A Modest Response


All quiet on the Western front this week. It almost feels like the calm before a storm. We’re two weeks away from ROH in Philly and two weeks from the third One Night Stand, which bares no resemblance at all to the first two. What different paths Gabe Sapolsky and Paul Heyman have taken since the real ECW went under One guy lives the dream again and one guy had his dream turn into a nightmare.

News of Honor

ROH’s first Pay Per View will be different days depending on your cable provider

For what date is for which system, click here. This is a serious blow because without it all debuting together, much of the buzz will be diffused.

OnVH1’s “Reality Stars: Where are they now?” footage was aired of Nigel McGuinness beating up Survivor’s Jonny Fairplay

This is good exposure and there was actually quite a bit of ROH shown. This being VH1, it’s replayed fairly regularly, so check your listings.

Larry Sweeney is upset at Nigel, because Fairplay was his guest so in Philadelphia, Nigel will face a mystery opponent of Sweeney’s and at the second Pay Per View taping in Chicago, Nigel will face Sweeney

Nigel was heavily pushed at the first PPV, so Hero getting to face him at a PPV taping is a very good way to debut Hero on television and make him seem important. As for the mystery opponent- let the guessing begin. My pick? Gran Akuma. Eddie Kingston, Necro Butcher, or Super Dragon would also be quite awesome here. Is there anyone who wouldn’t be happy if Sweeney rebuilt the CZW Stable under his own brand?

Philadelphia will have a Main Event of Takeshi Morishima defending the ROH title against Roderick Strong

This is a heel vs. heel match, but Philly just cheers who they like anyway so it shouldn’t be a huge problem. This should be very hard hitting, although the title won’t be changing hands. There are many other big matches signed at events in the ROH Newswire. For my thoughts on each, check back the week of the shows for the full previews.

In Other News

Jeff Jarrett’s wife has passed away

Condolences go out to the Jarrett household.

Shawn Michaels is out until the end of the Summer after knee surgery

The WWE upper card is decimated with Lashley, Triple H, Michaels, The Undertaker and Kennedy all hurt. Hopefully someone new arrives at the main event level to replace some missing talent.

Vince Russo wanted Jimmy Rave

Rave doesn’t work in 3 minute matches, although he is a great heel. Thankfully he signed a ROH contract so TNA won’t be able to ruin him.

Morale is in the toilet in the undercard because they cannot work ROH, PWG and UWA dates

The biggest indies pay the best and they already had their hotel and car rental money revoked. The money might be better in TNA, but one is left to wonder if it truly covers everything lost in the larger indies and Japanese dates.

Lance Hoyt will be VKM’s protégé and then turn on them

I will yawn and continue to not care.

Bob Holly will be back in a month

See previous comment.

NWA World Title Tournament announced

My picks for the best chance to win, in order are Damien Wayne followed by Bryan Danielson. Wayne has been impressive and could be a touring champion in the vein of what was envisioned for Danielson before he signed his ROH contract. Try this for an update on the NWA titles and future NWA plans. Basically, the NWA badly wants to ape ROH’s successful model.

This Week on Pulse Wrestling

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More VS. this time with Blatt judging Kevin Wong vs. Gordi Whitelaw. I have a feeling Gordi is going to win this whole competition.

Andy Mac with the help of yours truly, ranks every champion in Ring of Honor history. It’s a good read and a good way to see who held important gold in the company.

I love Brashear, but he really needs to give the old WCW gimmicks a rest for a bit. They sucked for a reason.

Blatt continues to be an awesome writer and ECW continues to be a waste of his time.

Burnside answers questions while continuing to love me and ROH and regularly insulting both in his column. It’s okay Ian. You only push us away because you’re scared. Scared this might be real. Realer than your thing with Jarrett. Accept us Ian. Let Double J go.

Mark Allen has a good write-up about the Raw following Owen Hart’s death.

Kevin Wilson returns and endears himself to me by covering HUSTLE, a fairly young, quite fun Puro company.

Shawn Smith’s Broken Dial is the best Indy music site around, and it has free, new, good music. Go try it out.

I write a games column weekly on Wednesdays.

East of Gotham is my weekly comics review column, so read that too, weekly on Tuesdays.

Column of Honor: VS. Eric S vs. Shawn Smith– This is my favorite VS. ever. Eric’s answer the first question is amazing, as is Shawn’s to the last. Seriously, those two are must read. Oh! And that judge is sexy as all get out too but don’t tell him I said that.

As great as this VS was, both Eric and Shawn totally bombed on one question. That Question was “4. Who is the most dangerous man with a live mic?” Well, since neither could answer, I suppose I’ll take a crack at it, and even make it a top 5.

A Modest Response: The Top 5 Most Dangerous Men with a Live Mic Currently

5. Homicide – the Notorious 187, Homicide has perhaps the dirtiest mouth in wrestling. At no point does he actually stop cursing generally and it’s a miracle that he hasn’t let a curse out on a Pay Per View yet. He’s also high or drunk a high majority of the time, leading to further chance of incident. If you can find it, his Mega Powers promo with Samoa Joe is the perfect example of just how dangerous ‘Cide can be.

4. Rob Van Dam – RVD has never been known for his restraint, whether it be in the wrestling ring, with a certain illegal substance, or on the mic when he has something to say. At the first One Night Stand he spoke passionately about ECW and what it meant to him. He’s gotten into trouble for being too frank in interviews in the past as well. Well, RVD, one of the most popular superstars in the WWE is coming up on free agency and he has a lot of grievances to air. First, he lost his ECW title and shot at being the face of the company for a drug bust, when everyone knew he was on the drug to begin with. Next, he felt undercut and underpushed in the new ECW after the drug bust. He also decided the WWE during contract negotiations low-balled him. Lastly, his good friend Sabu was fired, immediately preceding RVD out of the WWE’s door. It’s a good thing for WWE that ECW is taped otherwise Rob, with a bit of chemical motivation, might publicly embarrass the company. Since ECW is taped and Rob is a good business man, nothing will likely happen immediately, but should Rob sign in TNA, RVD will likely give a whole new meaning to the word shoot.

3. Rowdy Roddy Piper- Roddy is among the best mic men in the business’s long and storied history. He’s carried more classic feuds with his mouth than most wrestlers have had period. Everyone from Hulk Hogan to Jimmy Snuka to Rick Rude to Bret Hart was elevated by this master speaker. Although Piper can spew bile with the best of them, it is his passionate speechmaking ability that makes him among the most dangerous men on the mic. His passion has lately been transferred to creating a wrestlers’ union. A dangerous business with no benefits, this union would allow wrestlers to unite and ensure fair pay for fair work. It’s a long shot, but with a passionate enough speech at the right time, that speech makes Piper the most dangerous man in the business to the established business with a live mic.

2. Samoa Joe- Joe is a surprisingly good speaker for a wrestler who is so rarely given promo time, at least in TNA. He’s smooth with a natural connection to the audience who absolutely love him. Joe also, unfortunately for himself, has a tendency to think without speaking. The audience, who are inclined to love Joe anyway, will take whatever anti-TNA sentiment Joe blurts out and run with it. For this reason, when Joe said he hurt his knee tripping over some TNA bad booking, TNA management was insulted. They knew the fans they were trying to please would run with it, although in their own retarded way they even made a bigger deal of it in punishing Joe for it. Due to all of this, Joe is among the most dangerous men on the mic- to his own career. I can’t wait for the post TNA Straight Shooting with Samoa Joe.

1. Paul Heyman – The most dangerous man to the WWE should anyone ever put a live mic near him again. Heyman is one of the best speakers in wrestling history. It can be argued that his passion and vision lighted the way for the most successful indy ever, ECW, and the most successful period ever, the Attitude Era. Eventually bad business decisions robbed Heyman of his dream of growing ECW further, but in time WWE offered him a chance to revisit their dream under their umbrella. Well, with the new ECW, we saw how that worked out. Heyman’s dream was pulled out from under him again. He was constantly second guessed and his dream was turned into pure Sports Entertainment, the type which he created ECW to originally escape. The always scathing Heyman must be fit to burst with absolute bile he would love to spew live on television. The closest we’ve ever gotten is his classic “One Night Stand Promo” and that was when he was happy. Imagine otherwise.
“”I want you to know that I’m not crying my eyes are red because I was in the back smoking a joint with Van Dam

I have a need in my heart to thank Tod Gordon for giving me the chance to be creative and book for you crazy bastards. I have a need to thank that man Ron Buffone and his partner Charlie Bruzzese for sticking with us and sitting in a TV Studio and building that TV show for you. You are the craziest bastards I have ever met in my life. I love every one of you.

And I was gonna take the high road and just say thank you and leave but I have something to say to you! (points to the WWE contingency in the balcony) You see, I’ve waited a long time to say this to you, Eric Bischoff, but in case you didn’t notice, it’s not Paul Heyman with his tail between his legs going to a WCW Pay Per View. You are in our house, bitch.

Oh wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute hide your wives it’s Edge! Now Edge, I know nobody with a written promo has the balls to say this to you, but I have two words for you: Matt freakin’ Hardy!

Well, with that, I almost forgot about you, Mr. Shoot Promo himself: bounced checks, ECW went out of business. Hey John, on a personal note, from all of us just to you, since you want to shoot cowboy, the only reason you were WWE Champion for a year is because Triple H didn’t want to work Tuesdays.

Now one more time for old times sakes right there so the whole world can see us this ain’t WCW this ain’t Monday Night RAW this ain’t SmackDown!…this ain’t even WWE this, my friends is E-C-F***ING-W!!”

That was on possibly his greatest night. That night was slowly dismantled by the WWE vision. What could Heyman do with a live mic now?

There you have it, the five most dangerous men with a live mic, each in a different way and for a different reason. Can I award myself the VS. point?

Stay tuned next week for full reviews of the top 25 Match of the Year Contenders of the half-year!

Glazer is a former senior editor at Pulse Wrestling and editor and reviewer at The Comics Nexus.