It’s time for one last special “Remix” Edition of the “MTV Mix”. This edition features a new show, but its first season was a surprise hit on MTV. It’s a modern day odd couple. It’s about a skateboarder and his bodyguard, who happen to be best friends. They live together and have a bulldog named Meaty. Their family may be growing, though. How? Find now as you catch up on the first 5 episodes of the second season. People let me tell you about my best friend…
Rob & Big
Episode 1 – “Meaty and Mini”
It should be noted that Meaty still likes to ride skateboards, which is a funny way to start this season. Next, Rob & Big are messing around at the house, when Meaty decides to go out of control. He chews on everything and then he pees on some clothes that Rob is throwing out right in front of them. “That ain’t your style, Meaty!”
Rob thinks it’s time for Meaty to get a friend. So they go to a miniature horse farm to get a mini horse. Yes, they are bringing a horse back to Hollywood. They load up the horse in the truck, after seeing that Meaty likes to play with this horse. The horse’s name is, of course, “Mini”. Mini decides to crap on backseat of the truck next to Big Black and then lets out a giant noise, which freaks out Rob and that’s the best facial expression from Rob ever!
Once Mini is in the house, he doesn’t look so mini anymore. Rob asks Big if he’s made a mistake. The living room becomes Mini’s makeshift home for the night as Rob plans to have one last session on his backyard skate park before tearing it down to make room for a barn and pasture. When Rob and Big wake up the next morning, they find the living room full of pony crap.
Time to tear down the skate park and build a barn for Mini. The barn is complete with a miniature-size replica of the “three layers of heaven” house. Meaty and Mini become fast friends, running around the pasture together.
Finally, Rob & Big get dressed in cowboy costumes before they give Mini a tour of the neighborhood. Rob gets on his skateboard and lets Mini pull him down the street while Meaty runs behind them. And it looks like Rob and Big’s family is finally complete! Owning a barnyard animal in Los Angeles is wacky and crazy, but that’s Rob & Big! So it works for them!
Episode 2 – “Time Travel”
After Rob finishes working on an animated movie, Rob and Big walk back to their car and stop to check out a black van decorated with a mural of a half-naked girl surrounded by swords and blades. Big is impressed by the artistry, claiming he likes its retro style, while Rob contends it’s too much of a throwback to the 1970s. The debate reminds Rob that he has something back at the house to show Big, and the two quickly head home.
In the car, Big complains about the smell because there’s still pieces pony poop in the backseat from Mini Horse. They both agree that they need to find a more practical ride for Mini from now on. So they get a mini horse trailer. But Big Black wants to “pimp” it out.
At home, Rob reveals he has a time-travel machine called a Hyper Dimensional Resonator. Big doesn’t believe him, but he whips it out. Rob tries to send Big Black back in time, but it doesn’t work. So Rob calls the guy who sold it to him, Mr. Gibbs, who is one weird dude. He thinks Rob is alien and won’t talk to him.
Since Mr. Gibbs is no help, they search out someone who might could help him. They fly to Canada to visit a guy named Dr. Z, who says he has traveled back in time and made his car disappear. Rob is a believer, but Big Black is not. Of course, he can’t get the time machine to work either. So they just decide to smash the thing.
Finally, when Rob and Big arrive back in Los Angeles, Rob is surprised to find that Big’s alterations to the horse trailer include a painting of Rob, Big, Meaty, and Mini dressed as ancient Roman warriors. Rob and Big are excited about their new stylish ride and the guns that are painted on their bodies! That’s pretty funny actually.
Episode 3 – “Mississippi”
It’s time for a road trip. Rob & Big head to Mississippi for Big Black’s family reunion. He says he hasn’t been home in five years, so this should be fun. They even get to wear T-shirts that are made for the reunion.
Upon arrival, Rob and Big receive a big welcome and big hugs. Then Big’s Aunt Lou invites the boys to dig into her buffet-style meal that you can only find in the dirty South. Rob is full on one plate, but Big goes back for more. They relax that night and it’s time to eat again in the morning.
Now it’s time to work off the food. Rob wants to skateboard, but this is the country and there is nowhere paved to skate on. So they head to a construction site. That is until the mayor of the county, Mayor Maddox, rides by in an old-school car and questions the boys’ activities. He clearly doesn’t understand the art of skating and rides off shaking his head. “Doing what now? Skateboarding?” The boys pack up anyway, though, because they have agreed to make a special appearance at a pep rally.
The duo heads to Big Black’s old high school and meet with the principal. Immediately, Rob feels anxious about being in the principal’s office. But he relaxes and volunteers to dress up as the school mascot for the pep ralley. Rob is dressed as Tomcat and the kids are excited to see both of them, once they find out Rob is inside the suit as well. Big Black then gives the kids a “follow your dreams” speech.
Rob and Big head to a clothing store to shop for farmers’ outfits. They are going to work on a farm, or so they say. They actually do little work at all. The next adventure takes them to some bulls. Big Black backs out of actually riding the bull, but Rob is the “Californian Cowboy” as he stays on the bull for 5 seconds!
We finish off with the reunion, which includes church. Rob doesn’t have a suit for church, though, and you have to wear a suit to church. That leads them to the house of Big’s eccentric Uncle Jerry. You have to listen closely to Jerry, as he is a little out there to say the least. They then finish off their stay in Mississippi with a great reunion with some wacky games. But now it’s time to go back to Los Angeles, but they won’t soon forget this trip. Or Uncle Jerry for that matter! “Rob, is ’em good?” “You did good.”
Episode 4 – “Assistant Drama”
Drama is Rob’s cousin. He was hired as Rob & Big’s personal assistant. He is supposed to do chores and stuff around the house, but it seems like he slacking on the job. He does hire a topless maid to clean the house a little bit, which pisses Rob off but at least Big Black enjoys it. Still Rob says that Drama will get “waived”, if he doesn’t shape up.
Of course, Drama does get “waived” and Rob & Big have to find a new personal assistant. But first they must find a trainer for Mini, because Mini likes to bite all the time. They first meet Flame, a hippie horse trainer who gives him great advice actually.
Once Mini seems to be on his way to being trained, it’s time to find an assistant. They hired a guy named David Patrick Sammons, who seems to be a perfect fit for their assistant job. He has a resume, a DVD, and all kinds of background on him. So they tell him to visit and discuss what they want him to do. Of course, this guy actually doesn’t do physical labor or any domestic stuff so he’s pretty worthless. It’s back to where they started from.
Rob gives Drama another chance. But first he makes Drama get a real job at the local Hamburger Central. Rob and Big can’t resist stopping by the job to check up on Drama, so they hit the drive-thru and order tons of food. After a few laughs, Drama jumps in their car and they speed off. Rob tells him that he has got another chance.
We finish this episode with Rob & Big stopping by Flame’s house with her miniature horses. They have a play date and Mini has so much fun! That’s all Mini needed! So everyone is a big happy family again, but that’s okay with this show. It’s all about having fun and being happy.
Episode 5 – “Strip Show”
While Rob and Big are eating breakfast one morning, Mini Horse keeps trying to steal a bite of Big’s food, and Big persistently pushes Mini away. As Rob watches this interaction, he comments that Mini has a great head of hair, which sparks a conversation about how Big used to have lots of hair as well. Big claims that about 15 years ago he used to have a full head of hair and was a male stripper named “Black Lavender”. Rob finds this image hilarious and hard to believe. But Black insists that once stripping is like riding a bike. Once you know how to do it, you always have some skills! HA!
The first step back on Big Black’s stripping career is some hair. They try the Hair Club for Men, but that’s too expensive. So they go to an inexpensive wig store. He finally finds the perfect Afro, and the hairdresser cuts and styles it so it’s more suitable for Big’s head. The guys leave satisfied and go home to show off Big’s new hair.
The next day Rob books Big a gig at a downtown strip club and surprises Big with a choreographer to help him with his rusty moves. At the dance studio, the choreographer shows Big a routine to impress the ladies that includes a cane and plenty of body rolls and butt-shakes. He even gives Rob a show, which is something you should probably never see again! Oh lord!
Back at the house, Rob secretly watches as Big rehearses his striptease while decked out in a cowboy hat, boots, a green bathrobe, and a purple G-string! Now it’s time to strip. Big Black whips out his old stripper jacket with the slogan “Black Lavender: I Charge by the Pound” written on the back. That’s hilarious!
Time for the show now. Big Black is a little nervous and he is afraid that some shrinkage may occur. Rob helps Big Black out by giving him socks he can stuff in his g-string. Big Black then gets on stage and delights the crowd with his routine set to “Thong Song” by Sisqo! Big is rewarded with a basket full of cash that was tossed at him during his dance. Big really was able to end his stripping career with a bang and an earthquake!!
This season looks to be just as funny as the first season, if not more. So join me Friday on the regular “MTV Mix” for this week’s episode, along with every other show this week on MTV “After Dark”!!
And that ends the 41th volume and another special “Remix” Edition of the “MTV Mix”! If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, or feedback of any kind..send them my way!!
I’ll see you tomorrow when we get back to a regular schedule and the regular edition of the “MTV Mix”!!
Sir Linksalot: Rob & Big
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