The new season of The Real World: Sydney officially kicks off this week and I have that episode covered. We also have the Monday finale of Making the Band 4. It makes room for The Hills next week, but who is in the new band? Find out soon enough, but don’t forget to enjoy your weekly dose of freaky illusions and straight comedy as well. All of that and more this week. So lets mix things up a bit…
MONDAY
Making the Band 4
The guys all come back from their two-month long visits from home. They meet up and discuss what they have been doing. The funniest part of this whole segment is all of the other passengers in the airport looking at these guys and wondering why the cameras are following them! By the way, Michael did lose some weight. That’s the only major change. The rest look the same really.
They have two days to prove themselves for the last time. They will be cut into the final group of 4, maybe 5. They have to open up for New Edition first, though. Performing live is the ultimate test. They get broken up into two groups by Diddy. Group 1 is Qwanell, Donnie, Dyshon, Brian A., and Michael. Group 2 is Willie, Robert, Brian H., DeAngelo, and Jeremy. So from this it looks like my favorites and the judges’ favorites were divided up equally. So that’s interesting.
Time to practice as groups now. Not very good so far. Brian H. is making a complete ass out of himself with talking back to Ankh Ra. I think Group 1 is strong throughout, but Willie and Robert are basically the top two and they are both in the second group. So this final group is really up in the air. The second group decides to call themselves “Flo”. It means “For Ladies Only”. The first group call themselves “5th City”. Apparently, because they are from 5 different cities.
They arrive at the Beacon Theatre in New York City, where they will perform tonight. Both groups do okay. Flo went more with the sex appeal than anything. Overall not to bad. Everyone goes and talks to Diddy individually now. Robert makes a couple of mistakes. He has all kinds of glitter and bling bling on. Most importantly, he ran out of breath on stage. Dyshon made a mistake of wearing white on top of his black outfits. His group told him not to, but he did anyways.
Everyone makes a trip to Diddy’s barber, Curtis. Thank god, because over half of these guys have the same hairstyle. Robert and Brian H. don’t want their hair messed with. Brian H. is really pissed off and wants them to just shave it off. This means, without a doubt, Brian H. WILL NOT be in the group. He has whined too much. Meanwhile, Robert is a team player and gets a baby-fro. It doesn’t look that bad really.
Time for the Sean John photo shoot now. Brian H. seems to finally come around to his new hairstyle. Now everyone sits around and tosses names around for who could be in the group. Diddy and the official judges do the same. Diddy wants to know the #1 choice from each of the main judges. Bivins apparently likes Jeremy. Bryan Cox likes Brian A. Diddy likes Robert. Ankh Ra likes DeAngelo. Donnie and Qwanell get props for performing in front of the live crowd the best. So pretty much Diddy likes everyone for different reasons. Michael lost the weight, Willie and Dyshon work hard, etc.
It’s judgement day! Time for the final group to be picked. Everyone is confident and ready to find out who is in the band. Diddy makes everyone do the “Diddy two-step”. He shuffles various people to the front and the back as everyone wonders what each move means. This is great. Nerves are off the chart right now. All of means nothing right now as now Diddy takes two guys and have them sing off different verses of the song against each other. After all the singing, dancing, two-stepping, and fighting, the time is now. Actually, scratch that. We are dragging this show out some more!
Diddy wants everyone to go vote now at makingtheband.mtv.com. Help him pick the final band and then tune in LIVE for the season finale of the show on Sunday, August 26 at 10 p.m. ET/PT! So in three weeks we will have our new band. I say boo to that, but at least they didn’t make us watch the finale on the internet. That would have REALLY sucked! My predictions are still the same.
Next week, The Hills is back for a third season!
TUESDAY
Room 401
We start off this week with a little blood donating. A guy is in a big hurry and simply decides to drain his own blood into the bag without a needle or anything. That was nice, but not that shocking compared to other stuff I have seen on this show.
The next illusion is at a hair salon. A woman’s head gets “fried” off by a malfunctioning hair dryer. Now that was better. The body is just sitting there without a head on it.
The third illusion was not one at all really. A guy in a car gets hit by a bus. Simple as that. Now he does disappear, and comes out of that same bus. That’s pretty cool, but if he flew up in the air it would have been better.
The last one was probably the best one of the night. A guy freaks out and rips up a newspaper and then crumples it together to reveal that is back in one piece. This freaks out some girls, because at first one of their pictures was in the “obituary” section. When the guy puts it back together, his picture is in that same spot. A little freaky!
WEDNESDAY
The Real World: Sydney
Welcome to Sydney, Australia. We met the houseguests last week in the casting special, but it’s time for them all to meet now. Here is the quick rundown again. Trisha is 19 and from Fresno, CA. She is young and think she is super hot. She also has sex with boyfriend before she is married. Shame on you! Next is Cohutta. He is from 23 and from Georgia! He has a thick Southern accent. Yee-haw! Kelly Anne is next. She is 20 and from Texas. She’s dumb, but beautiful. She also loves attention. She meets Cohutta first. Issac is 21 and from Cleveland, Ohio. He’s a white rapper and gets in trouble with the police. He meets Shauvon. She is 23 and from California. She is blonde with big boobs. She is also a sex columnist. She swears she is not a stereotype, though. Issac likes her “toddlers” meaning her breasts. Dunbar is 22 and from Mississippi. He loves the rebel flag, which happens to be the redneck state flag of Mississippi. Good lord. He says his home town is beautiful. Mississippi is the “armpit” of America. I can say that, because I live in Arkansas. Parisa is last. She is from New York. She is Muslim, which is a first for this show. At least since like the first season, so that still counts. Drama alert!
Time to get down to business. The seven strangers all meet up at their house. The house is like a mall on the outside! The inside looks like every other house in the last few years. Cohutta likes the girls a lot. No one else can say his name correctly. Dunbar actually has a girlfriend. She is hot. So when he cheats on her, I will take her. Trisha has a boyfriend, but it’s not serious at all. Kelly likes to flirt. How can Shauvon think she will like Parisa in exactly two seconds of meeting her? So the roommates are decided. Trisha and Kelly Anne are in one room. Shauvon and Parisa in another. The three guys are all together as well. Parisa doesn’t like that all the girls are typical “supermodels”. She also isn’t very soical and this immediately turns Trisha and Kelly Anne off to her.
The guys rate the girls on the hotness scale. Dunbar thinks Kelly Anne is the best looking. Issac thinks Parisa is the “deepest” one as in “not shallow”. We get the reference to 9-11 and Parisa being Muslim thanks to Kelly. No surprise there. I’m sure they were both cast for a reason.
Parisa has the hots for Dunbar. Too bad he is taken. Of coure, they all dance and party now. Issac and Shauvon also start to get very close. Kelly Anne looks like the “sloppy” drunk of the season. We have a new Jen, ladies and gentleman. Parisa is the “anti-social”. She goes home early. Dunbar is attracted to Kelly Anne as she shakes her butt at him. They chat in the hot tub about Dunbar marrying his girlfriend. HA! Parisa actually seems jealous of this. The first night and he is already in trouble. Rule #1 for going on The Real World. Either go single to start with, or end up single at the end of it.
Parisa hates everyone already. Kelly Anne tries to be funny and jump into bed with Parisa and wake her up. Parisa explains to us that “it’s that time of the month”, so that is why she is so bitchy. Meanwhile, Cohutta talks to his grandfather on the phone. Everyone likes to wear very little clothes around here. Cohutta has no problem with that. Parisa complains to Shauvon about Kelly Anne. Parisa doesn’t want to be the “mom of the house”. She doesn’t want to “babysit” Kelly. Dunbar explains that the drama in the house centers on “vaginal insecurity”. That’s one way to put it. Kelly and Parisa argue. Now we REALLY get into the new season! Kelly thinks Parisa is jealous of her. She already wants Parisa to go home. Shauvon is lumped in with Parisa by default, so Trisha and Kelly Anne hate her as well. Ah, young girls and their retarded drama.
The next reason to hate Parisa. Trisha is mad that she didn’t clean up the kitchen after she cooked. Domestic drama now! Cut and paste this argument. You have heard this conversation before. Clean up your dirty dishes, you stupid **beep**. The only unique thing about it is the end. Parisa wants to give Trisha some ointment for her “irritation” caused by Parisa. Trisha wants to give Parisa a personality. Yeah, that makes zero sense. Best part of all of this is the guys looking on in complete disbelief. That’s funny!
Fun on the beach. Trisha and Kelly Anne completely bail 2 minutes after getting there. They are hungry and want to go shopping! Who would have thought that? Shauvon decides to go topless, but cover up her breasts. She does a poor job of it. The guys don’t seem to mind. Issac drops down and plants a kiss on her. He wants to have sex with her.
Trisha now complains about the service at McDonalds and the people not being able to speak English. Parisa says Trisha is inconsiderate and mean. Um, Parisa speaks in a combination of English and Persian, I think, to her mother. She can’t change anyone, just live your life. Good words of advice from her mom. Too bad Parisa won’t listen. She just wants to cause trouble.
Trisha and Kelly Anne want Dunbar to join their side in the war. Dunbar is not picking sides. Dunbar realizes Parisa is attracted to him, but he hasn’t met anyone that he will leave his girlfriend for. Hmm, that might have hurt Kelly Anne. He confirms this to his girlfriend later.
Big Boobs McGee a.k.a. Shauvon continues to flirt with Issac. Here is the Cohutta quote of the week, in thick Southern accent of course. “I think I will eat me a piece of an apple!” Random man is here. Issac lets out a gem of a line as well. “Cheers for big rears!” Issac and Shauvon take time to make out in the confessional. How sweet! Shauvon needed to kiss someone and that’s it. Issac is not relationship material for Shauvon, though. Good lord, Parisa has a good line as well. “Issac will be a healthy chunk of man for Shauvon!”
Of course, what would a Real World be without the typical “everything is all nice and good with the roommates at the end of every other episode.” First, Shauvon tries to make up with Trisha and Kelly Anne. She doesn’t want them to talk behind each others’ backs. Later, Kelly Anne and Parisa work out their problems. So they are all friends now. Of course, Trisha still has issues with Parisa. But you can’t win them all. See you next week and welcome back the return/debut of Newport Harbor: The Real Orange County a.k.a. Laguna Beach 2.
THURSDAY
Wild N’ Out
This week’s guest is Jim Jones. He is a rapper. Who knows if he is also funny or not. But he does lead the black team, which consists of Spanky Hayes, Leonard Robinson, Deray Davis, Corey Holcolm, and Rasika Mathur. The red team is Nick Cannon along with Affion Crockett, Mikey Day, Randall Park, Taran Killam, and .
The first round is called “So Fly (So Ballin’)”. Each team has tell why their team captains are so “ballin'” or “fly” in English. Um, red team smokes this for sure. Affion Crockett wins it for them this round.
The second round is called “Plead The Fif”. Team captain take the stand and opposite team members ask embarrassing questions in an attempt for them to not answer them. Good lord, this was an absolute trainwreck to start off with. But lucky for us Affion Crockett saves us and wins it for the red team in a very weak round overall.
The third round is called “R & Beef”. Team members must come up with a R&B song from topics the audience give. The red team has to talk about walking in on your parents making love. The black team has to talk about dating. Ream team wins easily again. No one can beat Affion Crockett. Although, I will say that Deray Davis did try to save the black team but it wasn’t enough.
The final round is “Wildstyle”. Both teams freestyle rap against each other as you should know by now. Might as well make it a complete sweep. Red team wins again thanks to, who else, but Affion Crockett. So this show goes to the Red Team! The MVP goes to the dominating performance of Affion Crockett! Jim Jones is not funny at all!
And that ends the 47th volume of the “MTV Mix”! If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, or feedback of any kind..send them my way!!
I’ll see you next time when we mix things up a bit!
