For those that have read my last two columns, you might have been expecting me to write this particular column on Under Siege. Well, I plan on getting to the film soon, incorporating it into my Die Hard celebration, which is forth coming. I’m sorry to disappoint those wanting to go ahead and read about the adventures of Casey Ryback, as chronologically, the movie was the next in the actor’s illustrious career and was the biggest hit he ever had. The film was to Seagal, what Delta Force was to Chuck Norris and what Terminator 2 was to Arnold. Thing is, the movie may have also been one of the worst things to happen to Steven Seagal.
“What?” you may ask, “but Under Siege is really the only bonafide good’ movie Seagal ever did!” That may be true, but you see, Under Siege was such a giant hit that Warner Brothers would do anything to get Steven Seagal in a sequel. Apparently “anything” would also include letting Steven Seagal not only star, but direct his next feature. That film would be On Deadly Ground, a movie that would not only cost $15 million more than Under Siege, but would end up making about $45 million less, ending up as Seagal’s first financial failure, and mark the beginning of the end of his career making big budget Action pictures.
On Deadly Ground Starring Steven Seagal and Michael Caine. Directed by Steven Seagal
In On Deadly Ground, Steven Seagal IS Forrest Taft, an environmental agent who works for the Aegis Oil Company in Alaska. He specializes in putting fires out and putting scumbags down when they mess with him, or even worse, mess with the Native Americans and Eskimos that live in the area or ruin the land that they live in. When Aegis’ evil CEO, Michael Jennings (Michael Caine) plans to open his new state-of-the art oil rig, AEGIS-1, with faulty equipment that would surely cause an ecological disaster, Taft must stop him no matter what the cost.
To be honest, if you’re looking for an absolutely ridiculous time watching an Action movie, laughing and yelling with your friends, On Deadly Ground is an easy recommendation. I can also recommend the movie to people that love hearing environmental messages in their pictures, but found that Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth didn’t have enough wrist snapping, knives through the head, or naked Eskimo women in it. Lastly, I recommend the movie to people that love speeches in their Action flicks, lots and lots of speeches.
Now you may be asking, “Isn’t this a Seagal picture? Aren’t there a ton of fights?” Actually, there is quite a lot of Action in On Deadly Ground. The movie features Seagal as a “One Man Army” once again, this time taking down dozens of henchmen and racist oil workers throughout the picture. And by take down, I mean kill horribly, as Seagal stabs one scumbag through the face, shoots bad guys with home made silencers, douses them in industrial strength hydrochloric acid, as well as blowing up villains using an array of weapons and explosives.
He also uses his most deadly weapon; himself. Seagal does well at staging physical confrontations in which he crushes his opponents, often targeting their genitals, as we keep hearing men in agony as they fall with lines like “my balls!” or “my nuts!” Sometimes this even seems to happen when the actor on screen isn’t moving his lips. At any rate, those only looking for the requisite amount of wrist snapping will be quite happy with On Deadly Ground
Also, the film features fine, epic cinematography by Ric Waite, the man who shot Seagal’s Marked for Death and Out for Justice, as well as Walter Hill’s buddy classic 48 Hours. The film makes great use of its Alaska locations, as well as the Oil Rig sets, which look like nightmare landscapes, such as those you would find in a dystopian Science Fiction film. This pretty much ends all that is really good about this film.
Now if you’re looking for the bad/awesome stuff contained within On Deadly Ground, there’s plenty to be had. First and foremost is the film’s baffling tendency to stop dead in its tracks in order to make some sort of speech, give some piece of philosophy, or just go bat-sh!t crazy. The first instance comes in the middle of a bar fight in which Taft is brutally decimating a bunch of racist oil workers. Then, all of a sudden, Seagal finally gets to the leader of the group (Mike Starr) and instead of just taking him out; he plays a hand slapping game. Now this is the very same game that Owen Wilson and Rachel McAdams play in Wedding Crashers, though I don’t think Wilson ever punched McAdams in the stomach when he won a round.
At any rate, Seagal pummels this guy every time he slaps the dude’s hands, and finally when you think he’s going to really give it to this guy (who deserves this ass kicking in every way) Seagal instead comes back with “What does it take to change the essence of a man?” To which this racist, bigoted scumbag, who was previously beating up a poor Native American, and probably went home and beat his wife, softly replies, “Time time to change.” Honestly, this could be the most insincere piece of philosophy I’ve ever seen in a movie. Here we have Seagal revving up his audience with a righteous pounding of these losers, and in the end we’re supposed to feel sorry for him? To make it worse, it kind of makes you feel bad for getting your bloodlust up for in the first place by watching Seagal stomp these guys into the ground.
Want more insanely baffling directorial moments in this film? Well, perhaps look to the musings of Billy Bob Thorton as inconsequential henchman Homer Carlton, as he ruminates on whether or not having the stock out on his machine gun makes him feel like a pussy. My favorite moment like this comes from Full Metal Jacket’s R. Lee Ermey as Stone, a major villain and a man you know will pose problems for Seagal, only to really get crushed like everyone else. At any rate, earlier in the movie we get the standard Seagal scene where the bad guys muse over Taft’s background. Apparently his file is so top secret that it’s not even marked top secret! (what?) Later on, Stone just won’t let it go. He’s got to have his own take on Taft’s history. So in the middle of the Aegis-1 battle we’re treated to this monologue from Emery.
My guy in D.C. tells me that we are not dealing with a student here, we’re dealing with the Professor. Any time the military has an operation that can’t fail, they call this guy in to train the troops, OK? He’s the kind of guy that would drink a gallon of gasoline so he could piss in your campfire! You could drop this guy off at the Arctic Circle wearing a pair of bikini underwear, without his toothbrush, and tomorrow afternoon he’s going to show up at your pool side with a million dollar smile and fist full of pesos. This guy’s a professional, you got me? If he reaches this rig, we’re all gonna be nothing but a big goddamned hole right in the middle of Alaska. So let’s go find him and kill him and get rid of the son of a bitch!
I will say that it’s tough to pick which scene in the film is its signature moment, but we can narrow it down to two scenes, the first being Seagal’s epic speech about the environment at the film’s close. Apparently this speech, even at its ridiculous length, was cut down from its original 11-minute running time, which caused theater patrons to walk out in preview screenings. While the speech would be fine if we were watching a documentary, there’s no accounting for why such a tedious monologue should be included after we’ve watched Seagal decimate a small army of villains.
Then again, the other scene is a dream sequence in the middle of the picture where Taft goes on a spiritual journey to learn how to defeat the Aegis Oil employed bad guys. For those who haven’t seen this sequence, imagine a scene featuring a half dozen naked Eskimo women dancing, while Seagal fights a bear. Then after getting thrown into a river, Seagal ends up at a crossroads with an old woman on one side and a stark naked hottie on the other. I’m sure the old woman ends up representing Mother Earth. The other woman represents the film’s predominantly male audience proclaiming this movie a masterpiece as we get to see Seagal in his first sex scene. Guess which one he chooses?
After all this, it seems almost too easy to pick apart the movie’s other shortcomings. Even if you can ignore the film’s stereotypical portrayal of Native Americans, who run the gamut of being stoic mystics to stumbling drunks, there’s still the movie’s paper thin excuse for villainy. I’m not sure how much they paid Michael Caine to portray Aegis CEO Michael Jennings, but all he does is yell a lot as he pollutes the environment at all costs. It’s laughable that film makers also sought Anthony Hopkins, Alan Rickman, and Jeremy Irons for the same role. Caine probably got the role when he agreed to dye his hair crude oil black.
I really could go on about this one, but I feel like I’ve already said too much. I was actually going to package this movie with Fire Down Bellow, but On Deadly Ground is so special in its awfulness that it took up a whole column by itself. So if you’re looking for a really great Action film to watch this weekend, then watch Raiders of the Lost Ark or perhaps Hot Fuzz is still playing a theater near you. If you’re looking for an environmentally friendly Action movie with one ridiculous moment after another and a gigantic Steven Seagal speech about pollution that closes the picture, then On Deadly Ground is definitely the way to go.
Picture Credits: seagal.mirrorz.com, impawards.com
