Pulse Wrestling’s WWE Great American Bash Report

Pulse Wrestling’s WWE Great American Bash Report
Live from San Jose

Montel Vontavious Porter (c) vs. Matt Hardy – US Championship
Back and forth match-up from the start. MVP rolls out of the ring to catch his breath. Matt follows and rolls him back in. Matt goes up for his elbow drop, but MVP pulls Matt right off the top. Some more back and forth. Matt goes up again, but MVP catches him, and MVP nails a SUPERPLEX. MVP looks for another SUPERPLEX, this time a belly to back, but Matt rolls into a press. Matt nails the middle rope leg drop for 2. Matt calls for the Twist of Fate, but MVP reverses it for a Playmaker, which Matt reverses for a Side Effect for 2. They exchange roll ups. MVP goes for his big boot in the corner, but Matt dodges it and tries another roll up for 2. MVP finally hits his boot, and then the Playmaker for the win.
Winner and Still Champion – MVP

Todd with Dusty Rhodes. Dusty says that he invented the GAB. Dusty continues to ramble incoherently.

Chavo Guerrero (c) vs. Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Shannon Moore vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble – Cruiserweight Open – Cruiserweight Title
I don’t know if Hornswoggle is actually in the match, he did run in the ring at the beginning of the match. They all attack Chavo to start. I guess this isn’t elimination. They pair off and fight. Chavo starts to isolate Wang, and locks on Lance Storm’s Maple Leaf leg lock. Funaki breaks it up, and Moore and Funaki square off. Chavo in, nails the Gory Special on Funaki for 2, when Wang breaks it up. Chavo hits a superplex on Wang, but Noble has Chavo on his shoulders, and they all fall to the mat. Hornswoggle is back, and climbs the ropes and nails a Tadpole (Frog) Splash off the top rope on Noble and scores the pin!!!
Winner and New Champion – Hornswoggle

Hornswoggle celebrates on the floor, while the others stare him down. They go to get him, but he runs under the ring, and runs up the ramp.

Video package on Lashley.

The Sandman vs. Carlito – Singapore Cane on a Pole Match
Sandman comes out first and doesn’t drink any beer. Carlito then comes out and spits apple in Sandman’s eyes. They put the cane on the pole, and it is VERY high. Sandman finally gets to the cane, and swings at Carlito, but Carlito ducks it and nails the Backstabber for the pin.
Winner – Carlito

Todd with Orton. Orton asks if Todd knew that it was HBK’s Birthday. Todd said he didn’t, and Orton says that HBK didn’t know either, ever since Orton kicked his head in!

Candice Michelle (c) vs. Melina Perez – Woman’s Championship
Melina dominates the beginning of the match. Candice starts to fight back, and hits a top rope cross body for 2. Melina back up, nails a split legged neckbreaker for 2. Melina with a sleeper, but Candice reverses out of it. She sets up for the Unprettier, but pulls it in for a bulldog for the pin. King says that Candice calls it the Candy Wrapper.
Winner and Still Champion – Candice Michelle

Backstage, Matt catches up with his brother Jeff. Matt says not to lose his focus, and he will win. Candice walks up and gets a bottle of water, and starts dumping it all over herself, and it goes really slow with bad porn music. Faarooq comes in for his ‘DAMN’.

Umaga (c) vs. Jeff Hardy – Intercontinental Title
Jeff attacks Umaga to start, but Umaga fights him off and begins to pummel him. Umaga tosses Jeff around from corner to corner and locks on a shoulder nerve pinch. Jeff fights out, goes up for a crossbody, but Umaga catches him and nails a huge Catatonic for 2. Jeff gets some life in him, and knocks Umaga to the floor, and then suicide dives on him. Back in the ring, Umaga clotheslines Jeff and puts him in the corner. Umaga goes for his running ass bump, but Jeff slides out of the way, and hits the Whisper in the Wind, and follows it with a Swanton Bomb for 2. Umaga back up, Thrust Kick sends Jeff sitting in the corner, Umaga then hits the running ass bump, and then the Samoan Spike…all in a very vicious sequence for the pin.
Winner and Still Champion – Umaga

Video package on Cena.

John Morrison (c) vs. CM Punk – ECW Title
In case anyone is wondering, Morrison comes out with the same designs on his tights, and the same ring coat he’s been wearing for months now. This is a very slow and boring match. Morrison’s new name and bad music has just turned me off of him. CM goes for a springboard clothesline but Morrison dodges it, and knees him in the head on the way down for the pin.
Winner and Still Champion – John Morrison

Recap of Dusty/Orton.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Orton – Texas Bull Rope Match
Dusty pulls Orton around a bit to start. They fall to the outside, and Dusty pulls Orton into the ringpost. They roll back in the ring, and then Orton takes over. Orton hits Dusty in the knee with the cowbell. Dusty tries his bionic elbow, but then Orton nails Dusty in the head with the cowbell for the pin.
Winner – Randy Orton

Orton lines up, looking to punt Dusty’s head in, but Cody makes the save.

Recap of Edge giving up his title and Khali winning it.

The Great Khali (c) vs. Kane vs. Batista
Kane & Batista double team Khali, but Khali fights back and dominates. Michael Cole responds to the chorus of boos by saying ‘Get used to this SmackDown fans, Khali will continue to dominate.’ They fall to the outside, and Kane & Batista put Khali through the ECW announce table. In the ring, Kane & Batista go at it. Khali comes back in and Kane choke slams him for 2 before Batista breaks it up. Batista hits the big Spinebuster for 2 when Kane breaks it up. Kane and Batista keep fighting with each other, and Khali dumps Batista to the outside, and hits that double choke slam on Kane for the pin.
Winner and Still Champion – Great Khali

They play a HHH Returns video, and it says that he will be back at SummerSlam.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell come out, and Booker again says that HHH is the King of nobody, and that the only true King is King BOOKAH!! He then turns to Lawler, and tells Lawler to come to the ring and surrender his crown at his feet. Lawler says that if Booker wants his crown, he can come take it. Booker calls it treason and leaves.

Recap of Cena/Lashley feud.

John Cena (c) vs. Bobby Lashley – WWE Title
Plenty of back and forth action to start. Lashley starts to take over with a overhead TBone suplex for 2. Lashley hammers Cena’s back, and then hits a sidewalk slam for 2. Lashley whips Cena around a bit, then hits a big time vertical suplex for another 2 count. Cena kicks Lashley in the gut and then hits the Throwback. Cena goes up to the top rope, and hits a leaping famasser for 2. Lashley hits a gut buster, and then locks on a rear naked choke with a scissors lock. Cena finally fights out, hits the dropping powerbomb, then the 5 knuckle shuffle, and then goes for the FU, but Lashley slides out and hits a power slam for 2. Lashley hits the Shock Treatment. Lashley calls for a Dominator, but Cena slides out of it and hits a FU. Both men are down, and Cena finally crawls over for a 2 count. Both men are up, and Lashley charges, but Cena drop toe holds him and locks on the STFU. Lashley scratches and claws his way to the ropes for the ropebreak. Cena lets go, and gathers himself for a moment, but Lashley charges and nails a spear for 2. They then fight into the corner, and Lashley puts Cena up on top looking for a superplex, but Cena grabs Lashley, and then FU’s him off the top rope for the pin.

Show Over.

The Inside Pulse

  • MVP defeated Matt Hardy to retain the United States Championship
  • Hornswoggle won the Cruiserweight Open to become the New Cruiserweight Champion
  • Carlito defeated The Sandman in a Singapore Cane on a Pole Match
  • Candice defeated Melina to retain the Woman’s Championship
  • Umaga defeated Jeff Hardy to retain the Intercontinental Championship

  • John Morrison defeated CM Punk to retain the ECW Championship
  • Randy Orton defeated Dusty Rhodes in a Texas Bullrope Match
  • The Great Khali defeated Batista & Kane to retain the World Heavyweight Championship
  • John Cena defeated Bobby Lashley to retain the WWE Championship

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