The SmackDown Report

Recap of the triple threat for the World Heavy Weight Championship at the Great American’s bash. Tonight, the Great Khali will have a Championship Celebration.

Usual opening video, ending with Khali instead of Edge of course, and Batista is starting us off.

Opening Contest: Batista vs. Deuce with Cherry and Domino
Deuce pushes Batista to start, more in an attempt to show off for Cherry though, before Batista pushes Deuce down and flexes for Cherry. Batista blows her a kiss before sending Deuce back down. Deuce sends Batista outside for a clothesline by Domino. Batista misses the corner spear and Deuce takes Batista down and goes for a pinfall before going after the arm. Batista with an arm drag, but Deuce gets the upper hand again with a kick followed by a snap mare. Deuce goes for the Crack Em In The Mouth but Batista hit’s a spear. Clotheslines by Batista, and spears in the corner follow. Spinebuster and Batista Bomb finishes.
Winner: Batista

The idea of Batista flirting with Cherry was cute; but otherwise this was just another forgettable match. One out of Ten.

Footage of Hornswoggle and the Cruiser Weight Championship. Jamie Noble is backstage with some interview guy, and he’s got a title shot up next. Noble says that everyone’s laughing at him, but I missed the rest of the interview because I had to put some stuff in the garbage. So, yeah.


Second Contest: Cruiser Weight Championship: Jamie Noble vs. Hornswoggle (Champion)
Takes a while for Hornswoggle to make his entrance, and Noble looks under the ring for him. Noble begins yelling at the announcer’s and turns around to see Hornswoggle standing in the ring. Noble puts Hornswoggle in the corner, but Hornswoggle kicks his feet and bits his calf muscle! Hornswoggle hides from Noble for a while, before going under the ring apron and biting the hands of Noble! Hornswoggle hits away on Noble before hitting a boot to the face of Noble for a pinfall attempt! Noble boots Hornswoggle down for some pretty good boos from the crowd, which is probably the biggest reaction he’s had since 2002. Noble chases Hornswoggle around the ring, but Hornswoggle gets back in the ring before the ten count!
Winner and Still Champion: Hornswoggle

And here I was thinking that they’d have Finlay do most of Hornswoggle’s fighting for him, which would‘ve been interesting too I think. Went on too long, but entertaining in a weird and cute way, but I hope creative has more than this planned out – there‘s only so many times this can be done. I suppose this means Rey Mysterio is no longer the ultimate underdog, however? One out of Ten.

Still to come: Matt Hardy and Ric Flair against Montel Vontavious Porter and Chris Masters, as well as Khali’s Celebration!


Video clip of the Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero I Quit Match from last October. Has it really been almost a year since we saw Rey Mysterio? Time flies, doesn’t it? This mysteriously leads us into the entrance of Chavo Guerrero

Third Contest: Chavo Guerrero vs. Eugene
Guerrero slaps Eugene to start before clubbing away on Eugene. Guerrero slams Eugene’s leg into the ring apron and then into the steel post before putting Eugene in a single legged boston crab. Eugene gets a back suplex on Eugene for a two count. Guerrero extends the leg of Eugene and kicks away at it. Guerrero hooks the leg of Eugene on the rope and pulls. Eugene with an inverted atomic drop. Eugene hulks up and gets an airplane spin on Guerrero; mat slam on Guerrero gets Eugene a two count. Guerrero with a dropkick to Eugene; Brainbuster and Frog Splash finishes.
Winner: Chavo Guerrero

I‘d have preferred it if Eugene had gotten more offence in, but still good none the less. Three out of Ten.

Matt Hardy is backstage, he and Flair do the whooos and the struts.


Fourth Contest: Montel Vontavious Porter and Chris Masters vs. Matt Hardy and Ric Flair
Masters and Hardy start off, though Porter teases starting off. Lock up and Masters forces Hardy into the corner, Hardy ducks a punch and gets into the centre of the ring. Hardy with a headlock on Masters but Masters pushes Hardy off and back into a shoulder block. Masters runs into an elbow but Masters clotheslines Hardy down. Porter tagged in and the pair get offence in on Hardy before Porter gets a headlock takedown on Hardy. Porter gets Hardy into the corner, where Masters gets a brief sleeper hold. Flair in with chops and an elbow to Porter. Flair with a shoulder body toss and quickly goes for the Figure Four but Porter kicks him off; Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate but Porter gets out of the ring.


We’re back and Flair is working the knee of Porter and Layfield is patronizing Cole. Hardy in and he takes Porter right away back to the face corner. Flair tagged back in with chops. Porter punches away at Flair in the corner and Masters gets tagged back in to beat down Flair. Porter tagged in again and the running big boot connects, two count over Flair. Porter works the arm of Flair. Masters tagged in with right hands to Flair. Leg drop by Masters. Masters with a scoop slam on Flair for a two count. Hardy rallies the fans while Masters works the arm of Flair. Flair and Masters exchange macho slaps before Flair kicks Masters in the gut and gets the chops. Flair tags out to Hardy.

Hardy with the clothesline bulldog combo on Masters, knocks Porter off the apron. Hardy gets the yodel elbow to the back of Masters and the Side Effect gets a two count, broken by Porter. Twist Of Fate on Masters gets the three count!
Winners: Matt Hardy and Ric Flair

I quite enjoyed this match, but it was nothing to take too much note of. Six out of Ten. Post match, Porter says that they’ve won nothing since they’ve not beat Porter himself. Hardy gets on the microphone and challenges Porter to another title match. Porter says that the title shot is off the belt, and that Hardy can’t beat Porter at anything. Hardy says that he’ll name any game and he’ll beat Porter at it and he’ll keep doing it until he has to defend his belt.

Khali’s title celebration is still to come.


Fifth Contest: Mark Henry vs. Cannon Fodder Jobber
Henry destroys the fodder. Bearhug ends it.
Winner: Mark Henry

-Five out of Ten. And we were doing so well tonight too, but at least this was very quick. Henry gets on the microphone post match and reintroduces himself and says there isn’t a man or beast who can beat the world’s strongest man. Military Press to the outside on the jobber.


Kristal Marshall and Theodore Long are looking at Bridal Magazines. Vickie Guerrero and Ron Simmons come in; Long asks Simmons to be his Best Man. Damn = Yes. Well, Wikipedia tells me that Long used to manage Simmons a while away, so I suppose that this was there for the fans of that era.

Another video recap of the Great American Bash’s triple threat, with Khali’s Celebration still to come.


Sixth Contest: Kane vs. Dave Taylor
Taylor slaps Kane to start. Taylor with uppercuts on Kane; Kane reverses an irish whip and hits Taylor with a big boot. Kane with a snap mare and elbow drop to Taylor. Taylor with more uppercuts before he gets in an arm lock and headlock variation. Kane with an arm drag but Taylor keeps the upper hand. Kane with spears in the corner and running clotheslines follow. Sideslam by Kane. Flying clothesline by Kane and the Chokeslam ends it.
Winner: Kane

Two out of Ten. Nothing to say about this one; but nice to see Taylor back on television and nice to see he wasn’t totally squashed.

Jimmy Wang Yang is listening to music backstage. Torrie Wilson is dressed up like a cowgirl, asking if her shorts are too short. Yee-haw is the reply. Um, k.


Seventh Contest: Jimmy Wang Yang and Torrie Wilson vs. Kenny Dykstra and Victoria
Dykstra gets a big boot to Yang right away for a two count. Dykstra with the pair of short arm clotheslines for a brief pinfall. Dykstra uses his body to trip Yang. Yang goes under Dykstra but Dykstra catches him and clubs away. Dykstra goes for a flapjack but Yang turns it into a dropkick. The women are in and Wilson hits clotheslines and a snap suplex for a one count. Victoria gets her TKO Sideslam for the two count. Victoria slams Wilson face first into the canvas, snap mare follows and Victoria forces her knee into the back of Wilson. Wilson gets a swinging neck breaker on Victoria; Dykstra trips Yang before he can be tagged in. Dykstra gets tagged in with Wilson but she kicks him right in the face and tags out to Yang, who gets a flying cross body to Dykstra. Yang with kicks for a two count, broken by Victoria. Wilson and Victoria go outside and Yang hit’s a Moonsault for the three count.
Winners: Jimmy Wang Yang and Torrie Wilson

Well, that was fun at least. Dykstra and Victoria look like a good pairing, if they have nothing better to do with Victoria in a few weeks then they should put her in his corner. Two out of Ten.


So, the Great Khali Celebration. Lots of dancers start us off, and Khali and Singh follow – Khali has some pretty crappy but big pyros. Khali does a speech, and he apparently reminds us that he’s the first ever Indian World Heavy Weight Champion and now ranks with some of the greatest and most famous Indians ever, including Mother Theresa, Ghandi, and that guy who directed Signs and the Village. Two of those are not like the other. More celebration and that includes a dancing Khali (take that Extreme Expose!) until Batista interrupts. Batista challenges Khali to a title match. Khali says something, but I don’t speak Indian and Batista probably doesn‘t either, so Batista attacks and takes Khali down with a spear. Batista poses in the ring as the show ends.

The Inside Pulse
Batista defeats Deuce by pinfall: 1/10
Hornswoggle defeats Jamie Noble by count out: 1/10
Chavo Guerrero defeats Eugene by pinfall: 3/10
Hardy and Flair defeat MVP and Masters by pinfall: 6/10
Mark Henry defeats Jobber by pinfall: -5/10
Kane defeats Dave Taylor by pinfall: 2/10
Yang and Wilson defeat Dykstra and Victoria by pinfall: 2/10
SmackDown 27/07/07: 10/70

Over all this was a big step up from recent weeks. The celebration ceremony almost dragged but was worth it to see Khali half dancing. This is the exact sort of set up which SmackDown should use. Much better to see five four minute matches, a forty second squash and one 10 minutes plus match as opposed to seeing four fifteen minute matches. And it helped this week that every match seemed to have a purpose: Batista, Kane, and Guerrero got good treatment in post PPV loss = weekly show victory treatment (especially good for Guerrero and Kane – looks like they’ll be using the momentum of Edge’s injury and even going to continue pushing Guerrero with Mysterio’s return soon), Henry got his usual squash even after being eliminated surprisingly early in the battle royal last week (which I didn’t realize was odd until a few moments ago – but that‘s in the past now, I suppose), the Hardy / Porter and Wilson / Victoria feuds continued, and there’s the possibility that this Cruiser Weight reign of Hornswoggle could be surprisingly entertaining. Nothing bad to say about this week’s episode, glad to say. And yes, that includes Henry’s squash – it was quick and meaningless. Anyways, until next week everyone!

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