Pardon The Pulse

Hello all.

CJ here, tons to talk about this week with A-Rod hitting his 500th, Bonds finally got to number 756, Glavine winning his 300th, NFL Preseason starting, Pacman joining TNA, Woods winning his first tourney as a dad, Kurt Busch dominating the Triangle Track at Pocono, Little E reportedly deciding on sponsorships for next year, Michael Vick is still an idiot, Jake Brown fell 45 feet at the X-Games and walked away with a bruised lung and a broken wrist, a bridge collapsed making the Twins postpone a game and stadium ground breaking.

So we have plenty to talk about this week, but instead of ANY of that, I said to Danny, “Hey, we write an online sports article, that makes us fantasy experts as well right?” He wholeheartedly agreed…Paulie doesn’t get a say…he just gets an e-mail Monday morning telling him what to do. So all you fantasy geek heads please…

1.) Top Four Quarterbacks

Paulie: Ahh, the QB, in Fantasy terms, not really a position to hitch your wagon to if you can avoid it. A good one may win you a game or two. A serviceable one will do you fine. But a bad one will kill you in negative point leagues. Just ask the woman who’s taken Michael Vick in my work league the last couple of seasons. Now, Paulie’s top four fantasy QB’s:

1. Peyton Manning – DUH! Manning is the ONLY fantasy QB that’s ever worthy of a first round pick. He may not always put up gaudy yardage numbers but he can ALWAYS be counted on to throw 2-4 TDs a game.

2. Carson Palmer – Palmer has all the weapons around him to be a successful fantasy QB and is in a sure fire pass happy offense. And being able to handcuff him to either Ocho Cinco or TJ Whosyozulu has been a recipe for success in past leagues I’ve been in.

3. Phillip Rivers – Yeah, I’m biased with Phillip. Sue me. Believe it or not, the Chargers are more than Ladainian. With a receiving corps that’s really starting to come into their own, not to mention a little power forward named Antonio Gates, and Tomlinson as a safety valve, Rivers is in for a strong year. The man has never missed a scheduled start. He’s accurate, has range, and really doesn’t turn the ball over. Picking up Rivers in the 4th-6th round of your draft would net you a gold mine of value.

4. Here’s where it gets hard. Do you go with Brady? Hasselbeck? One of the Rookies? Tavaris Jackson? No, the number four fantasy QB this year…
Jon Kitna – He’s got the weapons at receiver. He’s got Mike Martz in his second year running the offense. He’s got ROY WILLIAMS AND CALVIN JOHNSON! Not to mention a little guy who caught 98 passes last year in Mike Furrey. Not to mention, Detroit’s defense might just be bad enough this year that Kitna and the offense will be on the field A LOT this year from teams scoring so fast on them.

Charles Joseph: You better have put Jackson there just to screw with me…cause that’s just cruel. I’d flip Palmer and Rivers, and my fourth would be Brady simply because of the addition of Moss. Manning is clearly the number one. I like Rivers for the reasons you said but I put him ahead of Palmer because I think this year when the Chargers get closer to the goal line teams are going to put 10-25 players on the line to keep LdT out of the endzone which should boost Rivers TD passes and he’ll probably run a few in too.

Danny: The leader of the team, but not the leader of the fantasy world. It is the running back who racks up the most points on a fantasy team, but you sure as hell better have a good quarterback on your squad. The only thing is that you better make sure that QB has some good weapons to throw too and a good offensive line. Cuz without Jerry Rice and John Taylor, even Joe Montana would have been garbage. But let’s see who this year’s cream of the crop are.

4.) Tom Brady, New England. The guy just has 50 million weapons to go to now and I think he is going to have to use them because I just don’t see Laurence Maroney being as good as people think he can be as the featured back. Moss, Stallworth, Brown, Welker, Washington, Gaffney, etc…the list goes on. Not to mention Ben Watson at tight end. Brady is going to put up some points this season, no question.

3.) Carson Palmer, Cincinnati Bengals. He lost his third big weapon for eight games with the suspension of Chris Henry’s stupid ass. But with Ocho-Cinco and TJ on the receiving end, Palmer’s going to have a big year. Also take into consideration that Rudi Johnson is a damn fine RB that will open up the passing game even more to up Palmer’s numbers even more.

2.) Drew Brees, New Orleans Saints. No I’m not being biased you asses. I’m talking to you CJ. He led the league in passing last year and well, he got even more weapons to play with this season. Colston, Henderson, Patten, Meachem, Bush, Deuce, Copper, Eric Johnson…the list goes on and on. He has a great pocket presence and an offensive line that protects him very well (thank God Jammal Brown’s knee injury was only a bruise).

1.) Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts. Do you really need an explanation on this one?

2.) Top Four Running Backs

Danny: The points horse of fantasy teams, the running back. There are a lot of them out there, but your best bet is to honestly grab one in the first two rounds before the big names are gone. Although you never really know who will have a break out year. And with more and more teams doing the two-headed monster in the backfield, that makes for more available good names. So with that I give you my top four RB’s:

4.) Reggie Bush, New Orleans Saints. Still not a starter as Deuce has that role but Bush is a fantasy point scoring machine. He figures to get more carries this year and his YPC are certainly going to go up. 88 catches as a rookie and eight total TD’s. Not to mention that he is going to be returning more punts this year, he is more accustomed to the NFL now, and he also was lobbying to return kickoffs as well.

3.) Joseph Addai, Indianapolis Colts. This kid is young, strong, and agile. Many wouldn’t think he could be this high on anyone’s list but with Dominic Rhodes gone, Addai is going to become the Colts’ featured back. He got over 1,000 yards last season despite only around 14 carries a game. He’s a big enough back to pound through the line but can also turn on the jets when he needs to.

2.) Steven Jackson, St. Louis Rams. Jackson very quietly piled up over 2,300 yards of offense and 16 touchdowns last year. Didn’t know that did you? He is a great runner and also a fantastic receiver. 6 100 yard rushing games, 3 100 yard receiving games…the guy is a phenomenal talent and will have a big year.

1.) Ladainian Tomlinson, San Diego Chargers. Do I really need to explain this pick? I mean he only scored 826 touchdowns last year and can virtually run over any defense in the league. My gut says he won’t have as productive a year as last season, but he will still score tons of points for any fantasy manager.

Paulie: Oh yea, forsooth and verily behold the anchors of any and all fantasy football team. The hosses. The government mules. The horses you hitch your wagon up to. And any other euphemism for dragging your sorry ass to a fantasy championship. I also noticed that the other goobers are doing the reverse order thing. But I’m still not. Cause I’m a loner, readers. I’m a rebel. And Curly Joe Frabbit can kiss my lily white ass.

1. Ladainian Tomlinson – Really. Do you need to be told this? If LT2 isn’t at the very tippy top of your draft board then… just… go. Get out of my sight. You deserve to lose. After every draft, if I don’t have him, I do everything in my power to weasel my way into getting him. Last year, in my work league, the guy who got Tomlinson was a huge Panthers fan. As am I, but I don’t let it blind me from my fantasy goals. Anyway, I had Steve Smith. He had Ladainian. I traded him Steve Smith and my 3rd RB for LT. I won the league. Only lost one game all year. He finished 7th. Moral of the story? Get this man and ride him to glory.

2. Steven Jackson – We were just discussing this guy at work this morning. My coworker does not believe in Steven Jackson. Because he plays in St. Louis. I reminded him that Marshall Faulk also played in St. Louis. And Steven Jackson just might be better because he’s bigger than a poodle. Jackson has speed, power, and superb hands out of the backfield. He often flies under the radar for inexperienced fantasy players for flashier names like Alexander and Johnson and… geh… Bush. But do not doubt. Snatch him up. If you’re in a more casual league, you may be able to snag him in the second round. Meaning you could have him AND Ladainian. If that happens, you may as well collect on whatever winnings you’re due.

3. Thomas Jones – Beware the Jets this year. They have a defense. They have a passing game now that Pennington knows how to play a whole year and Jerricho Cotchery is coming into his own. And they have a running game. Thomas Jones. Yeah, Leon Washington will leach a few carries. But Jones is going to be the workhorse. He’s going to be the one at the goal line. I’d count on 1400 yards and at least 14 TD’s out of Jones this year. Mark it down. Championship.

4. Frank Gore – Oh how quickly my compatriots forget. Gore is a beast. His fumbling problem has damn near evaporated. He’s got no one stealing carries from him. And he is the focal point of a talented young team. Gore was THE hottest free agent pickup in leagues last year. And I count on him to continue his tear through the weak defenses of the NFC West.

Charles Joseph: Paulie and the Jets, sittin’ in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage. Ahhh that was fun, Stephen Jackson and LdT are clearly the top two backs this year. I’m not even claiming one to be higher than the other. They are 1a and 1eh. I wouldn’t be surprised to see them separated by 50 total yards and 1 td at the end of the year. My third is a guy you’ve both skipped over, Shaun Alexander. He had a down year last year, but he had the madden curse over his head. He’s not going to put up the numbers of his MVP season, but he’ll be just a little below the top 2. Fourth I go with Paulie’s 4 and say Frank Gore. He’s got a broken hand, so he’s getting rest during training camp so he’ll he fresh for the season. Danny’s boy, Bush, is the 4th running back if you’re league counts completions as a stat.

3.) Top Four Wide Receivers

Charles Joseph: Well, lets start at the top shall we.
Or not, let’s start at 4.
Number 4 this year…Roy Williams, Detroit Lions. He’s got Calvin Johnson lining up on the other side of him this year to take coverage away. Kitna is an underrated QB and he’ll be able to the ball to both of those two with frequency. Williams will get a lot more looks early in the year until Kevin Jones comes back, but once Jones comes back that will be one more offensive threat defenses will have to worry about. The Lions won’t win 10+ games like Kitna says, but they could be close. Think Rams late 90’s.

Number 3: Marvin Harrison, Indianapolis Colts. Explosive offense again, and Harrison and Wayne make another dangerous duo. Expect yards to take a small hit from last year, but receptions should go up. With Glenn gone, Peyton and the Wide Outs won’t have as much time for the deep game, so they’ll pick their way down field more this year, but the stats will still be there for all of them.

Number 2: Steve “Damnitipulledmygroinagain” Smith, Carolina Panthers. Slice both of his hammies, quadruple cover him, and he’d still find a way to get open and be a legitimate fantasy threat. If he stays healthy he’ll carry any team he’s on.

Number 1: Reclaiming his place at the top Randy F’reakin Moss, New England Patriots. Pats love to pass. Randy loves to catch passes. Seems like a match made in heaven to me. Randy was disinterested in Oakland because they sucked. Who doesn’t get disinterested when their team sucks. That’s why the NFL has fallen to third in my eyes, my Vikings suck, and its not getting better. Brady said earlier in camp he was worried that he was underthrowing Moss too much, that’s a good sign, it means Moss still has superior speed, and of course he still has the height and the ball skills, it all adds up to 1500 yards and at least 15 TD’s.

Quick runover of players I left off
Ocho Cinco – Housch got faster over the summer and will take some of Johnson’s deep balls. Lowering Johnson’s value.
Holt – Linehan likes to run, and Jackson is a great receiver out of the back field means Holt’s numbers will suffer alittle.
Owens – Not sure how well Romo will recover from last year, Owens dropped a lot of passes last year, if Romo is shaky Owens drops could triple.

Danny: Fuck Terrell Owens and his pass dropping ass. I don’t think he even deserves to be in the Top Ten of fantasy receivers because he is good, but he can’t concentrate on the game he is playing enough to be reliable. Bring on the hate mail, I don’t care. T.O. is not on my list and never would be. But there are those very deserving so here we go.

4.) Torry Holt, St. Louis Rams. Say what you want about him not being flashy or grabbing the spotlight, but that’s a good thing. He quietly racked up another 1,000 yard season and double digit TD performance for an explosive offense that now has a new contract happy Marc Bulger leading them.

3.) Randy Moss, New England Patriots. Looking to rekindle his career, this was a bit of a stretch for me. I don’t think he is going to have the huge season that CJ does, but I think if he stays on his game then he can show the brilliance he showed in Minnesota. But with Stallworth, Welker, Brown, and a host of other WR’s on the Pats’ roster; Brady may decide to pass it around a bit so be careful here.

2.) Marvin Harrison, Indianapolis Colts. Mr. Reliability can draw as many men in coverage as the team wants to put on him…he and Peyton have a relationship that is just insane and will lead to a lot of points for the Colts and any manager who has Harrison on their roster. You can’t go wrong here for he will produce, there is no doubt in that.

1.) Chad Johnson, Cincinnati Bengals. Ocho-Cinco is bound for a breakthrough year and Carson Palmer is only getting better with each passing season. Palmer knows where his go-to guy is and no matter what…Johnson will catch the ball. And with Chris Henry serving that 8-game suspension, it is up to #85 and Whosyamama so expect a very big first half of the season for Johnson and finishing it up a tad slower, but overall very good.

Paulie: Ahh, the wide receiver. So many times I see fantasy rookies creaming their pants over top tier receivers. And yes, an elite pass catcher might win you a game or two during the season. And I can tell you now, I think Mr. Moss will improve this year, but he’s not returning to Top 4 fantasy status, the New England Sith Lords don’t work like that.

1. Steve Smith – There are guys with flash. There are guys with hands. There are guys who will do anything to get the ball. And then there’s Steve Smith. We’re almost two weeks into training camp and Smith has YET to tweak a hammy. That’s bad news for the league. Steve Smith at full speed with a legitimate threat in Dwayne Jarrett and Keary Colbert finally coming into his own so Steve’s not seeing CONSTANT double teams. John Fox can say what he want, but his offensive game plan will still always be, give Steve the damn ball. He’s only two years removed from winning the receiving triple crown when he had NO ONE on the other side of the ball. Steve Smith is the top fantasy choice for receiver.

2. Torry Holt – I often have dreams of what it would have been like to have Phillip Rivers throwing the ball to Torry Holt at NC State. That would have been awesome. But it was not to be. Meanwhile, Holt has quietly put together a Hall of Fame career. All he does is go out, catch the damn ball. Score a damn touchdown. And go about his business. And he will continue to do so.

3. Reggie Wayne – Very quietly over the last couple of years, Reggie Wayne has been doing something no one could have thought would happen. He’s becoming Peyton Manning’s favorite. Yeah, Marvin will still get his balls thrown his way. But Reggie is where he’s going in the clutch. This will be the year Reggie officially claims the title of #1 Colts receiver from the aging Harrison.

4. Roy Williams – Calvin Johnson will be the catalyst, but Roy Williams is still the main man in Detroit. He’ll take advantage early on of defenses focusing on the rookie and put up huge numbers in the first half of the season. Then once Calvin starts feeling more comfortable with his routes and such, he’ll drop off, but not so much as to drop him from my top 4. Just don’t count on Williams to carry you through the playoffs.

4.) Top Four Defenses

Paulie: Ahh, the Fantasy defense. Usually the only position more neglected than the kicker (a position conspicuously absent from our rankings). In my leagues, I usually go mostly with individual defenders, but I realize that’s not the norm. My reason for doing it though, If you don’t get one of the top 3-4 defenses, it really doesn’t matter who you’ve got. Defense rankings also vary depending on if return yards and TD’s are rolled into defensive stats. So, with that in mind, my top 4 Fantasy team defenses:

1. Chicago Bears – They’re a scary defense in a really bad division. They should be able to keep the points against super low and force turnovers all day against their schedule. And they have a guy named Devin Hester for the special teams add ons.

2. San Diego Chargers – They have a new D-coordinator but they have a core that cannot be argued with. They’re in a division that will be starting three young QB’s and two suspect offensive lines. Turnovers should about for this defense.

3. Carolina Panthers – The secondary is still a little suspect, but they still have one of the top front 7’s in the game and a division that has two teams that are imminently destroyable. The return game leaves a lot to be desired, which is why they’re at #3.

4. New York Jets – Go ahead, laugh. I hear you. Laugh it up. Justin Miller is a beast in the return game and the defense proper is growing by leaps and bounds. They play in a tough division though. I could have put New England here, but they’re, honestly, getting old. Literally. Dallas was a possibility, but I worry about their immaturity. I just have a gut feeling about the Jets. Just… trust me.

Charles Joseph: Defense is one of the last positions you should draft for. You can pick up decent defenses in the last 2 – 3 rounds of most drafts, targeting the likes of San Fran, Oakland, and Jacksonville. But as for Paulie’s list. I’d drop Da’ Bears out of the top 5. They lost Briggs and Tank Johnson from last year and they also have the SuperBowl hang over curse. So they could be in for a big let down this year. The Chargers should be the number 1 defense. I’d put Baltimore at 2. With Ngata, Lewis, Suggs, Rolle, McAllister, Reed on that side of the ball they’ll be a force again this year. I wouldn’t put Carolina in the top 5 either. Minter just retired and Morgan is just a slip and fall away from having is brain shut off, Jenkins is oft injured as well. My third defense would be Seattle. They have plenty of talent and they’ve been together for a year now and should be a solid cohesive unit. I won’t laugh at Paulie’s 4th, cause the Jets could be good, but my 4th is another potential laugher. the Oakland Raiders. They were a good defense last year, and they have an extra year of experience. They have burners at CB and a lot of good young players.

Danny: As has been said already, this is one of the final picks you’re going to make. Along with a kicker of course, but you can always pick up a decent defense.

4.) Philadelphia Eagles. If they can stay healthy, then they can deliver some big time hits and create a lot of turnovers. But if Jevon Kearse isn’t fully recovered from his knee injury, then it could be a long season.

3.) Chicago Bears. I think they are going to flop and flop hard this year, but they are talented. If they can play at their level, then they’ll go far. But I think the loss of Tank Johsnson is going to hurt. And CJ, Briggs actually signed a one-year deal but I don’t think he’s happy.

2.) San Diego Chargers. A league high 61 sacks last year. 61!!! That is just damn insane and with Merriman sitting out four games. That defensive line is a bunch of monsters and the loss of aging LB Donnie Edwards will hardly be felt at all.

1.) Baltimore Ravens. Ray Lewis is aging everyday, but the man is a good leader and will be in charge of a hard-nose defense. The lost of Adalius Thomas is going to hurt, but with Haloti Ngata, Ed Reed, and Terrell Suggs picking up slack all over the field; they are going to be a bitch for any team to play.

5.) Sleepers/Players To Avoid

Charles Joseph: My top sleeper is WR Vincent Jackson for San Diego. He’s as close to a number 1 receiver they have and with the addition of Craig Davis, Jackson should be open plenty this year for Rivers. QB Alex Smith from San Fran WILL explode this year. Great running back behind him, Great tight end in Vernon Davis, if he stays healthy, they added the potentially explosive Darrell Jackson on the outside, It all adds up to Smith having a big year. As much as I don’t like him, Minnesota QB Tavaris Jackson actually could have a good year. The Vikes should have a decent running game, and Rice, Allison, Williamson should be a good receiving corp. for a while. Jackson might have more relevance in a keeper league than a normal league. I think Browns’ RB Jamal Lewis will have a bounce back year this year in Cleveland. Good weapons on the outside with Winslow and Edwards. Makings off a great line, Thomas, Bentley, Steinbach. He’s not going to match his 2000 yard season, but 1300 and 10-12 TD’s should be expected.

My first one isn’t really an “Avoid at all costs,” but you should wait longer than you think, Larry Johnson, Kansas City. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a good young back. But he’s currently holding out for a bigger contract, Priest Holmes is trying to make a comeback, and he carried the ball more times last year than any player in history, his O-Line isn’t as young as they used to be. I don’t feel LJ is a top 5 player this year. Second is the Madden Cursed Vince Young. He’s already punched a teammate in the helmet with his throwing hand. He’s getting hurt or benched or Pacmaned at sometime during the year stay away. I mentioned the last one in the WR section a little, Tony Romo. He showed signs of defenses game-planning against him late last year, and he cost the Cowboys a playoff win, who knows how he’ll react to that. Look at Charles Woodson, should have won the Raiders the snow bowl, tuck rule was invoked, C-Woody wasn’t the same till he changed scenery to Green Bay, stay away from Romo.

Danny: Sleepers are so much fun and last year it was Saints’ WR Marques Colston. I grabbed him because watching preseason games, I saw how good the kid’s hands were and he turned out to be a great pick-up. But this year take a gamble on Falcons’ RB Jerious Norwood. Warrick Dunn had some offseason surgery and isn’t getting any younger. Throw on top of that Vick being gone probably the whole season and Norwood looks to get a lot more carries. Lions’ QB Jon Kitna could also emerge as a big points gainer with all the talent he has around him in Detroit. They may not win 10 games, but it’ll be due to their lackadaisical defense and not their highly talented offense. I’d also keep an eye on Bills’ rookie RB Marshawn Lynch for he is going to be a very special player.

If you believe in jinxes, then avoid Titans’ QB Vince Young because the Madden Curse is upon his head and I also just don’t think his second year in the league will be anywhere near as good as his first. I have a bad feeling about the Bears’ Defense this year…just sayin’. And yes I know that I labeled him as one of my best, and he is, but be wary of the Patriots’ WR Randy Moss. If he’s on his game, he is fantastic. But if Brady decides to spread things out, Moss will get pissy and may end up doing jack shit again this year. Not to mention a bit of a back tweak this offseason could hinder him, but it remains to be seen.

Paulie: Sleepers? Why would I tell you my sleepers? I have to play in a league with these two! *sigh* Ok. Here, by position:

RB: DeAngelo Williams – This SHOULD be the year Fox hands the RB job to Williams instead of the super fragile DeShaun Foster. And with the passing game back on track and a O-Line not beset by injury and constant shuffling. Williams will be able to show what he can do and will make a great 2nd RB this season.

WR: Jerricho Cotchery – He had a quiet breakout season last year, but he certainly won me a couple of games. He’s going to be a reliable 2nd or 3rd option at WR cause he will be a regular target for Pennington. Yeah, maybe I *AM* a closet Jets fan. What ya gonna do? Huh? Yeah, he played for NC State. So? He’s good. Believe me. TRUST me. He’ll be on my teams if I can help it.

QB: David Carr – Wait. Isn’t he a backup? Yeah. So was Jake Delhomme when he came to Carolina. By game 3, if Jake is still doing his best heave ho Favre impression, look for Carr to come in and carry the Cats to glory. I’ve contended for years that all David Carr needed was an offensive line to be a VERY good QB. This is the year he proves me right.

TE: Eric JohnsonSo, you missed out on Gates. You missed Shockey. Crumpler? Gone. Gonzo? Gone. Take a stab with Johnson. Before Vernon Davis showed up in San Francisco, Johnson was quietly putting up damn good number for a tight end. Now that he’s in an offense with Drew Brees, a QB with an affinity for TE’s (Just ask Gates and Colston, what? Colston was listed as a TE, right?). Johnson should be a serviceable plug for a tight end slot if you get stuck without an obvious good one.

Players to avoid? Hard to say really. It’s usually person preference. Larry Johnson‘s numbers are going to go down now that half of his Hall of Fame O-Line is gone and he’ll probably get 500 carries this year with KC not having a QB. But I wouldn’t say to avoid him at all costs. I’d definitely put Chris Henry on my do not draft list. I’d honestly avoid Mike Vick because I honestly think he’s out at least 4 games and probably at least 8, and you can’t have that out of a QB. Wait… wait… did the frabbit ACTUALLY put Tavaris Jacksonon his sleeper list? Oh well, I guess even when we hate the home team we gotta be homers sometimes. Don’t listen to him. Avoid Tavaris Jackson at all costs.

PEE-YOMPS (pimps)

Like movies but never know which ones to buy, check out some DVD review by heading over to The DVD Lounge where there are a lot of good people watching a lot of crap so you don’t have to. And for a person who has over 1300 DVDs and watches every movie imaginable, Travis really finds some things that even I have never heard of.

Popcorn Junkies is a place you really need to go check out as well because there are great people like Caroline, Ping, Michaelangelo, Kubryk, and more bringing you news and movie reviews at all hours of the night and day.

Eugene Tierney has put together a great read all about Barry Bonds’ 756th Home Run.

Rob Blatt interviews Amy Cohen, former writer of Spin City and Caroline In The City.

You know how to get us, so go here in the forums or e-mail us. And just to let you know that all three of us are in a fantasy league (or a few of them like I know myself and CJ are). But all of us are in a league with Matt and a bunch of other forumers and writers from IP are in it so we’ll update you all season on our stats and standings.

If you want our thoughts on other positions or any more past our top four at each position, then feel free to get at one of us.

THAT’S IT…ITS OVA. Called on account of laziness. With this article we pass a Full HALF YEAR of this wonderful little article. Thanks to all the diehard Pardon the Pulse readers (all six of you, and we’d really like to hear from you). Without you it’d just be the three of us talking to each other…so it’d be the sports forum just about every day. We’ll see you all again next week.