BLATT vs. ECW on SciFi – May 1st, 2007

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Dear Wrestling Fans,
I am the ECW Champion. I have the ECW championship and will not release it until more of you are watching ECW and buy more PPVs. Dave Lagana and Dusty Rhodes are useless against me. You have until ECW is renewed or you will never see ECW or the championship belt ever again.
Vince McMahon

The show starts with a recap of Backlash’s ECW title match.

Let the bodies hit the floor.

The arena is real small tonight and the entrance ramp is even smaller. Lashley’s music hits and he looks upset in his new t-shirt. The crowd tries to cheer him up with some chants of his name, but he’s still upset anyway. He’s got a mic, this could get ugly.

Lashley addresses the crowd talking about how no one is happy except the McMahons, but he has a way of making it all better. That is giving Vince the beating of a lifetime. He doesn’t care if he’s got an injured shoulder. Lashley wants a rematch. Instead of Vince, we get Estrada in a wheelchair and a neck brace still selling the effects of Lashley’s beating last week.

He says he won’t let Lashley ruin this special night. He blames Lashley that Vince was shaved bald. Actually, I think that’s Hogan and Big Show’s fault. Third on the list would be the Great Khali. THEN Lashley. Estrada never got the memo that Lashley being Trump’s representative was the third best option. He says Lashley will get a rematch, but not tonight.

We get a rehashing of the old Austin angle and Lashley can’t touch Vince, Shane or Umaga without being physically provoked. If he does he’ll lose his rematch. Estrada leaves himself off the list, which is a mistake. Armando realizes this and gets wheeled by Lashley to the stairs by the ring. Lashley’s music hits and we go to commercial after a few replays.

Elijah Burke is backstage holding court with the New Breed complaining about CM Punk and how he turned his back on the New Breed.

Next up… CM Punk! He’s back to being a face on his way to the ring. He’s got “CAPPS” written on his arm tape for Matt Cappotelli. We get a replay of Punk’s beating on Burke following last week’s eight man elimination match.

The New Breed follows Punk. Burke is upset that the New Breed got used by Punk. Burke says Punk’s gonna fight, and he’s gonna fight Kevin Thorn. Thorn doesn’t look all that happy.

CM Punk over Kevin Thorn by Go to Sleep
Punk starts with a hammer lock and a high knee, but Thorn takes control quickly with some kicks and forearms to Punk’s chest. Thorn goes quickly to a rear naked choke that Punk powers out of, ducks a few clotheslines and attempts a cross body but gets caught and thrown to the floor. Punk gets his strikes in and finishes with a Go to Sleep.

Burke’s not too happy and leaves the arena area.

They replay the video package of the interviews with the Originals from Monday and WWE.com and we go to commercials. Later tonight we’ll get the confrontation between the Originals and Vince. But up next is the Nitro Girls. Yuck.

So it’s extreme expose time and they’re dancing to Warrant’s Cherry Pie. At least I know the song this week. Has anyone seen the Suicide Girls special that’s aired on Cinemax? This has less substance than that.

Thorn confronts the New Breed (and speaks!) asking where they were. Burke gives him some crap for losing to Punk. Thorn says that as far as Burke and the New Breed is concerned, he quits. Wow. That guy has some charisma when he speaks. Why hasn’t he spoken yet? Oh yeah, this is ECW. Never mind.

The Originals video package is shown one more time. Dreamer blames Vince for the death of ECW. Funny, I’d blame one man who could book on hell of a wrestling promotion, but didn’t know jack about running a successful company.

Brian and Brett Majors over Matt Striker and Marcus Cor Von w/Elijah Burke
The Majors brothers are from Long Island, New York. I like them already. Striker starts and the Majors have control until Marcus is tagged in. MCV dismantles the Majors brother that’s in the ring with a press slam into a fall away slam. I guess they couldn’t reform the FBI this week to fight the New Breed. MCV misses a shoulder block in the corner and both teams tag out. The other Majors brother has control of Striker until MCV hits the ring. MCV throws one Majors out, goes to back body drop him but Majors sunset flips Striker for a two. TWO!

MCV is pulled out of the ring by the other Majors and Striker pounds on Majors. Striker goes for something in the corner but instead gets cross body blocked for a three count!

Burke berates Striker post match and Striker walks away upset like Burke just kicked his dog. I’m sure no one saw that loss coming after Thorn lost his match earlier in the night.

I wonder which was worse. Vince winning the ECW title off of Lashley or Vince jobbing Tazz out to HHH on WWE television after Tazz beat Mike Awesome for the ECW title. Both were pretty humiliating for the ECW title. I suppose I would actually choose jobbing out Tazz on television because ECW still had an infinitely small chance of surviving after the title changed hands from Mike Awesome to Tazz.

Ugh. Next up we’ve got our new ECW world champion, Mr. McMahon. Do you know it was seven years almost to the day that David Arquette won the WCW world championship? How disgusting is that?

Vince says he is going to do something he might regret. Vince he says he’s going to expose himself, and he takes off his jacket to expose the ECW world heavyweight championship belt. I think I just threw up in my mouth. Vince says he’ll fight Lashley, but when and where Vince wants. Vince changes gears to the ECW Originals.

Best sign of the night: WHERE’S WCW?

Vince invites the Originals to the ring if they’ve got the guts. The ECW music hits and the Originals parade out from the back. I like how Richards, Balls and Little Guido aren’t considered “Originals” for some reason. He addresses RVD first.

RVD says he Vince killed ECW and it’s a mockery of what the Originals stand for. Next is Sabu, who just stares at Vince. Third is Sandman, who shows Vince three fingers and asks him to read between the lines. Vince points out Dreamer’s gold boots, then asks him what he thinks.

“You think you brought back ECW in your image? The fans demanded ECW come back. Not you. And your name may be on my paycheck, but each and every one of these people and the millions at home pay my salary. And they know about the spirit of ECW.” – Tommy Dreamer

Vince says talk is cheap. He wants to know who has the guts to take him on one on one. Sabu’s still not talking. What a surprise because they haven’t had a problem making him talk before. Vince makes the four Originals compete in an extreme rules fatal four way. The Originals don’t look too pleased. Vince has the stage hands bring out weapons, including a cement mixer? The Originals have a conference as we go to commercials.

Rob Van Dam over Tommy Dreamer, Sabu and the Sandman
Alright, we’re back and the match is just starting. Sabu goes for a quick pin, following one by the Sandman and they pair off as Sabu and Sandman fight and Dreamer and RVD fight. RVD and Sabu are sent out of the ring leaving Dreamer and Sandman. Sandman takes a second rope clothesline from Dreamer. RVD and Sabu start throwing weapons into the ring. RVD puts a chair on Dreamer as he hits Rolling thunder and Sabu hits a leg drop simultaneously. Dreamer hits Sandman and Sabu with a a trash can. Dreamer clotheslines Sandman out of the ring and and gets dropped across the barricade by Sandman. Sandman is hit by a baseball slide by Sabu. Sabu throws himself at RVD on the apron and they head out of the ring. IN the ring, Sandman hits a bulldog on Dreamer on a trash can. That only gets at two. TWO!

Sandman goes to the top, but gets a trash can to the lower lumbar region. Dreamer brings a chair into the ring as Sandman’s in a Tree of Woe. Sandman takes a double leg drop kick by Dreamer in the tree of woe. RVD belly to backs Sabu on the Cane but can only get a two. TWO!

RVD skateboards the Sandman and hits Sabu with a chair, but gets pile driven by Dreamer and bounces about three feet into the air from the bounce. That guy needs to give lessons on that. Dreamer goes into his Jesus Christ pose, but gets caned. Sandman gets hit with a chair by Sabu, followed by the triple jump moonsault, which only gets a two. TWO!

Sabu brings a table into the ring and sets it up. Sandman is laid out on the table, Sabu goes up to the top rope but is intercepted by Dreamer. Dreamer superplexes Sabu into the Sandman who is still on the table. Ow.

RVD hits the five star frog splash on the Sandman and that’s the match. I suppose the goodwill tour isn’t over after all. Next week it’s Rob Van Dam vs. Vince McMahon. Interesting.

The Inside Pulse
— Match Results:

  • CM Punk over Kevin Thorn by Go to Sleep
  • Brian and Brett Majors over Matt Striker and Marcus Cor Von w/Elijah Burke
  • Rob Van Dam over Tommy Dreamer, Sabu and the Sandman