Pardon The Pulse

Howdy folks and welcome back this week as we arrive in full force. Paulie is done with his week of taking care of children that aren’t his and hoping never will be. CJ and I are here too and would have been last week but I’m kind of a moron. But that is totally besides the point as we have plenty to talk about this go round. So let’s stop dilly-dallying and get on with.

Say it once, say it twice, third time’s a charm…

1.) Budweiser Dumping Dale Jr.

Paulie: Man, they’re really dicking over the Junior fans, aren’t they? First they make them have to change their number tattoos and car stickers. Now they’ve gotta change beers? Poor Junior fans. It’s understandable though. It’s a business. And the new team has agreements with its own sponsors. Does Guinness sponsor a car? They should. Their sales would soar. But he’ll probably get stuck in the Kotex Maxi Pad car.

Charles Joseph: As awesome as it would be to see him driving the Kotex Maxi Pad car, or the Pink Taco car (we know they’ve been trying to sponsor a stadium) it looks like a Pepsi Product is going to pick up the Junior sponsorship, either Mountain Dew or Gatorade or a combination of the two. This is almost as much Junior’s choice as it is Budweiser’s. With Bud sponsoring Junior, he was limited in what he could do. He couldn’t really be a part of NASCAR’s main charity, Victory Junction, because that is meant to help children, and with him being sponsored by a beer company, that didn’t quite look right. It also puts him more into the public eye. He’s already the most recognizable driver and if he signs a deal with Pepsi, look for a Peyton Manning-esque jump in commercials.

Danny: Great, more hick commercials. I’m sorry but the ones he is in now make him look like a gigantic hick, which he is. Any of the Chevy commercials, which are God awful if he’s in them or not. The Wrangler jeans commercials with him in them are just insanely bad with that damn “The boys are back in town” song playing in it…but once again, it’s WRANGLER! And Junior will also never have the comedic finesse that Peyton has in commercials. But like CJ said, this is good for some things such as being part of Victory Junction. I mean this was a necessary move for Budweiser so they did what needed to be done. It’s not like they are going to be losing money hand over fist because of taking their sponsorship from him.

2.) NFL Teams Outside The United States

Danny: Perhaps one of the stupidest damn ideas ever. Ummm…NFL Europe was just shut down right? From a business standpoint, it made sense to close the league after sixteen years right? So what is the answer? I don’t think saying that plans to have teams in Mexico, London, and/or Canada within the next ten years is anywhere near the answer. I think playing regular season games out of the country is stupid…don’t take meaningful games away from hometown fans. You want to throw some preseason games out there, go ahead. And don’t you dare take the Super Bowl out of the U.S. either…this is American football. AMERICAN! And I’m not saying anyone else can’t enjoy it around the world, but they were given the chance. NFL Europe. And it failed because of lack of support. Doesn’t that say something?

I don’t see the point or logic behind having teams that will play in a regular season if they are in other countries. These boys already get exhausted from games, practice, and the immense amount of travel. How the hell can a London team logistically have an 8 home/8 away season? Explain that to me because I am seriously confused on how that is even possible. And don’t even get me started on games in Mexico…the team planes back will have locals hanging out of the wheel well trying to jump border.

Stupid idea…incredibly stupid.

Paulie: No. No. No. No. No. The logistics of it are just too out of whack. The only, ONLY countries that would possibly work are Canada and Mexico. In Canada, they already have the CFL and they’d have to be EXTREMELY careful where they put the team in order to not totally kill an established CFL team there. And in Mexico, they’d have the same problem they had in Europe. It’s a nice novelty that’ll sell out a game a year or so, but not a full schedule. The guys already have enough to deal with. Don’t make them have to go across an ocean 8 times a year.

Charles Joseph: HAHAHAHAHA…anyone with me on Goodell’s complete and udder lack of a brain yet? I’m still alone on that? Oh well. It took awhile before people realized I was right on the bald dumbass coaching the vi…well, pretending to coach the Vikings. There is no way having a team in any of those countries would work or be mistaken for being anything other and ridiculously stupid. I agree with Paulie that having one game a year in the various markets is a passable idea, but not actually stationing a team there and Danny really drove home the point as to why, the physical wear and tear of traveling that much would be unbelievable.

3.) Ron Artest/Stephen Jackson Suspensions

Charles Joseph: Damn it. Stupid David Stern. People need to stop taking clues from Roger Goodell. Let the legal system deal with these guys. Jackson has said that he deserves the suspension, but Artest is now appealing his suspension from a mission trip to Kenya. Since Artest pled guilty to spousal abuse, we know he’ll get some sort of punishment from the penal system. If we let the legal system treat players like people and not give them all special treatment; that will deter these guys more than any suspension will.

Danny: The problem is that half the time the legal system is flawed and won’t treat “stars” as they should be. I mean hell, look at Paris Hilton. Sure she went back to jail, but you know damn well she still got special treatment. Maybe if these boys got put in a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison, then things wouldn’t be so bad. But needless to say the commissioners need to step in to take action so they are. I think both these suspensions are justified as Jackson has said he deserves it so that case is closed. Artest…well he pled guilty, so he ALSO deserves a suspension so case closed there. These guys do this shit for a living. It is their jobs. If someone at my work pled guilty to spousal abuse and ended up doing some jail time, even if a small amount, I doubt they’d have a job at all waiting for them when they came back. These boys should be happy they do what they do and aren’t out on the street completely.

Paulie: To be honest, I was totally out of the loop last week and have no idea what these suspensions are about. From what I hear though, at least Stephen Jackson is owning up to whatever it was he did and is accepting his suspension even though the union is begging him to appeal it. As for Artest? I’m honestly surprised he hasn’t been banned from the league yet. But if he pled guilty for beating his wife… did Jason Kidd get anything when he got caught whacking his woman? If he did, he should get whatever Kidd got plus like 5 games for being a repeat jackass. If he didn’t well… he probably should have.

4.) NFL Draft In Different Cities – New Orleans Campaigning For 2008

Paulie: I’m all for the draft moving around. The NFL Draft has become a HUGE event now. To keep it locked away in New York is just stupid. Take bids on it like the Super Bowl. The stupid Jets fans will probably follow it around every year to boo their pick. The Philly people too. It’ll get them out and about to see the rest of the country. It’ll be good for them.

Charles Joseph: Leave it where it is. What good does moving it around do? And having city take bids for it Paulie? Really? What good is a city going to get from having the draft there. It’s not like this is such a huge event, that tens of thousands of people follow it around. So it wouldn’t bring much to a city in terms of tourism or extra cash flow. So I really don’t see any benefits for anyone for moving it around. I can’t imagine Danny will be behind the campaigning for New Orleans as it’ll be just another, “Oh, pity us, we had a hurricane 5 years ago” ploy by the city. Keep the Draft in New York.

Danny: My sentiments exactly Chucklebutt. Well, on some things. I want no pity for my city because of the damn hurricanes. We’re already getting that next year with the NBA All-Star Game and this year with the Arenabowl.

BUT…I do think moving the draft around is a decent idea. It really is a pretty big deal. The amount of money it would bring into whatever city it is in each year would be phenomenal. You’d have God knows how many representatives from every team in town. Fifty different networks having all their people in town. The top players and their families, set-up crews, and not to mention a good number of fans from around the country. It is a good idea and would give a lot of fans the chance to witness this event first hand since they may never be able to make it to New York. I for one know I’d be there in a heartbeat just to see how it would be having a much larger group of fans then the Giants and J-E-T-S have each year at the draft.

5.) Ichiro’s Contract Extension Bad For Baseball?

Charles Joseph: Well the Marlins owner definitely thinks its going to “ruin the game.” And on first look you’d have to think he was an idiot. Ichiro got 5 years and 90 million which doesn’t seem so bad when you look at other contracts that have been handed out. Zito’s 126 million dollar contract, Carlos Lee got 6 years and 100 million, Alfonso Soriano 8 years 136 million. And JD Drew 5 years 70 million. Looking at those contracts, Ichiro’s doesn’t look that bad, but the key difference between the hitters above and Ichiro, is Ichiro is a singles hitter. Lee, Soriano, and Drew all are considered power hitters and 90 million is a very high price for a singles hitter and the Marlins owner, a notorious cheapskate, thinks that Ichiro’s contract is going to cause more contracts like it to be given to players nowhere near Ichiro’s talent level. But when you look at the whole picture, Ichiro is the Seattle Mariners. Without him nobody comes to the ballpark in Seattle unless Hernandez is pitching and he really has more value to the Mariners than any other teams.

Danny: See, I don’t understand the talk of it “ruining” baseball either when you take a look at the larger picture. There are so many ludicrous contracts out there in every major sport that make me always sit up and say, “No one person is worth that much damn money!” But alas, they get paid for their talent. Ichiro on the other hand gets paid for his talent and like CJ said, because the Mariner fans love him. He is their team just like Bonds is the Giants, Peyton is the Colts, and Jordan was the Bulls. Sure they had/have great supporting teammates, but when you mention the team names…that is who you think of. Much like Jay Buhner and his bald ass head represented the Mariners, Ichiro is the face of the team. He is a great hitter even though he does only hit singles and is good in the field. But the fans love him and keep coming to see him so the team did what it felt was right to keep the money rolling in. And that’s pass some off to their bread and butter.

Paulie: I see it as the M’s not wanting Ichiro to be A-Rod all over again. Yeah, he’s a singles hitter. But I remember a week that he got 11. ELEVEN!! Stolen bases for my fantasy team. So for every single, there’s a good chance he can make it a double and he scores a lot. Which, in the end, is almost as good as jacking one out of the park once every 3 or 4 games. Some would say… better? If an owner wants to bitch about it, they need to learn how to say, “Hey, Joe Blow, you’re a .280 hitter with little power and mediocre speed, but you want money like Ichiro got because he’s not a power hitter either? Here’s a clue, dipwad, YOU’RE NOT ICHIRO! Now here’s your league minimum. Go sit on the bench.”

PEE-YOMPS (pimps)

Like movies, but never know what to watch? Then check out some DVD reviews by heading over to The DVD Lounge where there are a lot of good people watching a lot of crap so you don’t have to. And for a person who has over 1300 DVDs and watches every movie imaginable, Travis really finds some things that even I have never heard of.

Popcorn Junkies is a place you really need to go check out as well because there are great people like Caroline, Ping, Michaelangelo, Kubryk, and more bringing you news and movie reviews at all hours of the night and day.

Yeah, short list of pimps this week cuz I’m tired. And well, I need to save up my energy because at 12:01 AM Saturday morning (Friday night), I am picking up my copy of “Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows.” I will be spending the weekend holed up in my apartment and reading so I can’t possibly be spoiled by any news websites or TV shows. Or worst of all…Paulie. That bastard is just waiting for the moment to spring his trap and let me know what happens in the final book to the boy wizard.

No I’m not gay.

Go yell at us here in the forums.

That is it for this week everyone. We’ll be back in a few days with another rendition and I can almost guarantee you that we’ll be talking about Michael Vick. That dumb bastard is proving that his family name and lineage is just destined for stupidity immortality. And the three of us here at PTP couldn’t be happier…Paulie being a Panthers’ fan and me a Saints’ fan, anything that makes the Falcons shittier makes us giddy. And as for CJ…well, he thinks this will cause the price of Vick jerseys to go down and he’s a cheap-ass!

Go see Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix, it really is good.

Have a good weekend everyone…and remember, dog-fighting is illegal. Avoid the curse of Vick, don’t be a dick.