The Hot Seat: Gregory Wind

Broken Dial is the indie hangout for Inside Pulse music fans looking for something not on the radio. Gregory Wind is a Broken Dial stalwart, and has come out from his grungy surroundings and right into the fiery pits of the Hot Seat Throne.

He might have heard of next month’s it-band three years before you did, but will have have the dexterity to outwit the Hot Seat?

1) As you know, we always start out with geometry – what is the formula for the volume of a cone with radius r and height h?

Gregory Wind: V = (1/3) ( pi ) r^2 h

Hot Seat Judges: this is correct. The judges suspect you googled this, but since that is unverifiable, you get the point. 1 out of 1

2) As a resident of Inside Pulse’s indie music zone – Broken Dial surely you have an opinion on this subject – Bjork: yay or nay?

Gregory Wind: Nay today. At one point she was the baby devil with the big eyes we wanted to care for. Baby devils grow up. The cuteness fades. It’s a tragic tale. I applaud her courage to continue to be a unique voice, and she still has tremendous talent, but the schtick doesn’t work anymore.

Hot Seat Judges: You had us until “tremendous talent” and we just can’t agree. 1 out of 2

3) Bobby Lashley has inexplicably been pushed to the moon despite showing no signs of progress in workrate or promo work. Is Bobby Lashley the worst WWE main eventer ever? In 50 words or less, discuss why or why not.

Gregory Wind: As you know, I am not a follower of wrestling, but in the name of not letting 50 words go wasted:

There are occasionally stars that rise in any venue or format that get greater airtime than they deserve. Fiona Apple comes to mind. I wish Bobby the best but expect he is being exploited. Even the weak willed need to get off that teat before there is no turning back.

Hot Seat Judges: Yes but if you’re comparing Bobby Lashley and Fiona Apple, you are leaving out the Apple video for “Criminal” which might be the Hot Seat’s all time favorite video 1 out of 3

4) Jelly Belly makes several dozen different flavors of gourmet jelly beans. Which of the following is NOT an official Jelly Belly flavor – a) Jalapeno b) A&W Root Beer c) Zesty Papaya d) Strawberry Daiquiri e) Crushed Pineapple

Gregory Wind: I will go with Zesty Papaya as papaya, while faux exotic and certainly tasty, is not zesty. Jelly Belly is far better at marketing than to chose such a fallacious adjective.

Hot Seat Judges: This is correct, although the Hot Seat does not appreciate your criticism of the witty name we came up with for the fake flavor 2 out of 4

5) And finally, in a mythical 2 day festival that presents all of these artists in their prime (equally divided between day 1 and day 2), what order would you have them take the stage each night and why? a) Bob Dylan b) Pearl Jam c) The Ramones d) Radiohead e) Bon Jovi f) Nirvana g) The Smiths h)The Doors i) U2 j) Led Zeppelin

Gregory Wind: Day 1: The Smiths, The Doors, Radiohead, Bob Dylan, U2
Day 2: Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Led Zeppelin, The Ramones, Bon Jovi

We’re building to a catharsis on day 1. The Smiths are a little fey and dramatic, and let’s face it — while I love the Smiths at their peak — they are a far easier band to follow than the others. The Doors take things in a more mystical direction, but also add more aural drama. Radiohead adds the paranoia and over all creepyness. Bob Dylan can bring poetry back in to soothe the crowd setting up the band that, at its peak, could be near religious if not outright pentecostal. You leave uplifted and ready for another day.

Day two is the rock show. The goal is to leave nothing at the finish line. Pearl Jam is a great live band and can play at any pace. They can rate and still provide enough punch to leave you wanting more. Nirvana comes in and turns it up a bit in terms of emotion and noise. Zeppelin, with Bonham, destroys the set, with the crowd heaving on every beat. (They play only rockers — none of the mopey Tolkien stuff. “Ramble On” still send the crowd to ecstatic heights, but the rest stays in the tour bus. The movie series has exposed all of that material as a bit tame.) The Ramones takes every ounce of blood, sweat and tears left out of the audience, at which point Ren and Stimpy could come on stage singing the Macarena — Bon Jovi will do just fine. Everyone is beyond the point where they will pretend they don’t know the words to “Dead or Alive,” anyway. The crowd walks, no, limps from the stage believing Bon Jovi is the best band they have ever seen.

Hot Seat Judges: Comprehensive and well thought out. Beyond the scope of the normal answer, but the Judges allowed extended time and it paid off. Bravo 3 out of 5

The questions weren’t easy, but Wind came through on top, getting more than a majority of the answers and slotting himself second in 2007 on the Hot Seat big board. Now that you’ve seen him come out of the Hot Seat with only minor burns, check out his full Broken Dial archive including the Tuesday Triple Play, Beating the Drum and Between the Notes.

2007 Hot Seat Results
Friday June 1 – Greg Wind – 3 out of 5
Friday May 25 – Mike Eagle – 2 out of 5
Friday May 18 – Eric S – 4 out of 5
Friday May 11 – Steve Murray – 2 out of 5
Friday May 4 – Danny Cox – 2 out of 5
Friday March 2 – Kevin Wong – 0 out of 5
Friday February 23 – Scott “Kubryk” Sawitz – 3 out of 5
Friday February 16 – Gordi Whitelaw – 3 out of 5
Friday February 2 – Shawn M Smith – 1 out of 5