Pardon The Pulse

Insider

Aloha all and welcome to another edition of us talking about the hottest topics in sports. We were all Michal Vicked out last week, but things just keep on getting interesting as he has lost almost every sponsorship he had and his co-defendant said Vick funded all the fights. SCREW-ED!

And since CJ is deathaphobic, I would like to take this chance to remember legendary coach Bill Walsh who passed away Monday at the age of 75 after a long battle with leukemia. A true innovator in the world of professional football with his incredible offensive prowess and his strict discipline that spawned three Super Bowls with the 49ers dynasty back in the eighties, Walsh will long be remembered. His offensive creations also paved the way for what is now known as the “West Coast Offense.” He lost the battle to the same disease that took his son Steve Walsh back in 2002, but he fought hard as he always encouraged every player he coached to do the same. You shall be long remembered every time a football is thrown or a player is yelled at. Rest in peace Coach Walsh.

Ladies and gentlemen, please…

1.) KG Traded For A Whole Team…Virtually

Paulie: Wow. So. Boston finally got KG. Good on them. Too bad they had to trade away their whole bench to do it. Do they really expect a starting 5 of mostly aging guys to play 45+ minutes a night? Boston will bust out of the gates pretty quickly next season, but they’ll run out of gas before the All Star break. I just can’t believe Garnett in the green. Oh well, at least he didn’t get stuck going to Knickerbockers hell.

Charles Joseph: I think this is actually a good trade for Boston. Sure all three of them are aging, Allen will be 32, KG will be 31, and Pierce will be 30, but they can all share the scoring load and they should all help each other stay fresh. And they all share the same goal, they want to win a championship. None of them have won one before, and they all want to win one. I think this makes the C’s the top team in the East and they should contend for a title for the next 2 years. It works for the wolves, even though it sucks for them. If they did it 2 months ago, they could have got the 5th pick, but for now they just have to live through a few years of crap, which we would have anyway, and wait for Jefferson, Foye, McCants and Brewer to mature. Oddly enough…I may watch more Wolves’ games now that I have the last few years.

Danny: This is a huge trade for Boston and while it may not automatically make them contenders to win it all…it does make them contenders to represent a weak Eastern Conference. The trio of Garnett, Pierce, and Allen will lead them right off the bat. The young Rajon Rondo will make a great compliment to Allen and their center is Kendrick Perkins who is young as well, but needs to step up his game some. But with scorers like Pierce and KG, Perkins can focus more on defense. Brian Scalabrine and rookie Glen Davis out of LSU will also bulk up both sides of the ball, but now the Celts only have nine players under contract and need to do some searching. Fast and cheap.

As for the Wolves, they made out like bandits here. While the Celtics will compete for 2 or 3 more years as their stars age, the Wolves have built a solid core team that could be the start of something big. And also getting those two first-round picks for next year will give them even more talent right away. Both teams made good here.

2.) Jags Sign Couch…Culpepper A Raider?

Danny: So the Jags offered Culpepper a 3-year deal worth $15 million and he turned it down. Big retard. So they still have Leftwich and Garrard, and go out and sign a former number 1 pick to a “no-year deal.” Yeah that’s right. Peter King pointed out that Couch got a 2-year deal worth the veteran minimum this season and a little bit more next year, but not a cent of it is guaranteed money. I’d say that Jags are in a no-lose situation.

Meanwhile, ol’ Daunte wants a starting job, and I doubt he’ll get one anywhere. Especially this late in the offseason when he won’t have time to step in and provide a leadership role right from the important start of a season because he can’t learn the offense in time. But he is scheduled in Oakland for a workout sometime this week because number 1 JaMarcus Russell is still in the middle of a holdout. I don’t expect Russell to hold out much longer though considering the crop of unsigned first-rounders is down to like six at this point. Culpepper is destined to now be Kurt Warner. Find yourself a good back-up job somewhere, take the contract, and if an injury occurs, you’ll get your chance. Otherwise…just hold the damn clipboard and shut up.

Paulie: On behalf of Julius Peppers, Kris Jenkins, and the rest of the Carolina Panthers defense that crushed Daunte Culpepper’s knee and, apparently, his spirit on that brisk autumn day two years ago, I’d just like to say…
“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”.

I know I’ve been saying this about many NFL players here recently. But Culpepper is a dumbass. When you’re on the tail end of your career you do not turn down that kind of contract. It’s a buyer’s market for QB’s right now in the NFL. The Raiders are probably his last shot. And he’ll have to know that he’ll get 4-8 games as starter before Russell gets the hang of the playbook and gets put on the field. If the Raiders pass on him, or he gets all indignant and turns down a contract offer, then you can be sure to catch him throwing passes for the Saskatchewan Moose Humpers in the vaunted CFL.

It just seems now that as more days pass the answer to the question of “Who made who?” between Moss and Culpepper could only be answered as, “They’re matching pair, one without the other, is nothing.” That is, unless Moss decides to show up in Pats land.

Charles Joseph: I guess I’m the Culpepper supporter here. Of course, I do have a Culpepper Vikess jersey. He can still be a starter in the league, for the Vikings for example. But at this point I think the Raiders are his best option. He can go there, and be told, “You’re starting 6 games, then we’re giving Russell the reigns.” Then he’s got 6 games to prove he’s still got it. If they go 5-1, 4-2, in that stretch it would be hard to bench him as the starter, then he can go back out next year and get the contract he wants. He’s not going to get it this year, so he has to wait until next year.

3.) Baseball Trade Deadline

Charles Joseph: Dull deadline just like expected. Ranger’s sold off pretty good. Sending off two high priced guys for a lot of good young players, Tex to Atlanta for Salty, and Gagne to Boston for a couple minor league guys. Braves did real good getting Tex because he adds another big bat to the middle of their lineup to make up for Andruw playing like crap this year. Along with Dotel in the bullpen, the Braves should be able to run down the Mets and pass them. Mets are still the top Wild Card team because I think of the second basemen added in that division Castillo is better than Iguchi. I think the Yankees pretty much put up the white flag trading Proctor, one of their weaknesses was a bad bullpen and they just made it worse. Unless they are permanently moving Clemens to the bullpen they are done.

I didn’t mind the Twins trading Castillo, we weren’t going to resign him at the end of the year, so pick up a couple prospects for him and hand second base off to Alexi Casilla for the rest of the year. I would have liked to see us pick up a bat, Dunn would have been my choice, and see if we could maybe resign him. Overall, kind of boring day.

Danny: I don’t know as much of what has happened but it was dull as far as I can tell. The only thing I am happy about is that the Giants finally unloaded Matt Morris. Morris has underachieved for quite a while now and I am happy to be rid of both him and Armando Benitez in the bullpen. I don’t see how OF Rajan Davis is really an even trade, but hopefully the “player to be named” will build it up a bit more.

Oh and anything that pisses off the Yankees even more (Gagne to the Red Sox) is a-ok with me!

Paulie: There was a trade deadline? Coulda fooled me. Bah. Baseball. The Cubs did jack all. I didn’t care.

4.) Hall Of Fame Game – Football Is Back

Paulie: It’s back? I don’t see a game on my schedule till the 9th. Oh. Wait. It’s on NFL Network. DAMN YOUS TIME WARNER CABLE!
*SIGH* But, I can hear the pads smashing. The signals being called. Oh hells yeah, I can smell it. It’s football season. The time of year that the wife understands that she needs to get any and all work out of me on Saturday mornings, unless NC State is playing a late game. Time to sit with my two year old son on the couch and cheer on the Panthers. Time for beer and chips and salsa and Rotel cheese dip. Time to wish, for Christmas this year, the whole family chips in to get me my 50 inch flat panel HDTV.

Charles Joseph: Don’t worry Paulie, I get NFLN and probably won’t watch it. It’s a preseason game between two teams that no one cares about.

*ducks*

Damnit Danny, stop throwing stuff. But come on, It’s preseason for crying out loud. The first preseason game, the starters will play all of 30 seconds because everyone is afraid they’ll get hurt. Whooptyf*ckingdoo, they’re grown men let um play. If they can’t handle a bump and bruise they shouldn’t be in the league. They pump themselves up with enough artificial crap they barely feel anything as it is. Call me when the season starts, it’ll mean more that I still don’t care then.

Danny: Look Frabbit, it is the beginning of football. Sure it will be a meaningless game and the starters will play all of one series each, but it means that football is here. It means that we are finally at the start of seeing it on TV. Yes training camps started last week, and NFLN gives some good coverage of that, but now the games are here. One month until the regular season starts.

And I will throw shit at you because my boys are not worthless. I do believe it shall be you and I in the first week of Fantasy Football CJ, let’s see who the better man is. But even if the Saints weren’t playing in the HOF game, I’d still be excited about it and watch. I have been feening for this since the beginning of February. And it also means that college football is right around the corner too. August is an exciting month for me because it leads up to the big Fall/Winter seasons of nothing but football, football, football!

5.) NASCAR At Indy

Charles Joseph: I’ll be honest here…I don’t see the big deal about Indy. I know we talked about this too back during the Indy 500, but I just don’t see it. I realize the track is really old, but that a great race does not make. Ya know what would make it a great race? If they went back paved the track with all bricks again. That’d make it fun to watch. As for the race that actually took place, Stewart was pretty dominating. He was clearly the best car all day and he’s getting hot and is going to be a threat during the chase. The race was basically caution after caution for the first half, but it went green for the last ¼ or so and was pretty exciting ending. Not knowing if Harvick was going to hold off Stewart or if Montoya was going to catch them both. Harvick fell way back in the last laps, and Jeff Gordon pulled in another top 5 finish. If we were still running the old points system, Gordon would lock up the championship with about 2-3 races early, but with the chase it’s going to be close again and it will probably come down to Stewart and Gordon.

Danny: See, how I feel about this is how I feel when the announcers make such huge ass deals about Lambeau Field or Wrigley (sorry Matt) or stuff like that. Sure the stadiums are old and have so much history, but when it comes down to it…it is simply about home-field advantage, and that is never saying much. Sure I love the Superdome and Tiger Stadium, but any team can come in on any given day and beat us. Same goes with Indy. Yes the track is old, yes the track is history, but that isn’t going to make this race any more exciting to me then any other NASCAR event. As for the winner here, I’m going to take Gordon because I just have a gut feeling unless he gets taken out and fwips his wid…errr flips his car.

Paulie: I don’t give a damn about Indy. But something DID come out of it that bugs me. Why in the bloody blue hell does NASCAR dock points for stuff that happens off the track? I mean, I know Hangman Goodell is getting a rep for his suspensions, but it’s not like he’s going back and saying “The Titans have to give back two wins this year because Pacman Jones is a dumbass!” Oooooh, he cursed. They had to use the bleepy thing! Bullshit. Fine the man, dandy, but don’t take away what Stewart did on the track because he let out a wordy dird. It’s kind of hard to take them seriously when they have crap like Bud, Coors, and Jack Daniels prominently displayed on the hoods of the cars but have an issue when one of their guys curses.

PEE-YOMPS (pimps)

Like movies, then head over to The DVD Lounge where there are a lot of good people watching a lot of crap so you don’t have to. And for a person who has over 1300 DVDs and watches every movie imaginable, Travis really finds some things that even I have never heard of.

Popcorn Junkies is a place you really need to go check out as well because there are great people like Caroline, Ping, Michaelangelo, Kubryk, and more bringing you news and movie reviews at all hours of the night and day.

Short links list this week cuz the site keeps messing up on me as I try to do them!

That is it for this week as we had a lot to talk about and I am willing to bet that things are going to be a lot longer each week as football draws closer and we get into the heart of the season. I have to watch carefully how topics are chosen each week because CJ has something hanging over my head that he could use at any moment.

Ewww no…ya sickos. I’m not Paulie!

Click our names, go here in the forums…it doesn’t matter. But that is how you can yell at us and let us know how crappy we’re doing or if you wish for us to talk about something in particular.

Have a good weekend everyone and enjoy the Hallo Of Fame game, although I doubt you will take as much pride in it as I will.

DO: See 1408 for it rocks on many levels.

DON’T: Let a dog have steak and then sleep in the same bed as you. For some reason, their farts just get absorbed into the blankets and you smell them all night.

Til next week, auf wiedersehen.