Contradicting Popular Opinion:
An Enquiry Concerning Why Your Favorite Movie Sucks
The Movies of Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day, at least traditionally speaking, isn’t a movie-heavy holiday. Maybe we can change that thing. Sure, we could spend the time with Mom, watching one of her favorite movies, and so forth, but is that really how you want to spend your Sunday? What if your mom is a big fan of Pauly Shore or Yahoo Serious? I guess you could have a cool mom, who wants to spend the day watching The Searchers or a marathon of Jan Michael Vincent flicks.
But does that really celebrate the holiday?
I say to thee, nay.
Obviously, the greatest film about motherhood ever produced is Aliens. Sigourney Weaver’s maternal instinct kicks in, and suddenly she’s scarier than a gaggle of space marines. The big climax of the movie? She gets into a fight with another mother, calls her a bitch and chokes the shit out of her.
Truly the apotheosis of a good mom.
I suppose that one could follow up this flick with T2, a Cameron movie with similar elements, but I don’t really feel it my place to say.
What if you hate your mother or the mother of your children? Why, this opens up an entire world of Mother’s Day viewing opportunities! Camp classic Mommy Dearest and David Cronenberg’s post-divorce film The Brood would seem to be a drive-in worthy double feature. If these aren’t your cup of tea, don’t panic. There are plenty of misogynist films out there for your viewing pleasure. Pick and choose at your leisure!
All of this is well and good, but the greatest source of twisted satisfaction would come from movie marathons geared towards those women “in a family way.” The 1986 version of The Fly is a fairly disturbing thing to show to a pregnant lady, and a little less obvious than something like Rosemary’s Baby. Or maybe Carnosaur, in which a disease causes women to lay dinosaur eggs? In the end, perhaps back to back viewing of the It’s Alive trilogy is the best route to travel.
Of course, if you do watch a movie with your mom, you know she’s going to want to watch Pay It Forward.
