The SmackDown Report

Personally, this entire past week has been too awkward. I’ve tried time and time again to write here what I thought, I felt that I needed or should to say something but I could never word it properly and I could never convey exactly how I was feeling. What’s the point of saying something if you can’t say it correctly? There is none. And that’s why I’m not going to take much time talking about it; it’s too awkward and hard for me to give my personal thoughts on the tragedy. It was a tragedy, it was horrible. And the last thing I can say is that I hope everyone affected by this can grieve; I hope Nancy and Daniel Benoit rest in peace. That’s all I can say on this past week.

Tonight on SmackDown: Batista and Edge go at it again.

Opening Contest: Ric Flair vs. Carlito
Carlito gets a cheap shot in the corner and follows with spears, but Flair gets some chops and jabs in. Shoulder body toss by Carlito; knee lift and clothesline follow and get Carlito a one count. Dropkick in the corner by Carlito; suplex gets Carlito another one count. Dropkick by Carlito, one cont follows. Flair gets in some shots but Carlito begins clubbing away at Flair. Carlito beats Flair down in the corner, kicking his gut. Carlito with a snapmare. Carlito’s dominance is going on too long, with Flair’s comebacks not lasting long enough. Oh, there we go, we get some chops by Flair which serve a better comeback but Carlito resumes the upperhand. Carlito with a two count over Flair. Bodyscissors on Flair; Flair turns it on Carlito and gets a right to the face of Carlito. Flair with the chops which Carlito sells in a great melodramatic manner. Shoulder body toss on Carlito. Carlito’s dropkick misses, Flair locks in the Figure Four, Carlito almost reaches the ropes so Flair releases the hold and works the leg before reattaching the Figure Four, and Carlito taps.
Winner: Ric Flair

Very nice ending there, but it made no sense for Carlito to tap so easily – he controlled almost the entire match, and Flair only worked the leg for roughly thirty seconds. One out of Ten.

Still to come: Batista and Edge again. I think this is their fourth singles match?

Commercials.

Second Contest: Matt Hardy vs. Lance Cade
Hardy with the usual headlock into shoulder block routine, ending with Cade getting a dropkick to Hardy. Cade celebrates the dropkick as though it was the most glorious thing since things where invented; if they weren’t the champions over on RAW, I’d love to see Cade and Murdoch over on SmackDown. Lock up and Cade works the arm, Hardy turns it into a hammerlock which Cade elbows out of; Cade follows with a hammerlock of his own, and Hardy sends Cade outside. Hardy with a nice baseball slide to Cade; back in the ring, Hardy gets the Yodel Elbow to Cade and signals for the Twist of Fate but Cade rolls outside. Cade gets a nice spinebuster bomb on Hardy. Hardy rolls outside and Cade sends him back into the ring for a two count. Hardy with elbows only to run into a very good one by Cade for a two count. Abdominal Stretch on Hardy; Hardy escapes and gets some shots in but Cade gets a scoop slam. Cade misses an elbow and Hardy gets an enziguri! Hardy with the clothesline bulldog in the corner for a two count. Cade pushes Hardy off the Twist of Fate and gets a clothesline shortly afterwards. Cade positions Hardy on the top rope and nails a superplex! Cade covers for a two count, almost a three. Hardy gets the Twist of Fate out of nowhere for the victory!
Winner: Matt Hardy

Solid match, and enjoyable at times. I can’t wait to see Cade/Murdoch vs. London/Kendrick. Five out of Ten.

Pictures of Edge defending the belt against Batista at Judgment Day. They’ve got a non-title match tonight, case you didn’t hear.

Commercials.

Third Contest: Cruiser Weight Championship: Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Chavo Guerrero (Champion)
Okay, weird pair of challengers, but alright. Alright, so, all three fight to start – Guerrero goes for back body drop on Funaki but Funaki turns it into a crossbody for a pinfall attempt. Funaki rolls Guerrero through into a pinfall but Noble breaks the pinfall. Noble positions Guerrero on the top rope but Guerrero hits him off, Guerrero misses the moonsault but hits Noble with a tilt-a-whirl slam and covers but Funaki breaks the pinfall. Guerrero with an uppercut to Funaki. Funaki with a drop toe hold on Guerrero. Noble goes for a suplex on Funaki but Funaki falls behind Noble, Noble gets behind Funaki and forces him gut first into Guerrero – who goes for a sunset flip, which hits, but Noble hits Funaki with a German Suplex at the same time. Guerrero gets a two count over Noble from the sunset flip, by the way. Guerrero runs into a high leg by Noble; Noble covers for a two count before Guerrero gets his foot on the bottom rope. Noble gets a sleeper hold on Funaki; Funaki reverses it with a jawbreaker. Funaki goes up top and jumps onto Noble and Guerrero on the outside with a crossbody! Back in the ring, Funaki covers Noble for a two count. Side suplex by Guerrero on Noble. Funaki with an inverted atomic drop on Noble. Noble goes for the double arm Powerbomb but Funaki trips Noble and flips him to the outside, only for Funaki to be hit with the Gory Bomb by Guerrero! Guerrero pins Funaki.
Winner and Still Champion: Chavo Guerrero

Funaki in a good match? Funaki not in a squash?! Noble in a title match?! Four out of Ten.

Vickie Guerrero is backstage on the phone when Edge storms in looking for T. Lo. Edge is not happy about being booked against Batista, and refuses to compete because he’s going up against Batista despite having beaten him three times in a row. Guerrero says it won’t be for the title, so Edge says he is competing under protest … That’s weird.

Commercials.

Fourth Contest: Deuce and Domino w/ Cherry vs. Cryme Tyme
That WWE Tag Championship match at Vengeance was painful to watch, almost right up there with that Diva Search Talent thing last year – and I don’t think this match is going to be easier. Domino and JTG start off. Lock up and Domino forces JTG into the corner; JTG reverses an irish whip and trips Domino in the corner, before JTG jumps up onto the second turnbuckle and gets a seated senton for a two count. Within ten seconds my expectations for this match and been increased; bravo, guys. Shad tags in and clotheslines Domino down. JTG back in with an interesting body drop on Domino. JTG gets sent outside; Domino is bleeding from the nose already. JTG back in and Deuce is tagged in. Deuce with an arm drag for a two count. Deuce with the right hands and Domino is tagged back in with a boot right to the head of JTG. Domino with a big knee to JTG before locking in a Cobra Clutch. Shad gets tagged in and gets clotheslines and a scoop slam to Domino before knocking Deuce down. Powerslam by Shad. Cherry distracts the referee and Domino rolls Shad up for the three count.
Winners: Deuce and Domino

I’m surprised at how good this match was, and thankfully it was quick too. Two out of Ten. Post match, Deuce and Domino make it clear they’ve got the titles.

Up net: Kane vs. Montel Vontavious Porter. Oh, this will be interesting; let’s see just how much Porter has improved.

Commercials.

Deuce and Domino are still celebrating in the ring, so Crime Time steals their car. Apparently big booty girls are priceless. That’s certainly news to me.

Montel Vontavious Porter makes his entrance; rants about being the best ever United States Champion of all time. Better than some guy called Tony Barker or something. He’s better than a few other people that I don’t know nor care about, so Kane interrupts him.

Fifth Contest: Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Kane
Porter with a headlock right away; Kane throws him off into the ropes and Porter comes back into a shoulder block. Porter works the arm of Kane, so Kane throws him outside. Kane picks Porter up in a bad powerbomb position, so Porter slides out and rolls outside. Porter with punches to Kane, but Kane gets in the throat thrusts. Porter ducks a clothesline and gets a low dropkick to Kane before booting him in the head; Porter covers for a pair of failed pinfall attempts. Porter works the arm of Kane; Kane punches Porter off and goes for a running clothesline in the corner but Porter gets an elbow up. Porter gets the nice running big boot on Kane in the corner; Porter covers for a two count. Porter resumes working the arm but Kane punches Porter off, Porter kicks the sore leg and comes off the ropes into a big boot by Kane. Running clotheslines in the corner by Kane, Kane follows with a sideslam for a two count. Flying clothesline by Kane connects! Kane signals for the Chokeslam, Porter elbows Kane off and drop toe holds Kane into the turnbuckle! Porter goes for another running big boot but Kane catches it and hits the chokeslam for the victory!
Winner: Kane

Now, if they did matches like these last year, I’d have enjoyed them. Four out of Ten.

Still photos from One Night Stand, with Edge defeating Batista.

Commercials.

Recap video of Vengeance.

Eugene is introduced to SmackDown and meets Great Khali. They’re opponents tonight. Hm, Runjin Singh is much more patronizing than Daivari was – he could end up being a good manager.

Mickie James is backstage; so Victoria thanks her for coming to SmackDown so she can beat her. Generic diva argument happens over who is wilder, so Victoria says that the next guy that comes through door number one will get to make out with her. Howard Finkel, really showing his age and gut, walks out but Victoria says she wasn’t warmed up. Jim Duggan then walks out and walks off too fast. Mickie James says she’ll kiss the next guy, who happens to be Big Dick Johnson – BUT he doesn’t walk through the door, Ron Simmons does, so Mickie James kisses him and Johnson is oblivious. Obligatory Damn moment. Why aren’t those two psychos anymore? Seriously, with Victoria on SmackDown she should be easy to turn into a psycho (wanting to make SmackDown ‘her’ yard), and Mickie James could just start obsessing over Jillian Hall or Candice Michelle or something … stupid generic chick gimmicks.

Commercials.

Sixth Contest: Mickie James vs. Victoria
It’s so incredibly weird to see Victoria on SmackDown, since she’s been on RAW for the better part of five years. Lock up and Victoria gets a headlock takedown on James. James gets a headscissors on Victoria, Victoria flips out and James gets a backslide pinfall on Victoria. James off the ropes with a crossbody to Victoria. James with a kick to Victoria’s gut, James goes up top looking for a moonsault but Victoria trips her with a clothesline and sets her in the tree of woe. Victoria goes outside and gets a nice boot to the head of James. Victoria covers for a two count. Victoria gets James with the nice TKO Sideslam for another two count. Victoria chokes James using the ropes. James gets a hurricanrana on Victoria and follows with a neckbreaker for a two count. James signals for the Tornado DDT but Victoria gets out of it and sends James face first into her knee. Victoria goes up top for the moonsault but James rolls out of the way. James rolls Victoria up for… the three count?
Winner: Mickie James

I’m judging this by RAW Diva Standards as opposed to SmackDown Diva Standards (yes, I do think there should be a distinction). Four out of Ten. They never had good chemistry but this match was better than some of their old matches.

Footage of Edge beating Batista at Vengeance, which leads to another advertisement for their match.

Commercials.

Seventh Match: Eugene vs. The Great Khali
Eugene tries to be happy, so Khali destroys him with the chop. Khali hits Eugene with the double handed chokeslam for the three count.
Winner: The Great Khali

Remember back to the days where Eugene would have had a chance against Khali? -Five out of Ten.

Batista is walking backstage; since he can’t get a title shot from Edge, he’s going to punish him.

Commercials.

Main Event: Edge vs. Batista
They take their time getting started; with Edge continuously holding onto the ropes before he can get a cheap shot on Batista. Edge stomps on Batista and poses momentarily. Edge hooks Batista’s leg on the rope but Batista throws him away and goes after the leg of Edge. Shin breaker by Batista, who follows up with a single legged Boston Crab. Edge goes for the Impaler DDT but Batista pushes Edge off and hits a powerslam. Batista goes for the Batista Bomb but Edge goes for a low blow – Batista catches the low blow attempt and clotheslines Edge down! Batista sends Edge off the apron and into the security barricade.

Commercials.

Spears in the corner by Batista, and Edge sends Batista outside. Batista begins entering the ring and Edge hits a spinning neckbreaker. Edge with a neckbreaker to Batista, incorporating the top rope, with Batista falling to the outside afterwards. Edge elbows Batista off the apron. Back in the ring, Edge gets a headlock on Batista, but Batista turns it into a jaw breaker. Batista gets the spear! Batista with a running clothesline in the corner, followed by a sideslam for a two count. Edge runs into a powerslam attempt but Edge reverses it into a reverse X-Factor. Edge sets Batista up for the spear but Batista hits the spinebuster! Batista goes for the flying shoulder block but Edge gets a dropkick! Edge goes for another spear but Batista turns it into a Batista Bomb! Batista covers for the three count!
Winner: Batista

Hey, that was pretty entertaining – especially for a Batista / Edge match. The more these two wrestle, the better the matches seem to be. Six out of Ten.

The Inside Pulse
Ric Flair defeats Carlito via submission: 1/10
Matt Hardy defeats Lance Cade via pinfall: 5/10
Chavo Guererro defeats Funaki and Jamie Noble (Guerrero pins Funaki): 4/10
Deuce and Domino defeat Crime Time (Domino pins Shad): 2/10
Kane defeats Montel Vontavious Porter via pinfall: 4/10
Mickie James defeats Victoria via pinfall: 4/10
Batista defeats Edge via pinfall: 6/10
SmackDown 29/06/07: 26/70

Good episode. I agree with Tom. There should be more matches; this formula works well. Four long matches on SmackDown is terrible. If they keep it to five matches, maybe one squash on top of that, and use the space they used for the other match for a segment then this show could begin looking up for the better. After all, there are a lot of people on SmackDown who could use the face time and the in-ring work. Keep them in short televised matches; I don’t mind.

Until next week, everyone.

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