Historically Speaking: What I Miss…

Columns

“We cannot escape history.” – Abraham Lincoln in Annual Message to Congress, December 1, 1862

The Opening Chapter
It’s been a fairly slow week in our fun little world of wrestling we all so intensively follow. Other than the on-screen return of Mr. McMahon and TNA signing another football player that won’t make a lick of difference for them ratings and money-wise, the wrestling has been pretty uneventful. So instead of delving on any one topic this week, I am just going to think back about through my history of wrestling fan-dom and reminisce about the things that I miss about my favorite pastime. Maybe it will invoke you out there to think about what you miss from wrestling’s days gone by.

What I Miss
Demolition – I grew up a WWF mark and one of my first images of wrestling ever was of these two painted up, cool looking guys. In my five year old mind these were the epitome of painted up bad asses. By the time I saw The Road Warriors, I had also already discovered the Powers of Pain so Hawk and Animal fell to number three on the coolness scale. But Demolition were the guys. They had it all. The music. The paint. The look. I would mark out quite hard if I heard that old Rick Derringer song play on the RAW today and these two old guys came out all geared up. Hell I still have a soft spot in heart to this day for Bryan Adams because of where he started. And I still mark out for Barbarian and Warlord to this day as well.

Gary Michael Cappetta on the SuperStation – Being such a WWF mark growing up, watching WCW was such a novelty for me. Plus I didn’t have cable so it really was a novelty. The early ‘90s WCW was so different looking and feeling than the WWF. But I loved wrestling in general and soaked up any and all WCW when I could get. I can still hear GMC’s nasally voice announce “This is Sting” like it was yesterday.

The New Age Outlaws’ schtick when it was new and fresh – And not only their schtick, but those two guys in general. In 1998 you couldn’t walk through a high school without hearing someone mimic Jesse James’ signature “Oh you didn’t know?” call. Now I just want them to go away. The year 1998 might have been the best year in modern wrestling history popularity wise, but these two need to stop living in that year . My memory remembers those two and their mic work well enough without them trying to poorly remind me every Thursday night.

Getting a group of buddies together rin high school to watch a the monthly PPV – Once again, going back to the late ‘90s and my impressionable high school years. Sunday nights from 6-10 were always reserved for a WWF, WCW or ECW PPV, whatever the occasion may be. Hardcore fans, fair-weather fans, and casual fans at best would all pile together to watch the latest antics of Stone Cold and McMahon or the nWo and probably stage their own card while it was all going on. WrestleMania X-7 may be the greatest pay per view ever, but watching with 7 or 8 of your closest friends MST3000 style made it even that much better. Watching wrestling is fun. Watching wrestling in a group that is interested in it is even better. That’s why going to a live event is so fun, even if you seats suck.

Marking out during the Royal Rumble match – I guess I still mark out for the concept of the Royal Rumble match but the early years without the Internet and with my ten year old imagination made the match even better. Diesel’s seven man elimination in 1994 was the coolest thing I had ever seen. I think I rented Royal Rumble 1990 on tape twenty times and I still love the part where Warrior and Hogan clear the ring and have their stand-off. This year’s Rumble with the Michaels-Undertaker finale brought some of the mark out of me again. It’s still my personal match of the year every year, no matter how bad the match may seem.

Survivor Series with all elimination matches and team names – Speaking of watching a PPV a lot, I think I’ve got Survivor Series 1989 and 1990 about memorized. The opening montage where Vince McMahon did a voice over displaying the teams and their names is still awesome to watch today. (In fact I wish he would do that again for elimination matches and Royal Rumble matches like he used to.) It was such a novel concept to pair up a bunch of good guys and bad guys together, band them with a name and let a bunch of feuds come together in one match. The Hulkamaniacs versus The Natural Disasters or The Dream Team versus The Enforcers. That was some good shit for a young kid. I really, really wish Survivor Series in this day would go back to the all elimination format. I know they sprinkle in a few elimination matches like they did last year, but with as many PPVs as they have today it would definitely make the Series stand out even more. Can you imagine John Cena captaining Cody Rhodes and London & Kendrick as The Chain Gang against Randy Orton, Carlito and The Redneck Wrecking Crew as The Killers. Or Matt Hardy, Jimmy Wang Yang and The Majors (The Underdogs) against MVP, Kenny Dykstra and Duece & Domino as The Untouchables. Or a ultimate survivor match with John Cena, Batista & CM Punk against John Morrison, Mr. Kennedy, The World’s Greatest Tag Team and MVP.

Miss Elizabeth – She is epitome of class in this thing we call pro wrestling. Before the gravy bowl and bra & panty matches of today, there was Miss Elizabeth. Even as a five year old when I couldn’t care less about girls I thought she was pretty. She was able to keep herself out of the sleaze and tasteless angles for the most part, especially in the early years. She brought such a style and grace to the circus around her and really looked out of place sometimes. But to me Miss Elizabeth is and always will be the true First Lady of Wrestling.

Speculating on a mystery partner – Oh me and my little friends used to go back and forth about the Million $ Man’s mystery partner at Survivor Series ’90. We thought Virgil was too obvious a choice and figured it would either be Dustin Rhodes turning on his old man or The Macho King, the only guy not booked in a match. When the Undertaker was revealed it was absolutely amazing. You can count on one hand how many other mystery partners had that kind of impact. And with the new age of wrestling, it’s virtually impossible to keep a mystery guy a secret, and even if it does remain a secret, it usually ends up being a disappointment anyways.

A tag team division with twelve teams that matched and had team names – Look back to Survivor Series ’87 and ’88 to see real tag team divisions. Ten teams, all with matching tights, looks and a unifying team name. And they all had a cool double team finisher. The NWA/WCW used to have World and United States Tag belts to placate all their talented teams. Teams that were treated with respect and held in high regard amongst the fans and bookers. Teams that could headline an event if needed to. The WWF in 2000 had that again with TLC crew and about five or six undercard teams, but they haven’t had anything like it since. Now the five unified teams on RAW (a pretty good start for this day and age) can’t even make it to the main show and SmackDown! I think has two teams right now. At least TNA still knows how to book tag wrestling effectively on occasion.

A real cruiserweight division with luchadores and puro stars – Both TNA and WWE are guilty of their floundering cruiserweight divisions right now. WCW showed us what a cruiserweight division was all about with a solid group of American trained talents that could talk and carry the division plus a lot of talent Japanese juniors and luchadores that were just plain fun to watch. I think I could’ve watched Rey Mysterio, Jr. wrestle Juventud Guerrera or Psicosis every week on Nitro and be entertained. Now WWE has five cruiserweights and a damn little person and TNA’s division is treated as an afterthought to the main event as of the moment.

Owen Hart – No wrestling death hit me as hard as Owen Hart’s did. It was so unexpected, so tragic, so wrong. I already dedicated a whole column to Owen already, but I have thought about where he would be today in the wrestling landscape. Whether he would’ve finally been a World Champion, or he would’ve eventually followed Bret to WCW or maybe he would’ve gone to TNA with his pal Jeff Jarrett. I’d like to think he’d still be on the WWE roster in that upper-mid card teacher role like Finlay or Booker T.

Reading the old Apter mags like they were the gospel – Oh those damn black and white Apter mags like PWI or The Wrestler were just fun to read as a kid. There were also informative about the wrestlers that maybe weren’t on a national scene in WWF or WCW at the time. Those apter mags were where I first read about guys like Chris Jericho, Sabu and the beginnings of the little promotion out in south Philly. Now I still flip through them on occasion if I see them, but they just don’t carry that same mystic that they did when I was ten.

Mark out moments during Monday Night RAW – I’ll never forget jumping around my cousin’s house the night The Kid beat Razor Ramon and Marty Jannetty won the Intercontinental Title. Or virtually every week during the Monday Night Wars. Now the only times I’ve truly marked out in the new millennium have been the night of WCW-ECW Alliance merger (and then was disappointed with by the next week), the night Matt Hardy returned in 2005 (and then was disappointed a couple weeks later) and the night that Shawn Michaels came out to Bret Hart’s music in Calgary (and then was disappointed instantly). I want the fun and spontaneity back in my Monday Night RAW.

WWF Superstars of Wrestling on Saturday mornings – Looking back, the Superstars show sucked. It was all bad squashes, cheesy interviews and Sean Mooney, but it was my first exposure to pro wrestling and holds a special place for me. Plus I loved Vince McMahon’s awesomely bad powder blue suits he wore.

The Clash of the Champions – Pay per view caliber matches in an era where they were hard to come by made this WCW show something special. I still have part of a Clash from the summer of ’91 on tape somewhere.

Random undercard matches on PPV – I look back to WWF and WCW pay per view cards of old where two low to mid-card guys would just get a chance to show their stuff on pay per view just for the sake of it. The Bob Holly versus Hunter Hearst-Helmsley match that happened at SummerSlam ’95 wouldn’t happen in today’s climate. Whether that’s good or bad, I’m not real sure.

Being in the dark about wrestling behind the scenes – I love reading all the backstage dirt that I’ve become accustomed to, but I miss the days of surprise when I didn’t have any idea what was going to happen. I didn’t have internet at my house during the summer of 1999 so I think I was one of four people who didn’t know that the countdown clock was for Chris Jericho, and frankly I think I enjoyed his debut that much more because I didn’t know it was going to be him coming out when the clock struck zero.

The Perspective
There are a lot of things I miss about professional wrestling, but there are still many things I still enjoy. I love the WWE’s ever burgeoning DVD collection and am constantly giving more and more money to the McMahons by the disc. And I love TNA for just being different. And I love that the indys and Ring of Honor are growing a solid class of talent not seen in over a decade. I just really can’t wait to finally have the gloriousness that is WWE 24/7 so that I can perhaps relive so many of the things that miss and discover other things I never knew before.

For this week the vault is closed

Linked to the Pulse
David B. brings up the infamous Sid-Scott Steiner feud that saw Sid’s leg to the other way.

Ollie talks reviews ROH from its Milestone series.

Andy Wheeler talks about the patience fans should have with today’s product.

This Day in History
I figured if we are talking history around here we should pay homage to what has happened on this very day in the years gone by. It will either make you long for the old days or be happy for what we have now.

1980 – The Showdown at Shea event was held at Shea Stadium, Flushing, NY
1980 – Bob Backlund & Pedro Morales defeated The Samoans for the WWWF Tag Team title
1986 – Ric Flair defeated Dusty Rhodes for the NWA Heavyweight Wrestling title
1997 – WCW Road Wild was held in Sturgis, SD
1997 – Hulk Hogan defeated Lex Luger for the WCW Heavyweight title
1997 – Sabu defeated Terry Funk for the ECW Heavyweight title
1998 – Bryan Cash & Juan Hurtado defeated Jebediah Blackhawk & Cousin Otter for the Ohio Valley Southern Heavyweight Tag Title
1999 – Kane & X-Pac defeated Faarooq & Bradshaw for the WWF Tag Team title
1999 – Chris Benoit defeated David Flair for the WCW US Heavyweight title
2001 – The 2001 Brian Pillman Memoria was held at Oak Hills High School in Oak Hills, OH
2001 – Nick Dinsmore defeated Race Steele for the HWA Heavyweight Title
2001 – Matt Stryker defeated Pepper Parks or the HWA Cruiserweight Title

1971 – Steven Richards was born
1980 – “The Doc” was born
1999 – Jackie Sato died of stomach cancer at 41

The Assignment
It’s important to know your history to know where you have come from and where you are going. Nova implemented history assignments for the students of the developmental territories months ago so they would know pro wrestling’s history and they would learn just how many moves Nova did create. I feel this is a smashing idea and every week I will assign a book or DVD for you to check out and learn from. They are not only educational but very entertaining.

Another of my buddies’ and I favorite drunken wrestling DVDs was The Monday Night Wars. My friends and fraternity brothers always requested to watch this one because they all remember watching wrestling back in those days. Even though the DVD isn’t perfect, and doesn’t really tell a “fair and balanced” story, I do think it does a pretty good job. And the clips intertwined into the documentary make me miss those days of being a wrestling fan. Some of the extras are just fantastic as well, including one of Jim Cornette’s infamous rants from the fall of 1997. (“On a personal note to Hulk Hogan, you are a household word, but so is garbage and it stinks when it gets old too.” – JC) And I still get chills watching the Horsemen reunion from Nitro in September 1998 when Ric Flair came back to work. (“Fire me! I’m already fired!”) If you were any sort of fan during the height of the Monday Night Wars check this out, if nothing else it’ll bring back some memories.

Mark was a columnist for Pulse Wrestling for over four years, evolving from his original “Historically Speaking” commentary-style column into the Monday morning powerhouse known as “This Week in ‘E.” He also contributes to other ventures, outside of IP, most notably as the National Pro Wrestling Examiner for Examiner.com and a contributor for The Wrestling Press. Follow me on Twitter here.