Pardon The Pulse

Bonjour everyone and welcome to our little weekly dealie-o that we put together for you. First and foremost let me tell you that the world of sports continues to be in a big huge ass lull because the NHL Finals are going on and the Ducks are keeping my hope alive that they can win the Cup. Second of all, the NBA is about to wrap up it’s season as it had the Spurs, Jazz, Cavs, and Pistons in their “Teams No-One Could Give A Shit About” Final Four. And last but not least, baseball is in the only the second sixteenth of it’s season so nothing to get excited about just yet.

Football is still three damn months away, yes I know!

But we do have things to talk about and I am joined again by my dear friends Paulie (who is running mad with power in the forums I tell you) and Chucklebutt CJ. Don’t let Paulie drive you away though; the forums are still a great place to hang out all day. He’s only got power until Ellie comes back from her wedding shenanigans at which point we may start hearing more from Matt. Matt…you know, look at the picture. I’m on the left and Paulie is all awkwardly in the middle. He’s not the rabbit thing…the other guy on the right. Matt.

Anyways…let’s get into this shall we? So ladies and germs, please if you will…

1.) Toughest Athlete In Sports’ History Poll Winner – Lance Armstrong

Paulie: Mock mock mock mock mock. Mock me now biatches! The majority of our 10 readers agreed with me that, not only is cycling a sport, but Lance is the toughest sumbitch out there. Go Lance! Go Lance! Get busy! It’s naturaltestosterone!

Charles Joseph: I’d believe these results more if I didn’t know Paulie had access to a half dozen computers and who knows how many times he voted for lance. 4 probably. My Picks were destroyed; did any of mine get more than one? Tis a sad day.

Danny: Ok so Lance Armstrong won. I can give him some credit for coming back from cancer and still having all the energy imaginable to go back into cycling and do what he did. But I wouldn’t really consider it tough but more so determined. I mean I’ve known many cancer survivors and just how difficult it can be for them to even get back to a normal life, but I don’t see much toughness in One Nut. But congratulations to you.

2.) Poll Results – Our Choices And How They Fared

Danny: Ok so Larry Bird and Kurt Angle came in the middle of the pack, but I must say that John Lynch did better then I expected him to do. I know the bastard is tough as nails, but I’m glad to see that others think so too. But hey, four of the votes that could have gone to any of our choices went to the “other” category, but it could have been more considering the number of extra names we had thrown our way. One thing I do have to say that pleased me is that not a single person voted for thug-life A.I. You see what that means don’t you? It means that not even CJ voted for his own pick…BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Paulie: LANCE WINS! LANCE WINS! LANCE WINS! I was a little disappointed that Laimbeer didn’t get more votes. Hell, I’m disappointed that there weren’t more votes period. Maybe next time we should do “Who’s got the best tits in the sports world?” Of course, at this point I think Milka Duno would win for me on that. But that’s beside the point. LANCE WINS!

Charles Joseph: My choices were destroyed. That is all. I’m surprised Captain Canada didn’t get more votes, I figured out Canadian contingent would have pushed for him harder. Oh well.

3.) The “Other” Choices – Ron Artest, Mick Foley, Brett Favre, Cal Ripken, Barry Bonds, Lou Gehrig, Bert Trautmann, Dion Dublin, Shun, Fujimoto, Gordie Howe, Meng, Jack Youngblood, Michael Jordan, Sid Vicious – Deserving?

Charles Joseph: If I would have done all time hockey players, Gordie Howe would have been my choice, so I like that pick. Brett Farve has been a staple behind center for the last forty years so I like that pick too. Ripken’s streak was amazing and I think he’s valid choice for toughest athlete, but I think you have to look at his streak with a bit of a critical eye. Going out there night after night, steroids really would have helped him overcome some of the minor bumps and bruises that playing the game day after day brings about. He was probably a pretty regular user of greenies too. “Oh NOES, he talked bad about Cal Ripken” oops. Barry Bonds is barred from my list due to the fact he wears and f*cking tank on his elbow so he can hang that elbow over the middle of the plate without having to worry. Foley is another dancer, Artest is more of a thug than AI. Gerhrig, while a great player, has the benefit of nostalgia. Who the hell is Bert Trautmann? Oh, soccer playing with a broken neck, yeah, that takes balls. They are all deserving, but some less than others. But of that list, Howe would be the one I’d add to our lists.

Danny: Ok so a lot of the ones given to us by you, the fans, certainly deserve to be considered as the toughest athlete in sport’s history. But hey, we made our own choices and we can’t be expected to remember everyone. Gordie Howe and Cal Ripken are by far the most deserving of recognition as being tough though out of all suggested. “The streak” was just phenomenal by any sport’s standards so I believe that Ripken has something I won’t see broken in my lifetime. Not only did he have the endurance to play for so long, but he knew what to do in order to keep himself healthy while also being productive on the diamond. Howe on the other hand was insane and by far one of the toughest hockey players known to man. Simple enough, he always will be “Mr. Hockey” and deserves credit for everything he ever did while donning a pair of skates.

Paulie: Soccer dudes… don’t know them. Can’t say. Baseball dudes… not tough. Any sport where you go on the DL for 15 days for a hang nail does not get to have tough dudes play. Ripken gets credit for not being a crybaby pussy, but not for being tough. Jordan? Great player, don’t know that I’d classify him as “tough” though. But, of course, THEMONSTERMENG gets to be on the list. I can’t believe I forgot THEMONSTERMENG!

4.) Indy 500

Paulie: Miiiilka Duno…. Mmmm… give me a minute, I’ll be back.

Wait… they already had the race? Damn, I was busy this weekend being sick, taking the dog to the emergency room, and finding out I’m gonna be a daddy for the second time. I missed it. Lemme look… random name I can’t pronounce won in a rain shortened race. Stupid rain. Stupid name I can’t pronounce. Mmmm… Milka.

Charles Joseph: Start stop start stop start stop. The race should have been called at the first stoppage. But they kept racing and Franchitti was in the lead when they finally called it. Danica finished back in the pack, and I thought IRL had rain tires they could put on the cars. That would have made the race much better, have them run through the rainfall.

Danny: All I have to say is…I believe I chose the winner yes? Oh that’s right I did!

5.) Kobe Requesting Trade

Charles Joseph: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!! Trade him to Minnesota. KG and Kobe and we’d be relevant again. I don’t care who we have to give up. McCants, James, Davis, and our 7 for Kobe. Do it. Do IT. I don’t really know why Kobe wants to be traded; they’ve got a couple young guys who should be starting to come into their own. Bynum and Parker are ready for breakout years and Kobe, if he stayed could be the leader leading a young team back to prominence. But here’s hoping he gets sent to Minny.

Danny: CJ’s so funny! He’d do anything to get his team to get better even though Kobe is a poison, but seems CJ has a fondness for the poisons in the locker rooms. In case anyone remembers, Kobe was actually drafted by the Charlotte (now New Orleans) Hornets and quickly traded to the Lakers for Vlade Divac. Now I love Vlade, but that was just a dumb ass trade even though we didn’t know how good Kobe would be. But none the less, Black Mamba wants a way out of L.A. due to the “mess” that the front office seems to be. I guess 74-year old Lakers owner Jerry Buss being arrested on suspicion of DUI doesn’t help much either!

Thing is…the mere thought of seeing Kobe Bryant in the backcourt with Chris Paul dishing to Tyson Chandler, David West, and Peja Stojakovic? Holy hell that just screams instant NBA hard-on.

Care to see though if your team can even possibly pull off a deal for Kobe? Well check out ESPN’s Trade Machine.

Paulie: Danny, I think you’ve lost it, you mentioned something about Kobe dishing the ball to someone. You’re obviously thinking of someone else. CJ, he’s not going to Minny unless KG is part of the trade. The Lakers will probably ask for at least two starters in return for Kobe. I say, let him go rot in Atlanta. I remember the night Charlotte drafted him. I also remember being so happy that they traded him right away, I didn’t know why I was happy at the time, but I figured it out pretty quickly.

PEE-YOMPS (pimps)

Speaking of DVD reviews, head over to The DVD Lounge where there are a lot of good people watching a lot of crap so you don’t have to. And for a person who has over 1300 DVDs and watches every movie imaginable, Travis really finds some things that even I have never heard of.

Popcorn Junkies is a place you really need to go check out as well because there are great people like Caroline, Ping, Michaelangelo, Kubryk, and more bringing you news and movie reviews at all hours of the night and day.

Pulse Wrestling – the main reason we are all here in the first place. For without it, I don’t think you’d be reading anything from any of us.

It’s hard to choose one thing to read over at Moodspins, so you may as well hang out a while and check them all out. Myself, Nick Rafter, Will Cooling, Olya Orlova, Melissa Montemale and a whole list of others bring you the wonderful world of people and politics everyday.

Props to James Hatton and the entire Rabble as “Happy Anniversary” is in order for the 52nd episode of the Rabblecast!

We got nothing else for you this week and I do believe we will return to regular format next week unless there really is so little to talk about again. But hey, we still are an interesting read even if CJ is drooling over thugs.

We welcome any comments, suggestions, thoughts, or ideas in our e-mail boxes or here in the forums. Ewwww no that box Paulie…PUT IT AWAY!!! Dude, why do you have that genitalia anyway? Never mind, don’t answer that!

Ok everyone…have a great weekend and as always, be excellent to each other.

Tags: , , ,