The Silverbacks had their backs against the wall after a devastating loss to the Anacondas. They knew walking into The Mark they had to beat Ken Shamrock’s Lions.
Pat Miletich’s team discussed their old school training. “Pat put me through hell and now somebody’s going to pay for it,†assured “Big†Ben Rothwell.
The Quad Cities local fans demonstrated they are clearly behind their hometown boys as they partied with the teams at Hooters during the weigh-ins. I know I’ve said this before, but I still think it’s funny that these men stripped down to their nearly nothings in an establishment most notable for hot wings and scantily-dressed women.
The first fight of the evening pitted Pat “Bam Bam†Healy against crowd favorite Rory Markham in the welterweight division. This bout was anticipated to be the fight of the night and the contenders did not disappoint. Round one opened with Healy connecting with a well-placed combination, dropping Markham to the mat. Healy jumped in with ground and pound but Markham had mostly recovered. With Healy unable to mount, Markham returned to his feet, attempting a failed guillotine. Markham was in serious trouble with Healy assuming the dominate position on the ground throwing haymakers into his opponent’s face. The second round went straight to the mat with Healy once again on top. In full mount, Healy pounded Markham until he gave up his back. Markham managed to return the fight to its feet then connected multiple shots only to be taken down again with less than a minute to go. With less than 30 seconds left in the round, Markham got back to his feet. Healy missed with a wide, swinging haymaker by a mere breath only to suffer a solid superman punch from Markham. Bloodied and exhausted, Markham returned in the third round to face a much fresher-looking Healy. Markham landed a flying knee without much effect then landed a straight right, which obviously rocked Healy but did not follow through. Markham backed Healy into a corner, catching Healy right on the button with a powerful right which left Healy out on his feet. Not that he felt it, but Markham still threw at least four more punches against Healy’s sizable chin just for good measure. Rory took the win 37 seconds into the third round by knockout.
Ryan McGivern is said to have a resting heart rate of 37. After 21 minutes on a stress test, the treadmill shut down. Dan Molina came into the Lion’s Den as a teenager with the goal of proving his high school English teacher wrong after she told him that MMA fighter was not a valid career choice. The middleweight fight between these two very different combatants went all three rounds with the decision going to McGivern.
With John Ciesnolevics unable to compete due to a broken nose, Sam Hoger stepped up to take on the very experienced Vernon “Tiger†White. The first round of fighting went straight to the floor. While Hoger and White took care of business on the mat, John C. explained that he didn’t feel John Gunderson, who had been saying the Ciesnolevics was ducking the fight against Tiger White, had earned the right to talk smack about why the light heavy was unable to take this fight. After having the dominate position through most of the first round, White found himself on the ground under the Alaskan, even giving his back just seconds before the bell. Round two saw White in what appeared to be a very secure guillotine but Hoger was not able to finish it. Hoger missed with a high kick, opening himself to the rear naked choke that put the Lion’s on the board. Being always the tough coach, Ken Shamrock congratulated White on his win but was brutally honest in his assessment of White’s less than Tiger-like performance. A good sportsman, White thanked Hoger for stepping up and chided the crowd for booing.
The Heavyweights were up next: Roy “Big Country†Nelson against “Big†Ben Rothwell. Rothwell landed some bombs but Nelson easily recovered, driving Rothwell against the ropes where the Silverback had a point taken away for intentionally grabbing them. Nelson connected hard with a knee to Rothwell’s face but was paid back with a high kick to the head. The second round was an exercise in even exchanges. If Rothwell landed a knee, Nelson would return with a sick combination. Nelson looked like he was gassing, but it certainly didn’t show in the intensity of his blows. Rothwell’s face was battered by the end of the second round. These boys continued their war of attrition in the 3-spot. Both exhausted with punches thrown slower, each fighter still traded knees with uppercuts. Neither fighter was willing to quit. In a split decision, Rothwell took the win. My personal opinion on this one is that Nelson had more takedowns and caused more damage to his opponent. It appeared to me that Nelson owned this one. Unfortunately for the Lion’s, I wasn’t a judge.
Before the lightweight fight, Madd TV’s Debra Wilson Skelton, the IFL’s own Bas Rutten, and America’s Next Top Model Cassandra Jean reviewed candidates for the new IFL Ring Girl positions. Oh boy. Erica, an 18 year old who can do very impressive cartwheels and splits was up first. She apparently can walk easily in unimaginably high heels. She loves to dance and do gymnastics and says she thinks she looks pretty good in her bikini. I won’t lie; I wouldn’t mind looking like her in my bikini. The judges loved her for keeping it real. Simone, a Brittney Spears look-alike, was up next. Bas appeared to be enjoying himself but Jean didn’t seem as impressed. However, Jean did tell her she was beautiful but wanted to know why she left her application blank other than to say she continually wrecks her car.
And now the lightweights. John “Guns†Gunderson faced off against Bart Palaszewski. Palaszewski was hungry following a controversial loss against Chris Hordecki. Gunderson, entered the ring with a 1-0 IFL record. Immediately, the Silverback locked on a guillotine but was unable to secure it. Gunderson pushed Palaszewski to the corner, postured, and dropped bombs. Guns was frustrated with a failed armbar attempt but remained in the dominate position, escaping a weak triangle choke just before the bell. I’d give the first round to Gunderson.
“Fight League,†the rap IFL theme song produced by Jazze Fe and featuring the musical talents of Matt Lindland, Carlos Newton, Pat Miletich, and more, was debuted before the lightweight’s second round. I have to admit, as an IFL fan, I found it to be clever and entertaining. Newton can actually rap and Lindland sounded like a straight up farm boy but it worked.
Back to the lightweights: Round 2. Gunderson connected with a hard spinning back kick. After missing a high kick, Gunderson, landed another spinning back kick right to Palaszewski’s belly. Palaszewski stunned Gunderson with a right but did not follow up. The fight went to the canvas with Palaszewski on top but Gunderson rolled out. Palaszewski failed two guillotine attempts, allowing Gunderson into the third round. Throughout the second round, Palaszewski landed more strikes and appeared to cause slightly more damage than Gunderson. I would give the second round to Palaszewski.
Annette was up next on the ring girl tryouts. She probably won’t make the cut but Skelton told her she had thighs and was a real woman and shouldn’t be ashamed. Last but not least for the evening was Naomi. Oh my lanta! She looked like the dumb, big-boobed, chunky version of Yang from Grey’s Anatomy. Naomi will never be a doctor. However, she was trying to operate on Bas when she asked if she could kiss his sexy, beautiful, bald head. He allowed it but she pulled his head down into her copious breasts. Skelton called her the Asian Pamela Anderson. Jean hinted that Naomi was a bit on the, shall we say, exotic dancer side and all the judges agreed she was a little too “bouncy.†Jean couldn’t emphasize enough that Naomi was all about the “boobs, boobs, boobs.â€
Finally, we get to see round three of the lightweight battle. Early on, Gunderson got the takedown but was stuffed in most of his attempts to do anything with it. Palaszewski returned to his feet but Guns took it right back to the mat, again finding it nearly impossible to do much damage. Guns achieved side mount, attempting a couple of kimuras but couldn’t lock them in. Palaszewski dropped an illegal foot stomp at the bell. Despite Gunderson having clear control over the first round and most of the third round, and Palaszewski clearly committing a foul, the judges gave the split decision to Bart Palaszewski. I guess they felt sorry for him about his split decision loss to Hordecki. While Gunderson’s ground work wasn’t as damaging in the third round as it was in the first, he effectively maintained control which should have earned him the win. That’s just my opinion.
Next week: More ring girl auditions and the return of Dear Don.
