The ECW Short Form, 05.01.07

Columns, Reviews, Shows, TV Shows

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My column would have gone up yesterday, honestly. However, an important part of that column was a set of graphics, and Wids was switching the site from a temporary server to a permanent one on Tuesday. I told Fingers to delay on putting my column up because there were certain graphics included that were important to the column. But, it was done and put up, and in queue are a DVD review which should be up shortly and an album review that MGF’s going to delay on slightly due to its release date being later this month. I was on a pretty good roll Tuesday, actually.

(And now, uploading graphics is failing, so I’ll do this one without screen caps.)

Yeah, I actually caught up on some backlog. So, what’s left? Four DVDs, including a box set. A pair of albums in a series that I’ll do together. Plus, I’ll be doing a couple of books for MGF as soon as they come in the mail. What can I say? I’m a pretty in-demand kind of guy.

In fact, the only person who doesn’t want me is WWE. ECW is in the midst of a Faustian bargain. We all wanted more attention on the show to end its poor status within the company. Well, on Sunday, we got the one scenario guaranteed to give it attention within the company. Of course, it was the one thing we didn’t want to happen to ECW. Let’s see how they’re coping with it…

Match Results:

CM Fuckin’ Punk over Kevin Fertig (Pinfall, Go To Sleep): And now we start the actual substance portion of this angle, as Burke starts to send the New Breed out because…because…because he’s personally ticked off? Really, does Burke have that kind of importance for a motivation like that? Look, Flair could get away with this stuff with the Horsemen. Trip could get away with it with DX 2.0 and Evolution. But they’re Flair and Trip. Just roll the idea around in your head and think about the New Breed. Would Monty Brown, in any persona, take orders from Elijah Burke? He didn’t take orders from Jarrett in TNA, yet now he’s calmly acquiescing to Burke’s desires. No, this doesn’t make sense at all. I love Burke, I think he’s improving by leaps and bounds every week, but I just don’t buy him as a faction leader that commands unthinking obedience. There’s going to have to be more of a revolt among the New Breed against Burke, and soon; Fertig quitting just doesn’t have the heft to it that the angle needs.

Brian Majors and Brett Majors over Monty Brown and Matt Striker (Pinfall, one of them pins Striker, flying cross-body): Well, at least the Majors Brothers got the call-up to the bigs that we’ve been expecting for a while now. They’ve been getting some good notices lately, and this is a very good introductory match before they’re sent over to, probably, Smackdown, where they’d definitely fit in alongside Team Twink Porn and that group; however, the upset may mean that they’re trying to get the ECW tag division off the ground again, which is a no-hoper at this point. They did credit to themselves with this match, showing no problems in their in-ring performances and adapting very well to Monty’s style in particular. Let’s hope this is the beginning of good things for them instead of something that won’t work out.

Rob Van Dam over Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, and Sandman, Fatal-Four Way Extreme Rules Number One Contender’s Match (Pinfall, Van Dam pins Sandman, Five-Star Frog Splash): Just to remind you if you weren’t around, a Four-Way Dance would be a four-man elimination match. A Fatal Four-Way is one fall to a finish. If Vince is supposed to be ECW champion, he should know the difference. What was most upsetting was that ROH used the wrong terminology over the weekend too. Yeesh.

They missed a couple of tricks here. During the early part of the match, they were going pretty light on each other compared to what you’d expect from an Extreme Rules match. That was something they should have kept up during the entire match instead of pulling out the ECW Greatest Hits package. It would have been a sign of collective defiance. “Don’t give Vince what he wants” should have been the by-word of this match. Instead, they clicked into reflex action and went Extreme. This was a time when Extreme Rules should have been as watered-down as possible. Just do virtually nothing to each other in the ring and let Joey and Tazz sell the audience on why. Thus, this match really didn’t make sense. It’s been a week for that so far in WWE. For instance, on Sunday, with UT and Batista out cold, why didn’t FudgePacker cash in MITB? The “I won’t take a cheap shot” promo on Raw made no sense given his promo with Edge during the PPV.

Oh, God, I’m trying to figure out WWE angle booking again. I don’t know why I do that. It always gives me a headache.

Angle Developments:

For The Benefit Of Those Who Weren’t Around: A good portion of the jokes today about hair metal exist because of Warrant’s “Cherry Pie”, especially because of its video, which redefined the word “stupid” for a generation. It made the video for Journey’s “Separate Ways” look like a Scorsese film. For music lovers of a certain age, the playing of this song is like fingernails on a blackboard. So why exactly did Extreme Expose dance to it? Why have them bring up those memories with me? Those bastards.

Sorry about the lack of screen caps, but, hey, sometimes we just can’t bring them to you, and this is one of those times. Be back later this week to see more stuff from me, and don’t just check in Pulse Wrestling. Until I see you next, ta.

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