully influenced. Also, watch out for a weird special feature coming soon. It’s gonna be big, and it’s gonna have contributions from the entire wrestling staff. Ironically, Grut started this off and, for once, he was serious.

Couple of Mailbag-oriented things before I start. First of all, you don’t know how great it is to hear from Gamble (and it’s not only your weirdoes; a certain university of my acquaintance would like to be known as “The University Of Chicago”). I’ve always respected him in a way I don’t with most of my colleagues. Now if some of the guys from 411 would only write in…you know, we don’t hate each other, we really don’t. It’s perfectly fine to write into me. We all know you still read me anyway. Everyone does.

I was able to guide longtime correspondent Colin Morton over to that Elton John live album that I pimped in my Elton review, and he can’t wait to pick it up. It’s always nice to be of benefit to people for good reasons. And thanks to everyone who wrote in responding to that review. I’ll be doing a couple more music reviews within the next few weeks, so MGF will get more stuff from me other than obituaries.

I’m not going to be reprinting a letter from Merwyn Haskett due to some rather personal information contained it it, so this’ll be one of those weird answers to nothing in particular. First of all, I really don’t think that Vicodin mixed with acetaminophen will cause liver damage. The standard Vike is either five or ten milligrams of hydroconone with 500 mg of acetaminophen. Similarly, Percocet is oxycontin with acetaminophen (Percodan is oxycontin with aspirin). Either should work for your purpose. The problem is that Vicodin is already addictive, and as you move up the ladder to Perks/Hillbilly Heroin to Dilaudid to morphine, the addiction factor goes up. So the doctor may be wanting to make sure that any time on high-powered analgesics is minimized. I think you should make a stab at going to Perks or maybe Fentanyl. It should help.

Memo to Aussie Bureau Chief Brett Wortham: Yes, I did get that mail, but never got a chance to respond to it. I’m perfectly fine in that regard, but thanks for that offer.

Now, let’s get on to ECW, shall we?

Match Results:

Gene Snitsky over Little Gui…Nunzio this week? Really? (Pinfall, Big Kick): Oh, well, maybe it’s back to Nunzio full-time now that he no longer has an FBI partner to play with. Or maybe he does after a certain ex-Russian gets through posing with the IC strap. Now that’d be interesting. Of course, they’d have to be moved over to Smackdown to have actual tag team matches, but that’s easily done. Nobody would even notice Guido’s gone.

Vince has me thinking Sinatra so much that “Ain’t That A Kick In The Head” is now playing in my mind

Sandman and Tommy Dreamer over Monty Brown and Kevin Fertig (Pinfall, Dreamer pins Fertig, rollup): This match reminds me of something I need to mention. Yes, Andy’s upset at me for beating him in VS this week. He’s purposely using extraneous nicknames in the Super-Secret Writers’ Forum in an attempt to piss me off. Not gonna work, kid. Take it like a man and Kneel Before Zod.

Pas de douchebag

Rob Van Dam over Elijah Burke (Pinfall, Five-Star Frog Splash): This match really needed to be Extreme Rules. But you’ve got to give credit to Burke. He’s showing vast improvement week after week. He did a very well-paced extended match with one of the hardest guys for another wrestler to get a handle on in that regard. Van Dam is a lot more difficult to wrestle than most people watching think, and Burke handled the situation very well. When the New Breed has used up its welcome, does anyone else see Burke heading over to Raw to enter the IC title picture? He’ll definitely be ready by then.

Even a Van Dam/Burke match can have restholds

Angle Developments:

We now know where exactly Punk is from in Chicago: Halsted and Roscoe

Culture Vultures: Oh, come on, Joey. How can you be certain that Dreamer and Sandman didn’t go to La Scala? I don’t see them passing up a performance of Cilea’s Adriana Lecouvreur in the city where it premiered in 1902. That opera is a specialty of La Scala; they do it better there than anywhere else in the world. The tickets may be a little expensive, but it’s definitely worth a shot. Besides, given its murder scene, it would be a nice little class for Dreamer and Sandman on how to sell stupid finishers.

That’s ECW for you. Now let’s see if I can get into those DVDs before I have to start Impact.

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