Wrestling News, Opinions, Etc., 04.24.07

In Memoriam: Boris Yeltsin, of course. Why did I love the guy? Well, let me tell you about my particular situation in 1991. I was originally scheduled to be transferred out of Germany in January 1991. Well, that was made impossible by certain circumstances. So, my transfer was put on hold until late August 1991. One week before I was scheduled to leave, the attempted coup happened in Moscow. If anything could have stopped it, the coup was it. The sight of Yeltsin atop that tank, speaking to everyone gathered around the Russian White House, gave me hope that the coup leaders wouldn’t succeed. I knew then that I’d get back to the States. Thank you, Boris Nikolayevich.

In Memoriam II: David Halberstam, the ultimate example of the journalist’s journalist, and a role model to any of us that attempt to report the news.

And that brings us to the latest installment of Eric’s Medical Problems. I got the stitches out of my knee yesterday, thus ending the intolerable itching, and my doctor wants me to spend another two weeks out of work to ensure it heals. So, I decided to take advantage of another little situation that I’ve wanted to handle. I’ve reached the age where my eyes stop adapting easily to minor changes in vision. My right eye’s been getting weaker over the past year, so I consulted the local laser eye surgery place yesterday. I’ll be having some PRK done to correct my right eye on Thursday morning, mostly because they don’t want to open up the flap created by the last LASIK. Should be clear by the time Impact comes on, and totally healed by the time I get back to work. Then again, I do have some work to do for this site on Saturday, something about an ROH show and some guy having his last ROH match. Oh, well, there’s no one else here who wants to cover it.

I’ve got nothing else. Let’s move on to the Pimps…

THE PIMP SECTION

You ask Burnsie questions. He answers. It’s that simple.

Glazer understood where I was going in VS last week about providing context with ROH material. I’m going to need his help this weekend in getting their Chicago show correctly placed in that regard.

Brashear continues to do with Mistico what Glazer does with ROH.

Paul perfectly captures the annoyance of people blaring their radios with the car windows open.

Wind‘s taste in music is, as always impeccable.

Double S captures the Week That Was in Broken Dial. He’s also my next opponent in VS, followed by Cash. They’re lining up to face me, poor guys.

Beadle expresses disappointment with the big offerings from the Big Two. In other words, he’s feeling about comics right now as I did about fifteen years ago.

Fann documents a life of wanderlust, something that I know that I exhibit as well. Why can’t I set roots down anywhere but Chicago?

Sutton expresses perfectly the love that all of us in Popcorn Junkies have for Pam Grier.

Carroll decides to use a national-level tragedy to make political hay, just like your typical right-winger. What a complete piece of shit he is.

THE PROBLEMS SOME PEOPLE HAVE WHEN THEY TAKE THEIR WORK OUTSIDE THE WORKPLACE

Sean O’Haire is in jail right now, so says 1bullshit Junior. He’s being formally charged with felony assault and battery due to his part in a brawl outside a Hilton Head bar. Right now, the judge isn’t sure who started the whole thing, since both sides are saying different things, as usual (the other guy involved is being charged with the same crimes). Well, that’s part of being a judge, I guess. He’s got to figure this out.

But it looks like O’Haire is headed to jail. That pretty much ends his career right there given the probable sentence he’ll receive if found guilty. Too bad, really. The guy had lots of potential, some of which was fulfilled in WCW, before WWE pissed it down the drain with some bad career moves for him. Too bad it had to be him, really. I don’t know what else I can say about this, actually. So, I’ll leave it there and live with the memories of his good times in the ring. At least Jindrak is having a good career revival down in Mexico right now.

That’s all I found in the news that I want to discuss. Gotta move on to Raw now.

THE SHORT FORM

Match Results:

Shane McMahon, Jamalga, and Vince McMahon over Robbie Brookside, Let’s Change The Match Stips To Let Everyone In On The Fun Match (Pinfall, Vince pins Brookside, rollup): I know Brookside’s one of the most popular wrestlers in Britain. I’m just not sure if he’s already under a developmental contract with WWE or not. If not, expect him to be. That’s the usual reward for a British wrestler jobbing to someone on one of WWE’s tours.

How not to do the Heimlich

Trevor Murdoch over Mattsy-Poo (Pinfall, The Texas Version Of The Canadian Destroyer, Only, Well, Not As Good): Who cares? What would have been more fun is this: have all four guys go outside of Earl’s Court and have a competition to see who’d pick up the most men around the area, winner’s team gets the tag titles. I have this feeling that Cade would actually beat either of the Faerie Princes in that contest.

Is “Choke The Life Out” an option?

Melina Perez over Maria Kanelis, Non-Title Match (Pinfall, face plant): Damn, is this show boring or what? I feel sorry for the Brits. This is the “big” live show that WWE goes out of their way to give to them? And it doesn’t look like it’s going to get any better.

If Punk was expecting a blowjob after the show, he’d better change his plans

The Great Ha-Ha Khali over Carly Colon (Pinfall, powerslam): Bored here. Nodding off. Finding it difficult to type. Must have mental stimulation. Considering switching to DVD review and blowing this off. Done the Pimp Section, so might as well continue. Death is an option.

Carly camps it up for the audience

Shawn Michaels over John Cena, Non-Title Match (Pinfall, Sweet Chimp Music): Fingers thinks this is an MOTYC. Fingers is insane. Just like the Wrestlemania match, the pacing was choppy, and the amount of time given to it meant that they had to draw it out as much as possible, leading to many dull extended sequences. It didn’t help that the rest of the show was so boring that it sent me into somnolence before this match began. Not even if this match was a five-snowflaker could it have woken me up.

There’s got to be a better place than in the middle of the match to tell someone he’s got a zit

Angle Developments:

Fuck Chelsea. Up your Arsenal.

At lesat someone’s amused by this

Yeah, I know, short column, but I have to get to an interview today and do a little shopping on the way back, so I want to get this in queue. I’ll be having a lot more for you this week, though, so stick around. Until ECW, tie a knot and hang on.

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