Okay, we’re back to the Original ECW music today. What’s the deal? Promotion with Marilyn Manson end?
No intro video and we’re down to business with the champ, John Morrison, making his way out first. He’s without the Johnny Nitro jacket, but there’s still a chance he’s gonna wear it later in the show. HE’s got a mic and shushes the crowd to start. He’s our portal to the infinite. HE’s the shaman of sexy, the new face of extreme. We can either join him in the palace of wisdom or continue being slaves to society. Conform to our culture or follow the ECW to paradise. We’re going to continue the Kurt Angle Invitational, I mean, John Morrison challenge. He insults the Cardinals and Diamondbacks. Rather than Matt Lienert or Randy Johnson, he’s gonna fight the best athlete in Arizona.
Johnny Nitro over a Bag of Beans
It seems like they’re heavy scripting Morrison’s promos. We haven’t seen him interact with anyone in this persona just yet. Post match (ten seconds later) he continues his open challenge and like clockwork, we have Tommy Dreamers music.
Dreamer reminds him that he’s been around longer than fifteen minutes. Is there someone who can beat him? Dreamer thinks he can. Cue Elijah Burke’s music. Burke calls Dreamer prehistoric when it comes to ECW, and that he’s fifteen years past his time. Burke thinks that he should fight the golden boy with the silver tongue. Cue CM Punk’s music! Now we’ve got all the participants from last week’s main event as the crowd is HEAVILY behind Punk here. Funny, Punk seems the most relaxed of the four on the mic. Punk says that if he doesn’t last the fifteen minutes or beat him, he’ll never challenge again.
Morrison says that he’s just fought a grueling match and he doesn’t want to fight another. Instead, we’re going to get a triple threat to figure out the #1 contender. We get a four way stare down going into the commercial. SO EXTREME!
Stevie Richards over Kevin Thorn by roll up
So will Stevie continue his winning streak? Not likely. Maybe he’ll show me. I’ll see. Thorn powers Richards around the ring throwing him from pillar to post. Thorn goes to work on the back right away stretching ou Stevie in the ropes. Stevie goes for some roundhouse kicks to the legs and a drop kick. Looks like he went for a monkey flip, but instead Thorn threw him to the canvas. Thorn puts Stevie over a shoulder and drops like he would for a backbreaker, but Stevie was over the shoulder.
Eventually Thorn gets Stevie into a torture rack and after a moment drops again and I think Stevie’s dead. Thorn puts Stevie over the ropes in the corner and punts his back. He goes for a shoulder block in the corner and Stevie sidesteps it and rolls him up.. AND MAKES THE PIN!
HE SHOWED US! Kinda surprising.
A crappy Big Daddy V promo and then we have a brand spankin new “Don’t Try This at Home” video. I kinda liked the old one. “How do you learn to fall from a twenty foot ladder?” I suppose it had Benoit, so they needed to replace it.
Big Daddy V over three random dudes by eating them for a snack
Poor guys. Finally the Boogeyman returns, and with some new face paint and black contacts. He’s kinda got the nWo Red and Black version of his face paint. Big Daddy V and Striker clear the ring and throw up the “V” sign as they walk to the back. Meh.
Hey, it’s Gary Coleman shilling a loan company that has a low percentage rate 99.25! What a sweet deal that is!
It’s time for the Nitro Girls! They’re dancing in the aisle today. Today’s song is “The Way You Make Me Feel” by that child molester who used to look like a black kid, but is now and old white man. Dear God, WHO DOES LAYLA HAS A LIVE MIC? WHY? Oh, to introduce the Miz. The girls cuddle up to him and he informs everyone he’s a chick magnet.
The Miz over Balls Mahoney by neckbreaker
Great. I love watching Balls job to a guy from the Real World. Balls with a headlock to start, Miz turns it around to a hammer lock, Balls steps behind and gets one of his own. Miz uses momentum to send Balls out of the ring. Miz goes after the arm, Balls power out and his the Balls punches, nailing the last one and hits the Nutcracker suite, but the Miz kicks out at two. TWO!
The Miz gets a three count on a knee lift and nec kbreaker? What? The Miz leaves with all three of the Nitro Girls. and we leave this segment with a recap of Dreamers’ career.
Before the commercial Burke applauds Dreamers video and says that it was supposed to be his one minute, but he’ll need an hour.
Did you know HHH is coming back? Supposedly we’ll see him at SAturday Night’s Main Event in MSG.
CM Punk over Tommy Dreamer & Elijah Burke by Go To Sleep
So we’re back in the middle of the match and Punk gets a two count of Dreamer. TWO! Tommy sends Punk out of the ring and pulls Burke into it. Burke gets sent to the corners and gets a suplex and a slingshot sommersault senton by Punk, then Punk gets a neck breaker by Dreamer for two. TWO!
Burke hits Punk with a running shoulder block to a seated Punk who gets hit hard and actually says “wow, that one hurt” while he’s down. Burke pounds on Punk then starts to work on the neck from behind as Dreamer is nowhere to be seen. Punk reverses it into a belly to back, hits a drop kick and gets a two. TWO.
Arm bar and a few kicks, then Burke gets sent to the corner by Punk where Punk gets body dropped to the outside on a failed attempt to give the rising knee. Dreamer’s back in throwing punches and hitting a bulldog on Burke for a two. TWO!
Burke powers Dreamer into the corner, throws him to the ropes and hits a sweep/clothesline. Dreamer gets thrown to the corner and Burke gives a few kicks to the back until Dreamer is in position for the hestation elbow where Burke ran a little too fast and nearly fell over the other side of the turnbuckle, but he hits it.
Punk grabs Burke outside of the ring and sends him into the steel steps. Punk hits a sunset flip on Dreamer for two. TWO! Punk hits a knee to the forehead on Dreamer and Punk is the only man in the ring.Punk runs and dives between the ropes and splashes Dreamer and Burke. Looks like Punk tweaked the knee on that landing. Punk’s got Burke in the ring and can only get a two. TWO!
Burke gets Punk in a inside cradle for a two, Punk hits a roundhouse to a seated Burke’s face, but Dreamer prevents the pin. Dreamer hits the DDT on Punk, but Burke breaks up the pin. Burke hits elbows on everyone and stomps the back of Punk’s head. Dreamer grabs him from behind and slaps on the Texas Cloverleaf! Dreamer drags Burke to the middle of the ring and Punk is getting to his feet and ends the move with a kick to the back. Punk goes for the pin on Burke, but only gets a two. TWO!
Punk hits a tilt a whirl double underhook backbreaker. AWEOSME move. Burke is hurting and begging off, but Punk goes after him anyway. Punk drops Burke on the top turnbuckle, but Burke fights him off, just long enough for Dreamer to run in and hit a superplex while Punk hits a powerbomb on Dreamer. Dreamer kicks out at two. TWO
Punk targets Burke next with a rising knee, and attempts the bulldog, but Burke sends Punk into Dreamer face to face and attempts a bodyslam that’s reversed into the GTS. One. Two. Three.
Awesome match. Next week we’ve got Morrison vs. Punk in a 15 minute challenge. Post match we get a handshake between Punk and Dreamer and Punk celebrates in the ring.
Nothing of note except that main event. And what a main event!