Alright, I don’t think McMahon’s dead, he faked his own death to get people to appreciate him more. Now that I got that out of the way, let’s talk about a wrestling show. Entertaining the idea that Vince Mcmahon is dead is idiotic. Even WWE.com was playing this thing up. The WWE is a publicly traded company, there would be a whole hell of a lot more press on this if it were true.
So what else happened? I got my wish. Bobby Lashley is no longer the champion and no longer on the show. The title is vacated and we’re gonna find out what’s going on about it tonight, hopefully. Perhaps we’ll even see ECW get a GM. In other news, despite how good Chris Benoit is, he’s never going to be as good as Lashley is because in his last match as ECW champion, he beat the new guy on the roster. That new guy was Chris Benoit. Speaking of the new guy, ECW gets the Boogeyman! Why not just draft some toast instead? They have the same ability in the ring. The odds are 3:2 that the Boogeyman interrupts Extreme Expose tonight. I’m gonna miss SNITSKY.
And the show starts…
So the show actually started with a talk about Vince’s “death” and a recap from last night. I hate this angle so much. This is about one man’s ego. It’s amazing that Vince can book his own “death” and then make his contracted talent mourn him while he directs them to do so. How much air time can this guy take up? Loads. They’re not even recapping, they’re showing the show the whole thing again. As if it wasn’t long and drawn out enough the first time, it’s brutal the second time.
What’s going to be painful is when we find out that ECW’s rating spiked because of this garbage. Then the WWE office will get the idea that this kinda crap is okay. This isn’t the RAW Rewind, it is its own damn brand of the WWE.
It’s 10:08 and the show hasn’t really started yet. Joey and Tazz say that there will be more footage shown and tonight will be a series of matches dedicated to Vince’s memory. Then they disgrace every bell ringing they’ve ever had on the show with the bell tolling on TV. The live crowd is shitting all over it, and for good reason. The Philly crowd isn’t going to stand for this crap and I applaud them for it. Fade to black on the angry crowd.
The moment I see someone wearing an armband, I’m gonna be pissed. At least we’re gonna get some rasslin tonight, right?
Tommy Dreamer over Balls Mahoney by DDT on a chair
Nice matchup if you’re gonna have a fluff show. Tommy starts off with some wrestling, bad idea as Balls goes into the punches quick. Dreamer blocks the last one in favor of some of his own punches, which ends in a suplex by Balls. Balls goes for a leg whip, but Dreamer ducks and Balls goes outside.
Tommy introduces Balls to the announce table and then pulls out a garbage pail and the kitchen sink. Dreamer goes for the sink once but Balls ducks, but the second one hits. Balls gets up and sends Dreamer into the stairs and Balls goes for the weapons. Another trash can and a trash lid. Both men make their way into the ring and Dreamer takes a few shows with the trash lid. If this night is a proper tribute to Vince, all the matches would end with outside interference, weapons, family members and retired wrestlers making the save.
Back to the action, Tommy hits Balls with the trash can a few times. Dreamer goes outside for a chair and sets it up in the middle of the ring. Tommy goes for a suplex over the chair, but it’s blocked and instead Dreamer gets drop toe held into the chair, which was ass side down and legs up.
Balls goes for a moonsault, but is cut short and Dreamer puts him into the Tree of Woe, and gets the trash can drop kicked into his face. The announcers are talking about how this is the best tribute to McMahon. You mean having matches with wrestlers he hated in a style that he hated is a fitting tribute? When I die, make sure that Nazi’s march across my front lawn. That’s my tribute according to their standards. More garbage can shots to Dreamer and Balls has a table in the ring. Dreamer is lying face down on the table and Balls goes for a leg drop and misses, going through the table. Dreamer drops Balls with a DDT for the win.
Looks like the main event is gonna be Punk and Benoit vs. the New Breed, but before then, it’s the Boogeyman! BOOGEYMAN=RATINGS!
Here’s an example of if the world takes this whole Vince angle seriously. The WWE stock dropped a QUARTER today. Not a 25% drop, but a $0.25 drop.
The Boogeyman over Matt Striker by Sportz Entertainment
So they send out Striker to job to the Boogeyman? I don’t normally give star ratings, but I feel confident about this one. DUD. Post match Striker gets a mouthful of worms. Poor Striker.
For those of you who never watched Smackdown and haven’t seen a Boogeyman match before, what you just saw was the height of his wrestling ability.
Okay, so now we get the “after RAW went off the air” footage. What I don’t get is that if this footage was really exclusive to WWE.com, wouldn’t it not be on television. If footage of firefighters putting out a fire interests you, then the WWE has some footage for you! If you tuned in to see a wrestling show, then I’ve got some bad news. This whole scene has taken up fifteen minutes of the show. Joey and Tazz lament some more before saying that the main event is up next.
How tasteful of the WWE to have a promo for the “Do or Die” match back to back with the Vince “death” footage.
Elijah Burke and Marcus Cor Von vs. Chris Benoit and CM Punk
How do I know they’re killing time? All four guys get their entrances. CM Punk and MCV start it out. Collar and elbow to start, Punk gets a headlock, MCV attempts to fight out but is taken over still with Punk’s headlock. ON the ground, MCV turns Punk for a one count. MCV fights up and nearly gets out with a few punches before Punk throws some knees and goes behind MCV with a hammer lock. MCV ducks under and puts a headlock on Punk. Punk fights out with an elbow and throws MCV to the ropes. MCV over powers punch with a shoulder block and taunts Punk to get up. Punk gets up and both men stare down.
Another collar and elbow and Punk drags MCV over and we’ve got another stare down. MCV goes for a kick while Punk goes for another lockup. MCV wins. MCV has Punk’s head and tags out to Burke. MCV clubs Punk’s back and opens Punk up to a punch in the ribs by Burke. Punk comes back with some punches, but gets kneed in the face and gets a two. TWO!
Both men are up and Burke gets a hammer lock on Punk. Punk reverses it and throws Burke over, holding an arm bar. Some short shoulders and followed by a tag to Benoit. Burke backs off while Benoit is…. Benoit. Benoit punches a bit, then whips Burke to the ropes and nails a clothesline. Benoit hits a snap suplex for two. TWO!
MCV is tagged in and MCV hits some punches, Benoit gets a chop in, but is thrown to the ropes by MCV and attacks on his way back capitalizing on MCV going for a back body drop. Benoit gets some punches and chops in in the corner before MCV fights out and turns the tables on Benoit. MCV takes him out of the corner and ships him into the ropes, but with the same result as before. Benoit tags in Punk.
Punk come sin with a springboard clothesline and follows it with some quick kicks. Punk sends MCV into the corner and hits the knee lift. The bulldog is blocked, but Punk hits a running kick to send MCV out of the ring. Behind Punk’s back Burke comes in, but is cut off by a Benoit clothesline. A FIERCE Benoit clothesline. This leaves the faces in the ring and we go to commercial.
We’re back and Punk gets a jawbreaker to break up a headlock by Burke. Burke hits an elbow on Punk’s head and follows it up with some more elbows. Burke stares down Benoit and goes back to Punk. MCV is tagged in and goes to work with some forearms on Punk’s back in the heel corner. MCV pulls Punk to the ring and hits some punches as Punk is on his knees in the middle of the ring. MCV can only get a two. TWO!
Punk is whipped to the heel corner and is charged by MCV, who tags in Burke. Punk comes back or a clothesline on Burke, but is knocked down quick and hits some forearms to Punks head from above him. MCV is tagged in as Punk is hurtin. MCV throws Punk into the corner, but Punk reverses and goes for ten punches in the corner. That’s ended quick by MCV with a powerbomb, but that only gets a two. TWO!
Punk gets catapulted into the corner and then stomped by MCV. MCV goes for something, but Punk gets an inside cradle for two. TWO!
Punk goes to tag Benoit, but MCV hits Benoit, who charges into the ring and distracts Brad Armstrong for a moment. MCV tags Burke. Who whips Punk into MCV, who dumps him in the corner. The ref signals for the bell? What the hell?
How did I say a fitting tribute to Vince would go? Shoddy endings? There you have it. It would have been a little more fitting if it was a handicapped match or involved God as a tag team partner, but I suppose that’d be overkill for one match, right?
Benoit comes in and it’s BONZO GONZO. Punk hits an enzguiri on MCV and Benoit hits the Germans on Burke, followed by the flying headbutt and the Sharpshooter. Burke taps out, but the match was already over. There’s no explanation given as to why, but Joey clarifies that it’s because MCV was in the ring past the five count. Everyone stares everyone else down, and we’re pulled back to RAW for some reason to watch Mr. McMahon die once more.
If you want to watch it frame for frame, you can see the edit when Vince closes the door. There was no plastic shield in front of the camera in the before shot and it suddenly appears in the after shot. Not that anyone believes that Vince is dead. Because he’s not.
The show ends the exact same way that RAW did. Crappy.