The SmarK 24/7 Rant for World Championship Wrestling – November 2 1985

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The SmarK 24/7 Rant for World Championship Wrestling – November 2 1985

– Unfortunately taking a week’s vacation meant no 24/7 for a week, leaving me with withdrawal. Some NWA should clear that right up!

– Highlights of a Magnum v. Tully match from October 18 are historic, because it’s the only time I’ve ever seen that the referee’s double count actually results in the end of the match, as they collide and neither guy makes it to their feet by 10.

– Manny Fernandez v. Tommy Lane. Criss-cross and Fernandez hiptosses Lane into the corner to start, but Lane grabs a headlock. Manny takes him down with an armdrag and works the arm, and finishes with the Flying Burrito at 1:40.

– Ric Flair offers his opinions on Dusty Rhodes, and adds that he’s a kiss-stealin’, wheelin’ dealin, you know the rest. The upshot is that Starrcade is too soon to come back, and Flair and the Andersons are gonna make him pay for it. The Andersons helpfully offer to re-break his leg if need be.

– Buddy Landel v. Tony Zane. Buddy gets a slam and kneedrop, and finishes with the corkscrew elbow and figure-four at 0:53.

– JJ and Buddy throw down the gauntlet to Terry Taylor: Put the National title on the line at Starrcade! Spoiler: Buddy won the title there.

– The Rock N Roll Express v. Mike Davis & George South. Gibson f*cks up a leapfrog with South, but recovers with a clip instead and the RNR work on the leg. They switch off and stay on the leg, but Mike Davis tags in and it’s BONZO GONZO. That goes badly for the jobbers, as they flatten South with the double dropkick and finish at 2:32. Great sell from South on that.

– Tully Blanchard once again reiterates that Magnum already had his last shot at the US title, and he didn’t win. This sets up a piece of video from NWA President Bob Geigel, who was the TV figurehead with just slightly more competency than Jack Tunney as far as leaders go, who declares that there will be no I Quit match, because it’s just too violent.

– Billy Jack Haynes v. The Black Cat. The Cat tries throwing forearms and gets nowhere, as Billy Jack takes him down and hits the chinlock. That goes on for a while, so Tony takes the chance to explain why Starrcade is called “The Gathering”: Because it’s a gathering of all of Dusty’s friends, who have come to the NWA to be by his side against Flair. So there you go. Suplex by Haynes gets two and he goes back to the chinlock, then finishes with the full nelson at 4:25.

– Tony Schiavone interviews Dusty’s doctor and we meet Dusty’s new boots. As exciting as it sounds.

– Magnum TA v. Keith Erich. Another epic, as TA pins the jobber in 7 seconds with the belly to belly.

– Superstar Billy Graham v. Abdullah The Butcher. The idea here is that Abdullah is going after the arm so that Graham can’t arm-wrestle Barbarian. Big brawl to start and Graham chokes out Butcher with a TV cable on the floor, but Abby chokes him out on the ropes when they head back in. Paul Jones adds a shot to the head with his cane, but Superstar comes back with a bearhug. Now those are some big arms! Butcher goes to the eyes and tries the elbow, but misses and Graham hits his own. He chokes away and Barbarian runs in for the DQ at 3:38. Pretty fun brawl, actually. ** This apparently calls off the arm-wrestling match against Barbarian, but they would have it at Starrcade. Whew.

– Pez Whatley v. Benny Traylor. Whatley takes him down with a headlock to start and works on the arm, holding him on the mat with an armbar for a while. Side salto gets two. He goes to the chinlock and backdrops Traylor, and a snapmare gets two. Back to the arm, and he takes him down with a dropkick before going to the headlock again. Man, this thing just keeps going. Traylor backs off into the corner and tries a headlock to slow down the PEZ WHATLEY MACHINE, but Pez goes back to that armbar again. From there he goes to a boston crab, but Traylor makes the ropes. Pez headbutts him down and finishes with a flying headbutt at 7:54. That wasn’t a squash, it was an experiment in cruelty.

– Black Bart wants to talk about that daggum Ron Bass, who he will be facing in a daggum bullrope match at that daggum Starrcade! Bart was truly an hauteur of the crazy yelling wrestling interview.

– Next week in the increasingly-misnamed Championship Challenge series: Billy Jack Haynes v. Thunderfoot. Uh, okay.

– Let us take you back to October 22, as Baby Doll gets in Magnum’s face, and he practically rapes her. People have been sued for millions for less than kissing someone and then ripping her blouse off. And as a result, Jim Crockett steps in and overrules Bob Geigel, signing the I Quit match between Tully and Magnum after all.

– Tully Blanchard v. Denny Brown. People not to be right now: Denny Brown. Tully kicks his ass in frustration and takes him down with a knee to the gut, then tosses him and stomps him from the apron. Denny tries to fight back with a sunset flip that gets two, and manages to take Tully down with a back elbow. He slugs away in the corner, but Tully viciously snaps him into the turnbuckles. Denny keeps fighting and knocks Tully to the apron, and then blocks a charging Tully with a boot to the face. Tully takes him down, however, and drops elbows, as the power of anger is just too much, and the slingshot suplex finishes at 3:38. Terrific fun, as Tully is just awesome telling little stories like this one. **

– The Andersons return to protest Crockett’s decision, and boy is Ole pissed. He notes that Magnum should probably have 24 hour police protection, because otherwise they’re gonna kill him first chance they get. Charming.

– Nikita Koloff v. Mack Jeffers. How did Vince McMahon NOT just offer Nikita millions of dollars and all the steroids he could do in exchange for a main event run with Hulk Hogan? It boggles my mind, because Koloff was exactly what Vince was looking for in a Hogan foil. Hogan v. Koloff would have been EPIC, man. It was all there! The nephew of the former WWF champion, out to avenge the Koloff name by winning the title back and bringing it to Moscow in the heat of the Cold War! Anyway, Koloff completely destroys this poor guy and finishes with the Sickle at 1:54.

– The Russians pose and yell.

– Ivan Koloff & Khrusher Khruschev v. Ricky Reeves & Mike Garmon. There’s an inordinate number of black jobbers this week. Is this a southern thing? Ivan and Smashovich double-team Reeves, and then beat on Garmon, as Ivan drops a knee and knees him down. They choke him out with the tag rope and Ivan chokes him on the ropes, and Comrade Darsow finishes with a Minnesota Sickle at 3:11.

– Jimmy Valiant v. Jimmy Black. Jimmy Black appears to be another incarnation of then-jobber Jimmy “Del Ray” Backlund. Valiant applies a nerve hold to Black, but Miss Atlanta Lively heads into the ring and…kisses Valiant? Gross. Ronnie Garvin’s got ISSUES, man. Black uses the distraction and chokes Valiant out, but Miss Lively uses “her” Hands of Stone to KO Black and give Valiant the pin.

– Jim Cornette is OUTRAGED at this whole cross-dressing thing. I’m just weirded out. Jimmy Valiant chases Cornette away, and declares his love for Miss Atlanta Lively, the “toughest broad I’ve ever met”. Jimmy gives Tony a kiss to end the show.

Another great, fun show from the days when it truly was entertaining, without the company having to come up with a catchphrase to alert the media to how fun they are.