Mike Eagle is one of the Machine Gun Funk originals, submitting commentaries and reviews. He has stepped up and thinks he has the strength and tenacity to withstand the Hot Seat. Is he right? Let’s find out…
1) As you know, we always start out with geometry – what does it mean for two shapes to be congruent?
Mike Eagle: Wow, I tutor fifth graders so I thought I’d be prepared for this… Okay, I think it means they share an angle….
Hot Seat Judges: That is wrong; those fifth graders are in big trouble. 0 out of 1
2) The default song on your MySpace is listed as being part of the “Sucka Free Mix”. Does that mean that suckas were not involved in the creation of the mix, suckas are not allowed to listen to the mix, or both?
Mike Eagle: Unfortunately we could only cover the creation portion. If my calculations, countless suckas have heard the mix since its original pressing. if my calculations are correct that is.
Hot Seat Judges: How exactly does one calculate how many suckas have listened to a mix? 0 out of 2
3) WWE has seen an unprecedented amount of main event wrestlers going down to major injuries in the last few months, including HHH, HBK, The Undertaker and Booker T. Which 3 wrestlers not currently signed to WWE would you hire to replenish the main event scene?
Mike Eagle: I’m perfectly willing to take a dive on this question to express my personal opinion. First, I’d take Teddy Hart. He’d never main event for the “E” but he’s the most exciting guy that’s not on TV every week. Next, I’d pick up Samoa Joe and have him beat Umaga in a dance contest every week until Wrestlemania. I’d round it out with AJ Styles, cause he’s the world’s greatest metrosexual.
Hot Seat Judges: The judges don’t think you took a dive at all, those are three great choices that also are outside of Vince’s idea for main eventers, which is a bonus. 1 out of 3
4) Pepsi Co. owns both Taco Bell and KFC, two of the country’s top fast food restaurants that lately have been creating new dishes that mash together tons of items they already have on the menu. Using any or all of the provided ingredients from both establishments, create a new product for a combined Taco Bell/KFC complete with what you would call it: (a) nacho cheese, (b) Honey BBQ chicken strips, (c) refried beans, (d) biscuits, (e) mashed potatoes, (f) gravy, (g) pico de gallo, (h) taco meat, (i) corn, (j) tortilla chips
Mike Eagle: Okay, I’d take a honey glazed chicken wing and roll it around in pico de gallo. Then I’d roll up a gordita tortilla like a waffle cone and stick the chicken leg in the top of it so that if you held the chicken end it would look like a car vacuum. I’d call it a “Fernandez”.
Hot Seat Judges: That sounds like a winning entree in the same vein as KFC Famous Bowls and Taco Bell Crunchwrap supreme, but unfortunately, use of the gordita shells disqualifies the Fernandez from contention. 1 out of 4
5) And finally, in your Letters From FreakLoud, you provide perspective on hip-hop from an insider’s point of view. Can you give the Hot Seat a small verse extolling the virtues of Inside Pulse and Machine Gun Funk? Rhyming optional (but welcomed).
Mike Eagle: The pulse is very blessed/ Unlike Hyatte’s hairy chest/ writings the very best/ with drug tips by Eric S./
Since Aaron left/ My news postings barren theft/ has become quite apparent/ pieces short like a ferret’s neck
Hot Seat Judges: We’re gonna be totally honest and say that anything that rhymed was going to get the point, but the subject was appropriate and entertaining as well. 2 out of 5
After Eric S raised the bar last week with a stunning 4 out of 5, the Hot Seat was back to its scorching ways, keeping Open Mike Eagle at bay with a decent 2. You can catch up with Mike in Machine Gun Funk.
Next week we have another music zone staffer – Broken Dial’s Greg Wind!
2007 Hot Seat Results
Friday May 25 – Mike Eagle – 2 out of 5
Friday May 18 – Eric S – 4 out of 5
Friday May 11 – Steve Murray – 2 out of 5
Friday May 4 – Danny Cox – 2 out of 5
Friday March 2 – Kevin Wong – 0 out of 5
Friday February 23 – Scott “Kubryk” Sawitz – 3 out of 5
Friday February 16 – Gordi Whitelaw – 3 out of 5
Friday February 2 – Shawn M Smith – 1 out of 5