Anger – The Only Emotion

This past weekend I attended the championship game of the Arena Football League, Arenabowl XXI at the New Orleans Arena. The San Jose Sabercats and Columbus Destroyers were playing, and I could care less about either of them. But it was a championship game and more football, so I decided to attend. But as much fun as football is live; having to deal with other fans really is a huge pain in the ass. There are many different types of them and they can fall into numerous different categories, much like the moviegoers.

First of all there are the late-comers. You know those people who show up halfway through the first quarter, see someone sitting in their seats, and then cause a big ass stink about it. They have to go get the usher and then question him as to whether they were looking at the right seats. You know you were, don’t play stupid. Then those who were sitting there get up blocking my view and right afterwards, the actual seat owners take forever to get settled right in my view. Only then do I hear this, “We missed half the whole first quarter because those guys were in our seats.” No, it was YOUR fault…show up on time assholes.

Let’s next look at the morons who scream throughout the entire game. I have been known to lose my voice from cheering so hard or getting so worked up and shouting at players, refs, and coaches. But screaming throughout every single second is unnecessary. To hear this, “COME ON!!! LET’S MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN!” shouted repeatedly during f*cking halftime just instills migraines into those around the shouter. Give it a rest buddy and wait for something to actually happen on the field.

I think the next group happens to be my favorite and also the most disgusting and they are the drunken older couples. There was a couple sitting about two seats over and one row in front of me. I’d say they were in their mid to late fifties and highly unattractive, not to mention drunk off their asses. He was in a t-shirt and jean shorts while she was in stretch pants, a leopard sleeveless top, and heels. She got up to go pee about forty times and each time she did, she would pass in front of him, semi-straddle him, and they’d make-out. Incredibly disgusting yet amusing.

And last but not least, let us not forget the non-fans/early leavers. The non-fans who want to go for no real reason except that they think it will be fun, and then they get there and don’t enjoy themselves. They proceed to constantly bitch and moan and want to leave. Well, let them catch a ride then with the early leavers. You know who I’m talking about. Those that believe the game is won and leave halfway through the fourth quarter so they can “beat the traffic.” Are you serious? You spent all that money, time, and effort to come to a game that you could have watched entirely at home for free with no traffic? Stay your ass at home next time and let someone who would enjoy the game have your ticket. And they will also probably show the respect the players playing til the last minute deserve.

I can’t help but go to live events whenever I get the chance because they are just so enjoyable. The smacking of the pads, the squeaks on the court, or the crack of the bat just makes for something truly phenomenal if experienced in person. And I just have to tell you that I can’t think of a more breathtaking place to be in then Tiger Stadium aka Death Valley on a Saturday night. I only wish that filling the rest of the seats were people exactly like me.