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Bonnie Aarons .Fat Teena
Michael Adler .Dr. Alex Dupree
Garcelle Beauvais .Agent Julie Bascome
Art Bell .Himself
Stacy Daniel .Reporter #2
Michael Esparza .Gilberto
David Figlioli .Lanny Rierden
Amy Fuehrer .Reporter #1
Jane Galloway Heitz .Nurse Irma Beck
Spencer Garrett .Agent Phil Lazarus
Brian Geraghty .Jerrod Pointer
Cornelia Guest .Dr. Hannah Sommerly
Megan Henning .Anya
Jesse Hlubik .FBI Agent #2
Gregory Itzin .Dr. Greg Jameson
David A. Kimball .Surgeon
Theo Kypri .The Blue Man
Lindsay Lohan .Aubrey Fleming/Dakota Moss
Paula Marshall .Marnie Toland
Neal McDonough .Daniel Fleming
Brian McNamara .Fred Toland
Kenya Moore .Jazmin
Jennifer O’Kain .Mrs. Post
Julia Ormond .Susan Fleming
Michael Papajohn .Jacob K./Joseph K.
Colleen Porch .Vicky Redfeather
Jessica Rose .Marcia (as Jessica Lee Rose)
Rodney Rowland .Kenny Scaife
Donovan Scott .Sheriff Leon Cardero
Marc Senter .Pete the Biology Student
Will Shaffer .Painted Football Fan
Raha Sheik … Reporter #3
Eddie Steeples .Saeed the Prosthetic Tech
Thomas Tofel .Douglas Norquist
David Weisenberg .Anesthesiologist
Jason Wilburn .FBI Agent #1
As an accidental comedy, I Know Who Killed Me is second to none. As such, we should be willing to give it the benefit of the doubt as a supernatural thriller. Typically, a movie bears the title of accidental comedy because it takes itself too seriously. The punishment hardly fits the crime since no film should be criticized for its conviction. Where something like I Know Who Killed Me is docked points is in deciding how much of the humor was placed there on purpose.
Take, for instance, Lindsay Lohan: Stripper. That is the sort of self-referential joke that puts a smile on even the most cynical face. Any genre would shoulder the weight of said plot element with a wink and a sly grin. Even Lohan understands the meta aspects of her portrayal of Dakota, the daughter of a coke-head with an affinity for dropping F-bombs. Lohan’s dialed-up turn at playing herself is counterbalanced by her gee-whiz-goodie-two-shoes-going-to-Yale-in-the-fall character Aubrey, a send-up of Disney roles past.
Fortunately, Aubrey is abducted before you can say “Parent Trap II” and a straight comedy that probably would not have been all that funny is exchanged for something even better, a murder mystery! Aubrey returns as “Dakota”, or Dakota returns instead of Aubrey, depending on what angle a viewer chooses to believe, and the questions start piling up. “Who is the abductor?” will likely be one of the last queries answered, as that plotline is rendered superfluous in a hurry. Of course, unless there is a cameo at the end of the film, viewers would hardly care since I Know Who Killed Me is a one woman show.
It must be said that this particular show is, at worst, boringly unique, but the film thrives when all involved forget that they are supposed to be serious. Some nifty film editing by Lawrence Jordan and a few decent scares are small bonuses that a better director would have given more emphasis. But as it stands, I Know Who Killed Me is a throwaway suspense thriller noteworthy only for the presence of Lohan.
While watching Lohan tease nudity might do the trick for some, others would be better served to save 10 dollars by watching E! and the like to see Lohan’s weekly show, which is, incidentally, rated R for drug use, brief nudity, and language.
FINAL RATING (ON A SCALE OF 1-5 BUCKETS):