The SmackDown Report

Sorry for yet another late report. Headaches do not inspire good work ethic.

Its Cutting Edge time to start the show. It’s a Memorial Service for Vince McMahon on next week’s RAW (I wonder what those ads will look like during Vengeance), and Edge brings up the question of who did it? Edge introduces Torrie Wilson, complete with pearl necklace entrance video – can you believe I had to explain that to some of my friends? Edge says that Torrie is the person that people would least suspect and asks if Torrie Wilson did it – bringing up the heated confrontation between her, Flair, and McMahon. Interesting. And that Wilson seduced McMahon when she first entered the WWE. Edge talks down to her, which of course brings out our United States Champion (grey isn’t his color, there’s your weekly fashion related comment), Montel Vontavious Porter. Porter says he can’t call people liars without proof; Porter apologizes to Wilson and says that Edge is pretty much caught in the moment, but then begins yelling at her too! This brings out North Carolina’s own, Ric Flair. Flair attacks Edge and Porter but, being it one against two, the heels get the advantage until Batista saves Flair.


Theodore Long and Vickie Guerrero are backstage talking about something – maybe they’re talking about rice crackers? Either way, Cole says they’ve booked MVP and Edge against Batista and Flair tonight. And they couldn’t have said it because they were too busy talking about rice crackers.

Opening Contest: Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore vs. Chavo Guerrero and JAMIE NOBLE!
Nice to see Noble and Moore wrestling in two straight weeks, this is their equivalent of main eventing WrestleMania. Moore and Noble start with some nice wrestling; Noble gets hit with a hip toss by Moore, but Noble shorting tags out to Guerrero. Moore with an arm drag to Guerrero. Guerrero runs into a dropkick which gets Moore a one count. Yang in but Guerrero quickly exits the ring and tags out to Noble. Yang gets a hurricanrana on Noble and after Guerrero distracts Yang, Noble hits an arm breaker. Guerrero in with a side suplex for a two count over Yang. Guerrero works the arm but Yang fights out and comes off the ropes into a drop toe hold. Noble tagged in and he continues working the arm; Yang gets a snapmare but Noble trips Yang and tags Guerrero in, who comes in with a body press over the top rope. Yang sends Guerrero into the corner and Yang charges, but Guerrero moves and Yang hits the steel post shoulder first. Noble tagged in, comes off the top rope into an atomic drop! Guerrero tagged in, and Moore is tagged in! Moore with a crossbody of the second rope and flapjacks Guerrero face first onto the top rope. Nice corkscrew senton on Guerrero by Moore. Gory Bomb on Moore by Guerrero ends it.
Winners: Chavo Guerrero and Jamie Noble

Good match and the fans dug it too. I’d love to see Moore and Noble get more screen time next week, and I’m really going to enjoy the Cruiser Weight Championship Match at Vengeance. Four out of Ten.


Second Contest: Funaki vs. Mark Henry
Funaki surprisingly gets some offence in, but Henry gets Funaki with a Military Press – Funaki falls behind Henry but gets knocked down. Henry steps on his foot to stop Funaki from leaving the ring (interesting considering they usually go for the tights). Henry with a loud scoop slam, and a quieter one follows. Bearhug gets Henry the victory.
Winner: Mark Henry

Kind of interesting because of Funaki’s melodramatic abilities. -Three out of Ten.

Cole and JBL bring in a video recapping the last week or so. WHY the hell did they over produce this video? Surely videos like this should be done simply without trying to be too melodramatic?

Commercials. I do love the advertisement for Vengeance.

Vickie Guerrero has just organized everyone’s travel for RAW, and Long says tonight will be a night he won’t ever forget. Long tells Marshall he’s going to do something important in the ring after the following match, and wants her there.

Third Contest: Matt Hardy vs. Finlay
Lock up and Hardy forces Finlay into the corner. Another lock up and Finlay this time forces Hardy there but Hardy reverses it. Lock up and Hardy works the arm of Finlay but Finlay elbows Hardy off. Finlay with a headlock, gets sent into the ropes and back with a shoulder for a one count. Another headlock by Finlay but Hardy goes after the arm again. Finlay with spears in the corner. Finlay goes for an implant DDT but Hardy trips Finlay and gets some punches in. Hardy with a headlock takedown, back to their feet and Finlay turns it into a back drop for a pinfall attempt. Finlay with a headlock but Hardy punches Finlay off only to turn into a big clothesline. Finlay reapplies the headlock but Hardy sends him into the corner for the clothesline bulldog combo, getting Hardy a two count. Hardy resumes working the arm of Finlay but Finlay gets to the ropes. Hardy slams Finlay face first into the turnbuckle and kicks him to the outside; Hardy off the ropes but misses a baseball slide attempt. Hornswoggle grabs the foot of Hardy but Hardy stomps on Finlay’s hand and turns into a clothesline by Hardy!


Finlay has Hardy in an almighty headlock! Hardy with offence to Finlay, elbow drop gets Hardy a two count. Finlay drags Hardy down using the hair for a one count. Finlay with an uppercut to Hardy. Scoop slam by Finlay, who goes up for a gut drop from the second rope but Hardy gets his knees up. Hardy goes to go up the turnbuckles but Finlay sends him back down to the canvas. Finlay works the knee and gets in a single legged Boston Crab variation. Hardy kicks Finlay away but Finlay resumes working the knee with the single legged Boston Crab. Finlay with an elbow right to the knee of Hardy, before locking in a nice submission hold on Hardy. Hardy begins hitting the knee of Finlay, so Finlay releases the hold and gets a knee drop to Hardy’s head before throwing Hardy outside. Finlay pushes Hardy knee first into the steel steps. Back in the ring, Hardy gets a surprising clothesline to Finlay but Finlay keeps the upper hand – removing the knee brace off of Hardy. Finlay drops all his weight on Hardy’s leg before getting in an Indian deathlock. Hardy with punches to Finlay, releasing the hold.

Finlay runs into a high boot by Hardy in the corner. Finlay goes for a right but Hardy turns it into a side effect for a two count! Finlay spears Hardy into the corner; Hardy elbows Finlay and goes up top with an elbow to the back of Finlay’s neck. Hornswoggle distracts the referee, allowing Finlay to hit Hardy’s knee with the shillelagh! Finlay goes to capitalize – Twist of Fate! Hardy covers for the three count!
Winner: Matt Hardy

Very good match and I loved that ending. Seven out of Ten.

Stephanie McMahon’s speech from RAW. Why didn’t she keep the blonde? She was blonde once upon a time, right? Or am I just imagining that?


Video for the Majors Brothers. Hey, lose one twink team and gain another, only this time I need to figure out which one is which. I hope they’re good wrestlers, too.

Theodore Long and Kristal Marshall come on out. Long story short, Long loves Marshall and Long proposes to her! BAD acting by Marshall here, but she accepts none the less … wait, no, she doesn’t. She leaves the ring! Okay, I didn’t see that coming. That acting was just painful to watch, however.


We get an obligatory recap of Marshall’s bad acting, and they even mention the fact that she turned down Long too. During the commercial break, Long ran backstage. Sucks for him.

Still to come: Ric Flair and Batista vs. Montel Vontavious Porter and Edge.

Fourth Contest: Chris Masters vs. Jobber Cannon Fodder
Masters dominates a long and very drawn out squash. Highlights include: spinebuster and Masterlock.
Winner: Chris Masters

Put Masters in the ring against the likes of Finlay and he could end up being quite interesting – not only to see how far Finlay carries him, but also to see how good the match ends up being. -Two out of Ten. For a Masters match, you could have worse.

In memory of Sensational Sherri. Can’t believe she died, but I’ve only seen her Hall of Fame speech.


Marshall has locked herself in a bathroom or something, and is still acting badly. Long apologizes for doing it in public, Marshall asks to see the ring again (and upon assuming its worth), accepts his marriage proposal.

Cole and JBL run down the Vengeance card – well, just the two big titles, ECW, and United States.

Daniel Beck, the hired actor, says that there is another well known personality’s DNA. It was the Angel of Death, he’s pretty well known … or she.

Up next: Flair and Batista against Edge and MVP.


Main Event: Ric Flair and Batista vs. Montel Vontavious Porter and Edge
Edge and Flair begin. Lock up and Edge takes Flair into the corner, Flair ducks a punch and gets the chops. Batista tagged in, and Edge right away tags out to Porter. Batista takes Porter into the corner for spears and a nice arm drag. Snapmare by Batista. Scoop slam by Batista and Flair is tagged in. Flair drops the knee to Porter’s head, and Flair takes Porter into the corner for the jabs. Batista tagged back in with a shoulder block. Suplex by Batista for a one count. Flair in again with an elbow drop, getting Flair a two count. Batista tagged in but Porter gets a big boot to Batista.


Edge and Batista are the legal men when we return. Edge chokes Batista in the corner, and Porter gets in a cheap shot. Edge with stomps to Batista. Drop toe hold by Edge, and Porter is tagged back in. Porter with hooks to Batista for a two count. Headlock and knee lifts by Porter. Porter off the ropes into a sideslam by Batista! Flair in with chops and punches to Porter! Flair with a shoulder body toss to Porter, knee breaker follows and Flair goes for the Figure Four but Edge hits the spear! Porter covers for a two count, broken by Batista! Edge tagged in. Edge with knees to Flair, elbow drop as well. Porter back in with a high knee drop. Porter with an abdominal stretch on Flair. Flair reverses an irish whip and Porter comes back into a chop. Drop toe hold by Porter, who comes off the ropes with a boot to the head of Flair for a two count. Edge back in. Edge punches away at Flair, Flair gets chops but Edge stops him with elbows. Shoulder body toss on Flair for a one count. Porter back in; running boot in the corner misses, Flair hooks the leg of Porter – Edge tagged in, so is Batista! Batista with a shoulder body toss to Edge, running clotheslines in the corners, powerslam to Edge too! Edge jumps over the spear attempt by Batista, Edge goes for a spear but Batista hits the spinebuster! Batista Bomb ends it.
Winners: Batista and Ric Flair

Kind of painful to watch; because there were moments of goodness, but nothing more than the usual bland offense. One out of Ten.

The Inside Pulse
Chavo Guerrero and Jamie Noble defeat Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore (Guerrero pins Moore): 4/10
Mark Henry defeats Funaki: -3 / 10
Matt Hardy defeats Finlay: 7/10
Chris Masters defeats Jobber Cannon Fodder: -2/10
Batista and Ric Flair defeat Edge and Montel Vontavious Porter (Batista pins Edge): 1/10
SmackDown 22/06/07: 7/50

Hardy and Finlay was very good, but the rest was an easy pass. Until next week!