Evening all. Post Backlash. I’m Tom Pandich, let’s do it.
Vince is with Cena in the back. Vince is the new ECW champ and he’s pulling a Cena gimmick. Somewhat hillarious. John Cena calls Vince a crazy man in a doo rag. Here’s Shawn. He wants a shot at the belt tonight. Instead, Vince makes the match a “win tonight, get a shot next week”.
Intro, fireworks, what not.
Edge vs Randy Orton
Because Cena/Michaels went so long, this match got bumped from last week….. right. Orton does not look happy. Slightly angry stare down to start off. Slap to Orton who unloads on Edge. It looks like Edge is playing the heel tonight. Edge bails and is chased around the ring by Orton. Action moves back in and Edge misses the clothesline to be poked in the eye. Also cute.
Orton stomps on Edge and does his standard heel offense for what seems like a rather long time. Edge gets tossed on the apron and then hits the guard rail. Commercials.
We’re back and Edge eats a European uppercut. He crawls to the corner only to ram Orton into the ring post. Orton is wobly on the apron and Edge spears him on to the announcer’s table! Edge rolls him back in for a two count. Edge looks pissed at that. He stomps away at Orton and then hits a knee drop for two. Edge is even more pissed. He hooks in a chinlock which Orton fights out of only to be bicycle kicked down.
Edge heads up top but here comes Orton. They exchange blows only until Edge hits a headbutt. Edge comes off the top only to be dropkicked. Both men are slow getting up and they start slugging each other on their knees. Orton seems to have the advantage until Edge thumbs Orton’s eye. Orton counters with his inverted back breaker for two.
Orton Irish whips Edge and gets caught with his head down. Orton bounces back with a mean powerslam. Two count. Both men are up, but Edge hits an Edgecutioner out of no where for two. Both men hit the ropes again and collide with dual crossbodies. Both men are slow getting up, but Orton goes for a quick pin. Edge reverses for two. Orton gets pissed and starts beating away at Edge in the corner only to get dropped across the top turnbuckle to get busted open what looks like the hard way.
Both men are up slow again. Edge misses the clothesline…. RK NO. Edge hits a gigantic impaler DDT. Edge is first up only to miss the spear into the corner. Randy measures Edge for an RKO again. Edge blocks and shoves Orton into the corner. Orton stops himself only to run into a spear! That’s it.
Winner: Edge
Internet smarts and marks alike. This match was twice the match either of the Cena/Michaels contests were (though II was much, much better).
Speaking of which, we see Michaels win last week in London. Later tonight, Cena/Michaels Part III. We also see guy beat Umaga for the IC title. Santino Marella’s first live interview is next.
We’re back and here’s Santino Marella. They explain he’s been in the US for the past five years wrestling and he goes back to Italy to visit his family and goes on to win the IC Title. Santino hits all of the cliches. He got drunk with his family. Marella is defending next week. Short cute interview.
Time for Backlash stuff. Rob Van Dam rants against Vince McMahon’s title run. Later tonight, RVD/Umaga. Meanwhile, Shane offers up his congratulations to Vince. Vince thanks Shane for last night. Shane says he loves his father and they hug. Shane gets to hold the belt.
In the back, Maria is with Edge. He doesn’t look happy. He calls Maria a bimbo. Edge wants his shot. He didn’t lose last night, Randy did. He’s inserting himself back into the championship picture whether anyone likes it or not.
At Backlash, the Jeff and Matt retained. Ringside Cade and Murdoch are there for commentary.
Jeff Hardy vs Johnny Nitro
Hardy makes a quick pin attempt. He hits a reverse bicycle kick for two. Hardy gets caught in Nitro’s crossfire and is hammered away at by Nitro. This lasts only for a bit. Whispers in the Wind is followed by a vertical suplex dropped forward. For some reason, Nitro gets a cover for two. Nitro heads to the top only to get backdropped off the top rope. Swanton finishes it.
Winner: Jeff Hardy
Cade and Murdoch want to shake Jeff’s hand after the match. He refuses to shake their hands though and peace’s out.
Last night at Backlash, pictures were taken. John Cena won in unconscious fashion. Still tonight, Cena/Michaels III. Next though, RVD takes on Umaga.
Last night at Backlash, more pictures were taken. Vince won the ECW title in number games. Shane introduces Umaga and that’s next.
Umaga vs RVD
Joined in progress. RVD gets pushed off the top to the floor. Ouch.
Umaga squishes RVD with a Samoan drop. RVD fights back a bit. He tries for a scoop slam and is squished by Umaga for two. RVD gets tossed into the corner. RVD hops over Umaga and slaps on the sleeper hold for about two minutes. RVD gets dumped outside, but slaps the sleeper on again. Umaga runs into the stairs to get him off.
RVD rolls in and eats a flying head butt. Van Dam is up Umaga misses the corner squish. RVD pops up and tries for a sunset flip. Umaga stays standing, but he misses the drop on RVD. Rob pops up. He hits the side kick off the top. Rolling Thunder gets one. Umaga hits a headbutt to no avail. RVD drops Umaga. Five Star Frogsplash….. is countered.
Wait, Umaga is hit by the move but he “blocks” it by catching Rob while laying down by the throat. I know it’s pro wrestling, but COME ON!!!!! At least try and make it look not moronic. Thumb of doom finishes it.
Winner: Umaga
Cena/Michaels III is next.
Cowboy Troy is on Raw. No I don’t care who that is either. In the back, Carlito and Flair are going to have a match against the World’s Greatest Tag Team. Um, so much for Cena/Michaels III.
John Cena vs Shawn Michaels
Err, maybe not. Carlito/Flair vs TWGTT might be next week. Or it might be tonight. I don’t know. Oh wait…. Michaels has ketchup squirted on his neck in the back.