6:55 AM
Carol is the early riser and starts the day looking pensive and doing some stretches in the backyard. Daniele wakes up around 7:15 and the two spend about an hour primping.
8:00 AM
The HG’s are awakened by BB telling them it is time to get up for the day. They moan and groan for a bit, and then wonder aloud why they have to get up so early. Some think there will be a veto ceremony.
Carol complains/jokes about Dick’s sleeping noises. He apparently snores and grinds his teeth. She thinks all the snorers should have to sleep in one room.
8:20-9:00 AM
Eric and Joe have a kumbaya moment as Eric apologizes for being a jerk about being woken up the night before. All’s forgiven, and everybody is happy in no time.
Carol informs them (and us) that she does not drink regular coffee (only Starbucks) and she wants a Green Tea Latte. No one seems particularly impressed. She must have given Jen and Eric and idea, however, because they are suddenly found with teabags over their eyes in the backyard.
Kail and Mike have a quick pow-wow and reassure themselves that Daniele won’t use the veto.
Daniele tells us she’s so hungry that her “insides are eating themselves out.” [ed. For heaven’s sake BB, its cruel to put this one on slop!]
9:00 AM
Carol relives the night before and tells everyone she wanted to bash the cameras in with a baseball bat.
Zach and Nick tell Daniele how beautiful she is, and that she would look great in a burlap sack.
9:20 AM
Nick and Jameka hang out in the hammock and discuss wardrobe for the live show that they are somehow convinced will be on Sunday.
Carol continues her smear campaign against the cameras and claims that they are purposefully trying to make her crazy by following her around. [ed. Those camera guys *do* have a sense of humor! Or, she might just be cracking up…] Dustin comments about how he and Carol never applied for the show.
Carol commences grooming and plucking while discussing hygeine with Dustin. They think that BB wouldn’t let people with bad hygeine on the show [haha].
9:30 AM
Its storytime with Nick and Jameka in the hammock. Jameka airs some of her family’s dirty laundry and tells about her Dad chasing her around (and punching her twice?), her brother getting mad enough to threaten her with a knife (Mom stepped in and told him to put it down), and her Grandfather protecting her from her brother by slamming him into a wall.
Not to be undone, Nick tells about being cut by his sister, and how he would always be the one to get in trouble no matter what his sister did. Then he tells about his Dad hitting him with a belt (it didn’t hurt, but he was supposed to pretend like it did to scare his sister). They move on to a quick discussion of bar fights.
They switch to the topic of Jen. Jameka is convinced that she doesn’t know her name, and they both think that she might be putting on an act. They decide that they are all in the house to play a character, and that Nick is Casanova. Jameka asks what her role is and Nick says “the angry black woman.” (It was all in fun, and both laugh.)
Nick then says he doesn’t want HOH, but Jameka thinks she has to go for it to get rid of Jen. They think she’s in the most danger next week.
10:00 AM
Storytime in the hammock continues with stories of Nick’s ex-girlfriend [Name slip… Katie. Sorry Katie.]. He thinks that some of her friends made her break up with him, and it still hurts. She stopped talking to him and ignored his letters/calls/etc. Her tires were slashed and he swears he didn’t do it.
Carol butts in and makes a big production of getting in the hammock with them. Jameka asks if there is a big difference between North and South Dakota.
10:30 AM
Kail, Jen, and Carol are the hammock crew now. Carol works the others by telling how she doesn’t think the Cheifs will take her back and how her dad pays for everything (apartment, food, sorority, etc)She says she works once a week if she feels like it. [I’m not sure how she thinks this will get her a vote, but she seems to think she’s working the “pity me” angle.]. Jen shuts her down and says she pays for all that herself. Kail just listens. They finally figure out there is no live show until Thursday. [One enterprising updater counted 13 “likes” used by Jen in one sentence. That has to be a record.]
11:00 AM
Zach, Nick, and Dustin lift weights and show off their testosterone nearby. Zach uses Howie’s “Big Boy” line… the girls tell him he’s unoriginal and needs a new phrase. Dustin proceeds to rub Nick down with lotion. [Captain Ambiguous strikes again.]
Carol resumes the camera hate and the campaign for the snorers to sleep in their own room. Lather, rinse, repeat ad nauseum.
Dick makes it known he’s cutting back on cigarettes.
Jen tells everyone that her “goal” for the day is to go without wearing a bikini. [Way to aim high, Jen.]
12:00 PM
Eric and Dick(!) have a grownup conversation about art and art museums. Dick was a big fan of the Bodyworks show. He finds many people in LA fake. Carol interjects that she loves Kansas.
Eric puts oil on to tan and Dick jokes that he’s going to get 4th degree burns and they’ll have to soak him in aloe everyday. He clamps his mic to his nipple; I guess he doesn’t want tan lines.
In the kitchen, Jen and Carol tell us that they have non-existant sex lives. They chitchat about last year’s comps, and how Dick’s stories have gotten old.
Dick plays with the slip n slide alone for awhile.
Zach tells about having Bells Palsy and his facing going numb on one side for a few weeks. Dustin had a pinched nerve that made him lose feeling in his lower half for 3 weeks.
1:00 PM
Carol wants to cover up all the cameras in the house. She thinks BB won’t send someone in to fix it. [She’s losing it, folks.] She talks about religion for awhile with Jameka, who would like to evangelize, but doesn’t feel comfortable.
We get a 20 second conversation with Dick and Daniele that confirms an alliance. They think Zach is on to them.
Carol spots a skywriter and they get sent inside and we get FOTH.
When we return, Carol, Amber and Dustin are counting votes and decide it will be close. They peg Mike as the swing vote.
2:00 PM
Carol tells Amber that Jessica’s mom is a psycho pageant mom [her words, not mine] and that the mom is the reason Carol and Jessica aren’t friends anymore. Carol calls Jessica stupid, shallow, and childish [pot, meet kettle.]. She would like to punch Jessica just once.
Dick and Dustin worry over Daniele’s weight in the backyard. Dustin reveals that he was once overweight and fears having an unhealthy relationship with food again.
Zach, Nick, and Daniele chat in the little room. Daniele and Nick plan their wedding (to each other) and decide they will be the next Romber. Zach asks if they will save their first kiss for the wedding, and NIck says yes, that he doesn’t want to spoil the relationship.
Zach gets called to the DR (Nick laughs and says BB is giving him time alone with Daniele) and we get an audio blooper. The DR woman of the day is overheard prompting Zach to talk about the Veto comp.
Amber, Jameka and Dustin pop up in the Bathroom and Amber starts having a meltdown over the votes. Dustin refuses to directly campagin for her.
3:00 PM
Carol predicted that Nick, Zach and Mike are a lock for final 5, with Kail and Daniele or Jen slipping through to round it out. She says that if she stays this week she will go out 8th or 9th. Eric [rightly] says there is no possible way to predict that this early. Carol thinks that Amber has an advantage since she is a mother. She’s afraid she’ll get voted out unanimously.
Oddly enough, down in the pool Amber tells Jessica that she is there to help her sister and family, and because of that she deserves to stay more than Carol. [There’s always one…] Jessica and Amber call Carol “fake.”
Joe joins the conversation and game talk stops. Jessica asks if you can get tan underwater and Joe tells her you can. She delivers a gem, asking “Well then why aren’t all the fish black?” Joe tells her animals are colored to match their enviornment and she delivers another saying “Like our green giraffe [the topiary] in our yard!?” [God bless her.] Joe inexplicably breaks into a song about bread and cheese.
4:00 PM
Eric spills the beans about Carol being upset over Amber’s campaigning TO Amber and Jessica. Amber insists that she isn’t trying to get sympathy, she just wants to make it clear that she wants to be there and Carol doesn’t.
Eric compliments Jen for actually wearing clothes.
5:00 PM
A bat appears in the backyard scaring the crap out of the guys. The girls stay put and laugh while the guys go running.
Joe tells the story of his first gay experience (with a QB in high school).
6:00
Dick, Jameka, and Carol talk religion in the backyard. It is pretty clear that Dick is upsetting Jameka and Carol (although he is being pretty respectful, he’s just voicing his opinion.) He walks away, and Jameka and Carol spend awhile hating on him. Jameka calls him ED because she doesn’t feel comfortable calling anyone “evil.”
Eric tells Kail that he thinks that Zach, Jameka, and Dick would join the two of them in the Final 5.
Joe tells Jessica in the gym he would almost like to vote off Amber just because she is close to Dustin. (He won’t, though, or so he says.)
7:00 PM
Eric is concerned that some people are getting upset at his “dates” since he hasn’ ask everyone. Kail comes in and they talk about Carol missing IMing and gossip magazines.
Amber gives Zach a back massage with lotion in the hottub.
They discuss Daniele’s weight again, and Dick tells her to eat her slop and take more vitamins. She snaps at him.
Joe says he knows Susan Sarandon, then waxes philosophical about… Finding Nemo. He swears every line has a double meaning.
8:00 PM
Jameka and Daniele talk game in the backyard. Daniele thinks that Jen hates her. Both girls seem to want her out, and think everyone else does too. They think that they can make and alliance with Nick and Jessica and likely Joe.
We visit Dustin and Amber in the TMI department, er, HOH bathroom. Amber is complaining about needing to go #2, and being worried about starting her period. They talk about needing Jessica and Nick, and how they both have a crush on Nick . Nick and Amber met at the LA auditions and “clicked.” Amber shows her trust in Dustin by doing a #2 with him in the room. (!!!!) Dustin has a yoga date with Nick and he’s nervous because he has a crush. Amber is getting ready for a date with Mike.
Mike drinks some water and gargles with listerine while Amber waits. She tells him that both she and Dustin think he’s hot. She keeps repeating how she feels like she’s on a “real date.”
The bat flies around a bit more.
9:00 PM
Mike tells Amber that he likes protein shakes, and then walks back inside from their “real date” to make cookies. [I’m not making this stuff up!] They go to the DR to ask for champagne. She comes back, the storage room is locked, and Jameka “leaves them alone for their date.” 20 seconds later, Amber gets called back to the DR.
Jen and Eric pow-wow in the hammock. They try to figure out how to “recruit” people to their side.
Carol thinks she can get a vote from Mike. [Yes, the very Mike currently “on a date” with the other nominee.] She thinks Amber is trying to “steal” votes by giving backrubs to Zach and dating Mike.
Nick convinces us he isn’t gay by tell Mike he is a good looking guy. He says, “When I look at you I get the viewpoint of Dustin and Joe.”
Jameka/Carol/Daniele/Joe hope for a competition or something on Sunday. They are bored. [Welcome to the club]
Dick and Dustin chat about Kail in the teacup. Dick thinks Kail is nice, but guarded.
Nick tells Kail that he got an offer from Joe for a secret alliance.
Zach is seriously sunburnt. He tells Kail Jen is irritating and only thinks about herself. They talk about finding out who the famous person is that she dated. Kail wants to work on breaking down alliances. Zach outs Dick, Amber, Dustin and Jameka as an alliance. Kail decides they should take out Amber instead of Carol then. Zach doesn’t like the idea, but Kail doesn’t want to get stuck with no way to get rid of Amber. [ed. Smart woman. She must have watched last season.] They want to test Jen, and kick her out if she doesn’t do what they say. They think it’ll hurt her if she’s out before sequester. Zach doesn’t want HOH yet, unless he HAS to have it.
10:00 PM
Carol tells Eric are floating by on their looks except for Jameka and Amber. She says that the producers told her that she was in the top 3 fan favorites and that she should work harder to stay.
A bunch of food shows up in the storage room.
11:00 PM
Dustin and Zach chat about something involving Kail and possibly Danielle. They decide to play golf. Dick and Amber join. Amber and Mike are “team datenight”, Dick and Zack are “team scumbag,” and Eric and Dustin are “The strokes.” Dick nicknames Eric “the white rabbit,” and “angry jewboy,” and makes lots of jokes about Amber liking “the wet hole.”
12:00 AM
Food restriction ends for the sloppers and they are ready to eat.
Daniele tells Nick that Eric is moody. Nick says she can bunk up with him at night for “protection purposes.”
Dustin and Amber congratulate themselves and say they are “the henchmen” and that everyone wants them for an alliance. They chit chat about Erika and Janelle turning on CT last year. Amber says there will be no backstabbing this year. [I’m glad SHE thinks so!] She counts the votes, again, and reassures herself that she’s staying, again, and reminds Dustin that everyone loves her… AGAIN.
1:00 AM
Dustin and Amber claim that slop wouldn’t bother them at all.
Zach tells Carol to send anyone she needs for a vote to come to him. He thinks he is very persuasive and can sway anyone. He then says that he hasn’t decided who is is voting for. [But he’s helping Carol get votes? Huh?]
Carol goes off and tells Joe that Zach found a way to save her. She thinks she has a majority of the votes now [So far, she actually has none of them.] Joe thinks that he has all of the alliances figured out [but he doesn’t.]
The HG’s discuss alcohol. Jessica says “I’m not an alcoholic, but i’m a regular.”
Eric complains about Kail locking herself in HOH being anti-social. He doesn’t want the house to become polarized and he is starting to feel like an outcast.
A Joe gem – “Genitalia is God’s way of accessorizing!”
Dick and Dustin figure out Mike and Kail and call them the perfect alliance since no one would suspect. Dick nicknames them the “Mrs. Robinson alliance.” Neither of them trust Kail at all and know she knows BB well.
Amber joins, and they talk about how Jen told Nick that he could only flirt with her. He isn’t speaking to her now.
2:00 AM
Jen talks about being on “Las Vegas” with Josh Duhamel, taking a vacation in the Bahamas with a boyfriend [Boogie?], and doing drugs with Hollywood people.
Nick and Dick complain about Jen and how she lies.
3:00 AM
Amber, Dick, Nick, and Joe say that the next week is a free week for everyone but Jen. Dick makes fun of how she walks around practically naked. They decide Mike is the only one who wouldn’t put her on the block because he is too nice. Everyone just continues to hate on Jen.
Dick goes inside to make waffles and discusses masturbation with Eric.
Jen regrets calling out Nick and wants to talk to him. Everyone tells her to leave him alone, so she goes upstairs and cries to Kail. Jen grabs Nick and chats with him in the storage room. Afterwards, she tells everyone that Nick thinks she’s stupid. [ed. Nick isn’t the only one, but that could work out to her advantage if it turns out they (we) are wrong.]
4:00 AM
Nick swears to Daniele that he’s blowing a lot of smoke with everyone but her and promises never to “cross the line.”
Eric calls Daniele(?) a c*nt and wants to call her out (about …something?…) but Jen makes him wait. He continues the nastiness and calls her a “f*cking slut, f*cking wh*re” [OUCH] Eric says they do not want to go to war with him.
Everyone sits around and chats about nothing. Amber brings up (again) how she missed her daughter’s 8th birthday for BB casting.
5:00-6:00 AM
Everyone wanders off to bed in stages, leaving Dick up alone giving us commentary on his own golf game. He talks about his fake date tomorrow with “Mrs.Robinson” (Kail) and how interesting it will be.
7:00 AM
Dick gives the topiaries eyes, and debates going to the DR. He finally crashes at 7:04 AM.
Credit: Joker’s Updates
