The SmarK 24/7 Rant for MSG Show – November 26 1984
– Ah, back in the early days of Hulkamania, when he was a mere 50 years old.
– Taped from Madison Cubed Garden
– Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Al Hayes.
Charlie Fulton v. SD Jones
I have no idea who Fulton is, so I’m guessing he was just a job guy. Jones takes him down with a sloppy armdrag as the announcers mention that Fulton is a former Green Beret who has “scored some surprising upsets as of late,” which pretty much means he’s doing the job here. They trade headlocks, but Fulton gets a clothesline for two. A quick trip to Obsessed With Wrestling reveals that Fulton started in 1968, and apparently retired soon after this match due to a heart condition, and has been a trainer ever since, including guys like Chris Harris and Raven. OK then. Fulton goes to the chinlock, and drops a leg for two. Back to the chinlock, and he hammers Jones down for two. And back to the chinlock. Jones fights out with a slam attempt, but Fulton falls on top and then drops an elbow for two. And back to the chinlock. Jones breaks out again with a bearhug into an atomic drop, and then another atomic drop to begin the comeback. Jones rather bluntly pounds him down, and Fulton makes the mistake of trying to headbutt him. Doesn’t he watch wrestling? Jones is BLACK! SD adds more headbutts to put Fulton down and then rams him into two of the turnbuckles, and they slug it out. Fulton misses a blind charge and Jones headbutts him to finish.
(SD Jones d. Charlie Fulton, headbutt — pin, 10:40, *1/2) It was what it was.
Jose Luis Rivera v. Moondog Spot
Gorilla questions the existence of Parts Unknown, because you have to fill out a wrestling license and you can’t just put “Parts Unknown” on there, apparently. Rivera tries a quick rollup, but Spot blocks him, so Rivera starts on the arm instead. Spot escapes, but misses an elbow and that allows Jose to go back to that armbar. He makes the ropes, but Rivera pulls him back out and keeps on it. Sunset flip gets two. And we’re back to the armbar. Spot escapes, but Rivera kicks him in the shoulder and gets two, and we’re back to the arm. Spot finally boots him in the gut to take over and pounds away, into a splash off the middle rope that gets two. Headbutt into the corner and he stomps away, then a forearm gets two. Shoulderbreaker gets two and we hit the chinlock. It’s so weird — I never gave Spot a second thought as a kid, but every time I see him wrestle now he brings something new and different to his offense and has great selling, too. Hard slam sets up another flying splash and that gets two, but he keeps picking up Rivera. He dumps Jose and stomps him on the apron, but Rivera comes back. He charges, but Spot is all “No way, Jose,” and knees him in the face before finishing with a rather vicious neckbreaker style clothesline from the second rope. Moondog Spot was pretty friggin cool.
(Moondog Spot d. Jose Luis Rivera, clothesline — pin, 9:17, **1/4) This gets an extra 1/4* just because I got a chance to use “No Way Jose” in a serious review.
Salvatore Bellomo v. Bobby Heenan
Heenan was merely managing John Studd at this point, and he actually offers a handshake to start. Heenan, scientific wrestler to the bone, then gives him a clean break before poking him in the eye on a headlock and then running into the ropes to hide. Then he lies to the referee about Bellomo using a closed fist before turning around and doing it himself. Truly he is the Brain. Bellomo turns around and uses the same tactics, since he’s getting blamed for it anyway, and tosses Bobby around the ring until Heenan bails. Back in, Sal gets a wristlock into a flying headscissors, and when Bobby bumps into the corner, Sal pounds on him until he falls out of the ring again. Back in, Bellomo slugs away, but Bobby goes to the eyes and hits the chinlock. Salvatore fights out, but Heenan backdrops him and drops knees on the back. That burst of offense doesn’t last long, however, as Bellomo headbutts him in the corner and rams his head into the mat until Bobby pokes him in the eye again. Heenan tosses him, and then necksnaps him as he gets back onto the apron. Bellomo tries to sunset flip back in, but Bobby punches him down to block and sits on him to finish. Bellomo accuses him of using the ropes, but the replay reveals that it was clean.
(Bobby Heenan d. Salvatore Bellomo, block sunset flip — pin, 8:57, *) Man, when you’re jobbing to BOBBY HEENAN, you’re a super-jobber. All stalling and cheating and stuff, of course.
Angelo Mosca v. Mr. Fuji
Fuji offers a clean break, but then gives him a cheap shot. It’s Mr. Fuji, what did he expect? Mosca gives him a taste of his own medicine, and it tastes FOUL. Fuji tries going for the arm, but Mosca takes him down and then changes his mind and lets him go. Mosca pounds away and offers him a sarcastic bow, and they do the test of strength. Obviously Mosca wins that one without any trouble, so Fuji goes with the martial arts instead and throws chops until he can bring Mosca down with the VULCAN NERVE PINCH OF DOOM. Mosca fights out, but Fuji is right back to it like ugly on Mosca. Angelo slugs out again and hits him with a shoulderblock in the corner, but Fuji goes to the tights and pulls out salt. Mosca grabs it, however, and the sleeper looks to end it, but never assume you’ve got all of Fuji’s salt, because you DON’T.
(Angelo Mosca d. Mr. Fuji, disqualification for thrown salt, 7:54, *) Very punch and kick with no real direction to it.
Cowboy Bob Orton v. Swede Hanson
I’ve heard the name, but I’m not familiar with Hanson as a wrestler. Hanson works a wristlock and then squeezes his head with a rather painful looking headlock, as he appears to have tree trunks for arms. Orton hits him in the throat to break and drops knees on him for two, then starts working on the neck with a cravate. Hanson powers out and tries another headlock, but Orton actually gets a successful blind charge and knocks the wind out of him. Orton drops an elbow for two and slugs away in the corner, but Hanson no-sells it and headbutts the crap out of him. Flying splash hits knee, and Orton finishes with a pump splash.
(Bob Orton d. Swede Hanson, pump splash — pin, 8:53, *1/4) Pretty dull stuff, as Swede was a very slow worker.
Rowdy Roddy Piper v. The Tonga Kid
Jimmy Snuka is in the Kid’s corner, so you know shit is gonna go down here. The heat for this is just amazing after a few matches of subdued action. They exchange slaps and Piper loses a slugfest, and the crowd is just berserk. Piper runs and Tonga drags him back in and fires away on the ground. They criss-cross and Piper sneaks in with a chop, but stops to mock Snuka and gets PWNED by Tonga as a result. Piper drops him with a backdrop suplex and tosses him, then waits until he gets back in and sends him on his way again. Tonga wisely goes to Snuka to keep Piper away, but Piper drags him back in again and chokes him out while biting him. Double thrust to the throat gets two. Kneelift gets two. Sleeper and the Kid is fading fast, but Hayes notes “Polynesians never know when they’re beat.” That’s some sage advice there, Alfred. Tonga fights up and Piper makes the mistake of running him into the turnbuckle, which allows the Kid to make the comeback. Headbutts follow, but Piper slams him to the floor to end the rally. Orton comes over and beats up on the Kid, and it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA as everyone brawls to set up the obvious tag team match.
(Roddy Piper drew Tonga Kid, double disqualification, 7:05, **) Quite fun, especially due to the crowd being crazy and all. The tag match is on a Best of the WWF tape and it’s pretty good, too.
Barry Windham v. Moondog Rex
Rex is of course Randy Culley, the guy who went on to be the original Smash. Barry gives a clean break to start and gets shoved down as a result, so he throws a dropkick and Rex backs off. Barry starts working the arm, but Rex goes with the headlock. Windham slams him and goes to his own headlock, dragging Rex off the ropes when he retreats there, but Rex pounds him in the corner to break. They slug it out and Barry wins that one, sending Rex to the floor, but Rex recovers quickly and yanks him down to take over. Windham takes a nice bump out of the ring and into the railing, and back in he gets slammed by Rex. Backbreaker gets two. He goes to the bearhug and that goes on for a while, then he switches to a body vice that Windham flips out of. Slugfest is won by Windham, but Rex manages to drop an elbow for two. Rex goes up and gets caught coming down, and Windham tries a comeback, but Rex keeps pounding him in the corner. Windham blocks a charge and finishes with a bulldog.
(Barry Windham d. Moondog Rex, bulldog — pin, 12:57, *1/2) Windham of course would have more success as a tag wrestler in his WWF run. Not a bad match, but Rex’s bearhug occupied a huge chunk of the match.
Tony Atlas v. The Executioner
Executioner attacks to start and pounds away in the corner, but grabs a headlock and gets dropkicked as a result. Military press and splash and it’s done.
(Tony Atlas d. The Executioner, splash — pin, 1:37, DUD) Total squash.
Rocky Johnson v. David “Dr. D” Schultz
Big stall to start as Schultz accuses Rocky of all sorts of transgressions and the ref dutifully investigates all of them. This goes on for a good long time until Dr. D finally attacks him during an examination and then convinces the ref that Johnson was in the wrong. And then another couple of minutes of stalling via the referee before Schultz attacks again and pounds him down. Choke choke choke. Rocky has finally had enough and slugs him down, but tries a slam and gets rolled up and pinned.
(David Schultz d. Rocky Johnson, reverses slam — pin, 9:03, 1/4*) This was literally 95% stalling.
David Sammartino v. Ken Patera
Patera is managed by Lou Albano at this point, which must have been very shortly before his face turn. They do the power stuff to start, with David forcing Patera into the corner. Patera comes back with a shoulderblock, but David presses him. David goes to the headlock, but Patera slugs out of it and takes over after a snapmare, as we get some choking. Rollup gets two. David fires back with the punches and Patera begs off, but David chokes him out in the corner and stomps away. Patera runs away, but nearly runs into Bruno and decides to take his chances with the son instead. Back in, Patera tosses David and slams him on the floor. Back in, Patera uses the clubbing forearms and stomps him down, and a suplex gets two. And now it’s bearhug time. David powers out and comes back with an atomic drop, and a kneedrop gets two. Small package gets two. They slug it out and David gets a sunset flip for two. David drops down and sweeps the leg, but then misses a blind charge and Patera clubs on him in the corner. Finally Lou Albano trips up David and it’s a donnybrook.
(David Sammartino d. Ken Patera, outside interference — DQ, 12:37, *1/2) This was technically OK, but David just moved so stiffly and didn’t even have the charisma of his father to carry him through. He never really looked comfortable out there, despite the push they gave him.
Intercontinental title: Greg Valentine v. Tito Santana
We get a bit of a chase to start and Santana starts beating on him, ramming his head into the mat, and they exchange shots in the corner until Tito grabs a facelock to take him down. Tito stomps on him and goes back to the facelock, really grinding it in, but Valentine drops him on the top rope to break it up. Hammer drops elbows on the apron, but Tito pulls him to the floor and sends him into the railing to regain the advantage. Back in, Tito nails him with a punch to trigger a Flair Flop from Greg, and Tito keeps punching to put him down again. Rolling necksnap and he wants the figure-four, but Valentine immediately hops up and gets to the ropes. He brings Tito down with a shoulderbreaker, and drops knees for two. They do the knucklelock-bridge spot, but Valentine goes low and drops an elbow. Another elbow to the head gets two. He goes for the figure-four, but Tito kicks him into the corner and then comes out of nowhere with the flying forearm, which knocks Greg right onto the apron as the crowd freaks out. Tito is unable to drag him back into the ring, so he goes the other way instead and wraps the leg around the post. He goes after the knee with a chair, which is surprisingly not a DQ, and then goes nuts on the knee in the ring. He works on it and drops knees on the it, and tries the figure-four, but Valentine yanks him down and reverses into an indian deathlock. Tito makes the ropes, so Greg fires back with a butterfly suplex and drops the hammer for two. He goes to the chinlock, and Tito quickly fights out of it, but Valentine clubs him from behind and gets two, then goes back to it again. Another nasty elbowdrop gets two. They slug it out, but Hammer whips him into the corner and follows with a shoulderblock. He gets cocky and tries it again, and Tito monkey-flips him into the post. Greg starts bleeding and Tito just viciously punts him in the head, and Valentine flops again. Tito works the cut and gets two. Flying forearm and Hammer is done, but kicks out at two. Tito is a real bastard, kneeing him in the forehead to mess up the cut, and he hits him with an atomic drop and gets two. They roll around and exchange punches on the mat, but Tito is more pissed off and gets two. Tito goes back to the knee again, picking at that thread again, and a suplex follows, but he puts his head down and Valentine boots him to stop the comeback. Valentine also works on the knee now and they fight it out on the mat again as this turns into a war of attrition, and a small package gets two for Santana. Valentine keeps trying to run, but Santana drags him in, and it’s curfew to end it.
(Tito Santana drew Greg Valentine, time expires, 22:22, ****1/4) This was good old mean and nasty grudge match stuff, with Santana not being afraid to get his hands dirty and both guys shooting for the knee but not able to outmaneuver the other long enough to get the figure-four. A tremendous match that was sadly lacking a finish, but was a great effort regardless.
The Inside Pulse
Pretty dull show overall, but the main event is well worth checking out if you can get through the other two hours.