The Most Ridiculous Item of the Week – 6.15.07

While appearing on British television show 24 Hours With…, singer Bobby Brown told host Jamie Campbell that still lives every day in fear that Osama bin Laden will find some way to kill him. Seriously. No, seriously. I can’t make this stuff up, folks.

Last year, Sudanese writer Kola Boof, who was allegedly one of bin Laden’s “sex slaves”, revealed in her book, Diary of a Lost Girl, that the al-Qaeda mastermind liked watching MacGyver, reading Playboy and had an unheathy obsession with Brown’s then-wife Whitney Houston.

A passage from the book reads:

[Osama bin Laden] said that he had a paramount desire for Whitney Houston, and although he claimed music was evil he spoke of someday spending vast amounts of money to go to America and try to arrange a meeting with the superstar. … Whitney Houston’s name was the one that [he mentioned] constantly. … How beautiful she was, what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband Bobby Brown, whom Osama talked about having killed, as if it were normal to have women’s husbands killed.

While everyone else in the world is no doubt laughing hysterically at this—both because it sounds so ludicrously false and also because if it were possibly true it would still be hilarious—Brown admitted that even though he’s been divorced from Houston since last year, he still fears for his life. “Osama bin Laden wanted me dead,” he said. “He was in love with Whitney. He wanted to make her one of his wives. I feared for my life. I’m still on my guard. The most wanted man in the world wants you dead.”

I, for one, would be really flattered. It’s one thing to be a general part of the American infidel or Zionist devil population, but to actually be mentioned by name… one must admit that that’s pretty hardcore.

And that gets me thinking… Why don’t we just drop Bobby Brown into Waziristan—the mountainous region in northwest Pakistan on the Afghanistan border where bin Laden is suspected to be hiding—and just wait for bin Laden to come out to try and kill him? Not only do we catch bin Laden, but maybe Bobby Brown gets hurt or killed in the process. And if he doesn’t get killed, he ends up being a national hero. Knowing the guy’s ego, he’d probably be all for it. Waziristan gets renamed Bobbybrownistan, statues of Bobby Brown get erected all over the world and he even might beat Barack Obama to become the first black president. Hey, it’d still be an improvement over Bush.