Countdown To The L Word Season 5 – Top 400 Moments #400-391


And so the 5 month march begins. With Season 5 still being filmed and the expected start date most likely Early January 2008, it’s time to fill in the time and spark up the anticipation. So now to celebrate and for the sake of a little fun, I now present you with the Top 400 Moments from the first four Seasons of L. We’ll go ten at a time for now, so we can get the ball rollin’.

Top 400 Moments Of The L Word

#400 – When Alice Met Dana (Last Dance)

The Group Of Friends have arrived at Camp Imalahkaha to scatter Dana’s ashes. While on their way to the Waterfall, they stop by what was most likely Dana’s room while she attended tennis camp there at a younger age. They reminisce about Dana and for Alice, it’s hearkening back to when they first met. Going back several years, Alice is interviewing Dana for a sports magazine. Dana mentions another girl who was the leader of the group and how great and beautiful she was, prompting Alice to want to dig deeper into that having more meaning than Dana lets on. Offended by where this is going, Dana cuts off the interview and ends the first conversation between herself and Alice by letting her know that she’d be hearing from her lawyer. Alice lets us know that things never got to that, thankfully and a short time later, Alice and Dana meet up once again by chance. This time, the conversation’s more friendly and they decide to eventually have lunch together. From there, a bond was born. It was only the beginning.

#399 – Lesbian Dynamics (Land Ahoy)

Aboard the Olivia cruise ship, Dana takes part in a Q&A session, along with some other women for an audience seated across from them. Among those taking part in the Q&A is Phoebe Sparkle who has written books and conducted lectures on everything involving sex. One of the questions that is asked of Dana is someone asking to marry her, which Dana jokingly says, “Sure,” getting laughs from the crowd. She reminds everyone that she’s happily taken, with Phoebe speculating that she and her girlfriend (Alice) have a very healthy and experimental relationship, which at this point is very true for them. Eventually, as Shane and Carmen (Jenny’s girlfriend) sit near, Jenny asks Phoebe about three-ways, getting a roar of approval from the audience. Carmen and Shane both look perplexed, as Jenny’s attitude has been shifting towards this idea since arriving on the ship. Jenny, knowing that there is sexual tension between her girlfriend and Shane is beginning to subtly let them know that she knows this…in her usual obnoxious way.

#398 – Very Much My Boss (Lassoed)

Cowgirl Night at the Planet is in progress as the Group Of Friends have gathered a table to talk and hang out. Everything appears normal enough when Bette suddenly notices her boss from California U, Phyllis Kroll at the Planet, wandering about. Phyllis notices Bette and begins to make her way over to the table. Bette decides very quickly to give a warning to the rest of her friends of who Phyllis is, which is someone who’s in her fifties, married with children, just now coming out of the closet and is very much her boss. Phyllis arrives at the table and is introduced to the rest of the gang, including, Papi, Shane, Helena, Jenny and most notably for Phyllis, Alice. Phyllis is welcomed as now being among friends.

#397 – I Guess It Grows On Trees (Left Hand Of The Goddess)

Whistler, Canada is cold and snowy on this morning as the Group Of Friends arrive for Shane and Carmen’s wedding. Everything has been arranged by Helena and Peggy, Helena’s mother is there to attend as well. As they enter the lobby, Carmen’s family waits, all in matching red jackets. About a month and a half earlier, Carmen’s family was not happy about Carmen coming out, but now they were here to support her. Mercedes, Carmen’s mom refers to Shane as the groom and takes Carmen with her, citing traditional wedding rules of the bride and groom not seeing each other before the wedding, considering it bad luck. Almost lost in all of this joy is a mildly annoyed Peggy who turns to a nearby Alice and says, “I guess it grows on trees.” In that one statement, it’s revealed or at the very least, strongly hinted that it isn’t Helena paying for all of this (apparently including the Morales’ jackets), but Peggy, with Helena having free reigns of the funds.

#396 – Melvin Digs Biology (Lawfully)

Bette’s father, Melvin is in town and so he, Bette and Bette’s partner, Tina decide to have dinner together. The dinner is going well enough until Bette informs Melvin that Tina is pregnant. Melvin, old fashioned man he is doesn’t quite understand what this is supposed to mean to him. Having possibly heard Bette refer to Tina as her, “partner,” for so long, Melvin at all times refers to her simply as, “Miss Kennard.” Bette decides to make things a little more obvious, informing Melvin that he’s going to be a grandfather and he refuses to see how. “Are you going to be taking care of this child?” he asks. “Daddy, yes!” is Bette’s reply. Melvin simply doesn’t accept the notion of Tina being able to bear his grandchild. Bette informs Melvin that the donor was, “African American,” and that makes no difference to Melvin, either. Bette’s hope of Melvin acceptance goes down the drain and Tina, who was uncomfortable to begin with decides to leave. Melvin, not missing a beat decides to make his order to the waiter.

#395 – Misadventure In A Unisex Bathroom (Lies, Lies, Lies)

Unisex bathrooms always have the potential to provide for interesting scenarios and at the Planet, the bathroom will eventually garner something of a legendary status. An example of this would be this particular day as Tim’s fiancee, Jenny engages in what is yet another tryst with Marina inside one of the stalls while Tim goes over his swim team notes in the cafe, unaware. He knows she’s in the bathroom and tired of waiting, needing to go himself decides to go in. Tim enters the bathroom letting Jenny know he was on his way in and asking if she’s alright. Marina and Jenny quickly scramble about to not get caught. Still unaware, Tim enters another stall to urinate as Jenny slips out. Marina and Jenny will not be caught…this time.

#394 – Shay Runs Away (Livin’ La Vida Loca)

Meet Marta. Former police officer (referencing her appearance as such in Season 1 episode, Locked Up) and now apathetic employee of Wax. Shay is with Shane at Wax due to Shane not wanting Shay around the foulmouthed Jenny at home while Shane isn’t there. Shay however isn’t having a good day. He spills his beverage on the counter and one of Shane’s employees is none too happy about it. Shay goes outside, upset with Shane wanting Marta to keep an eye on him. Marta ignores this request. With the situation resolved, Shane tells Marta that Shay can come back in. Marta looks outside and doesn’t see Shay, so she goes back to a nearby mirror to check herself out and apply lipstick. Upon being promptly yelled at by Shane, Marta informs her that Shay’s gone. Shane reminds Marta that he’s only nine years old and upset at Marta’s attitude, fires her on the spot. “You’re fired.” Marta simply rolls her eyes, replying, “Again?” In subsequent episodes, Marta would still be referred to as still working there so this probably isn’t the first (or last) time.

#393 – Tina!!! (Life, Loss, Leaving)

After having Alice let Bette know that she’ll be there so that Bette won’t be there, Tina arrives at home to gather some clothes. It’s been a painful split between the two as Season 2 has started. Bette, longing to talk to Tina and get back together decides to wait there for Tina, against Tina’s wishes. Tina arrives in the bedroom and is not happy to see Bette there. Bette tries to talk to her and even tries to reverse things a bit to Tina being partially at fault for the dissolvment of the relationship. Tina reminds Bette that between the two of them, Bette was the one having the affair with, “the carpenter,” (Candace). Upset and with her clothes, Tina leaves with Bette left only to yell Tina’s name out of anger, despair and desperation. “Tina!!!”

#392 – Phyllis Comes Out To Bette (Livin’ La Vida Loca)

The L Word has numerous moments of someone coming out and this is one of them. Bette is Dean of CU’s School of the Arts and Phyllis is Bette’s boss. In Phyllis’s office, the talk is pure business, but Phyllis has her mind elsewhere. Phyllis asks about how Bette’s been able to be so strong and unapologetic about who she is, which for Bette was just something that came to her naturally. Phyllis informs Bette she might be a lesbian and goes over feelings she’s had for the longest time. It’s a time of personal crisis for Phyllis as she asks Bette if given her circumstances of being married and in her fifties if it’s too late to come out. Bette just smiles resassuringly, letting her know that it’s never too late.

#391 – Roommate Rules (Lassoed)

Helena isn’t the tidiest roommate in the World as Alice makes clear to Jenny while Jenny is visiting her apartment. The conversation at one point goes over meeting Papi and how she is, having had sex with Alice and then a short time later with Helena, Alice’s roommate, but Alice doesn’t seem to mind too much. Again, it’s just how Papi is, according to Alice. Helena arrives from an unsuccessful quest for a job, mentioning that she’s either overqualified or just doesn’t have the skills necessary for whatever jobs she’s applied for. This leads to Alice having the talk about the Roommate Rules. There are parts of the apartment that are Helena’s space and part of the apartment that are Alice’s space and that these spaces need to be respected, prompting Alice to roll Helena, seated in a rolling chair to the other side of the room.

Tomorrow, Moments #390-381!