-Let’s hope I get the tagging right this week shows what happens when you do something in a rush…
-Obviously, 4 McMahons = ratings, so 5 McMahons = MORE ratings, right?
-With Michael Cole and JBL, TAPED! from Youngstown, Ohio.
-Batista vs. Domino w/Deuce and Cherry
Batista starts off with aggression in the corner, followed by a knee to the ribs and three clotheslines. A vertical suplex gets two for Batista. Domino makes a brief comeback, but runs straight into a Boss Man Slam. Batista Bomb is attempted, but Domino bails. Batista takes both Deuce and Domino out with clotheslines, and hits a spear on Domino. Batista Bomb finishes at 3:18. Just an extended squash, albeit an entertaining one. *
-Afterwards, Batista gives Deuce a spinebuster and a Batista Bomb.
-In tonight’s main event, it’s Flair vs. Khali.
-Backstage, Khali shouts incoherently at Batista, who is still in the ring. Runjin translates and says that Batista should enjoy his victory, because he’s not beating Khali at SummerSlam. Cue a video package of last week’s destruction of Flair, and Khali says Batista will suffer the same fate.
-Chuck Palumbo likes riding bikes, in case you didn’t know.
-Tony Chimel introduces a returning Rey Mysterio. Wow, he seems to have grown about six inches since I last saw him. He grabs a mic, and it turns out to be a SWERVE, as it was really Chavo all along. ‘Rey’ cuts a very long winded promo about how Chavo is a much better human being etc., and he doesn’t want to say “I Quit†again. Eugene makes the welcome interruption as Cole talks about the ridiculousness of the situation. Well, Chavo Guerrero dressing up as Rey Mysterio isn’t really that ridiculous, compared to a storyline where Vince McMahon is the father of an illegitimate child, but hey, what do I know?
–Chavo Guerrero vs. Eugene
Chavo is still dressed as Rey for this match. He takes Eugene over with a hurricanrana to start, followed by another. Seated senton is followed by more mocking of Rey, and Chavo calls and botches a 619, falling to the outside. About five people in the crowd fall about in hysterics. Chavo takes the mask off and goes back in, but Eugene fights back with right hands, and Eugene is ALL FIRED UP. Gory Special and the Three Amigos, by Eugene, but a Frog Splash misses. Chavo goes up and hits the real deal, and that gets the pin at 3:57. That certainly went quickly, very enjoyable to watch. *3/4
-Backstage, Victoria’s make-up session with Jan is interrupted by a making out session with Kenny Dykstra. Michelle McCool makes her long awaited and much anticipated return, and says something about why have one man when you can have them all. So as well as being a completely pointless waste of space who loves telling everyone how much she’s enjoying life, she’s a slut, too!
-Recap of what happened on Monday with Vince.
–Mark Henry vs. Sterling Keenan
Cole would hate to see Mark Henry’s offspring, apparently. He then makes an even more ludicrous statement by saying that Henry beat up Undertaker so bad, his soul actually left Smackdown. Anyway, back to the match. Henry destroys Keenan with the usual elbows and punches, and the Bearhug finishes at 1:12. DUD
-Afterwards, Henry grabs a mic and introduces a video package of him making ‘Taker’s soul leave Smackdown. It goes on to show the number of times ‘Taker has been buried alive, burnt, put in a casket etc., but he still keeps coming back. After the video finishes, we see a druid walking to the back with that weird music playing. Henry tries to play it cool though.
-Saturday Night’s Main Event is soon.
-Jesse and Festus are coming to Smackdown.
-Torrie Wilson w/Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Victoria w/Kenny Dykstra
Vickie assaults Torrie to start with, but Torrie rolls her up for a one count, then knocks her down with a clothesline and a neckbreaker for two. Torrie gets knocked outside and Dykstra tries to interfere, but gets dropkicked by Yang. Both men get sent to the back, and Vickie hits the Widow’s Peak at 1:34 for the win. That was certainly short. 1/2*
-Afterwards, Vickie continues to assault Torrie, but Michelle McCool runs in for the save. She tosses Vickie outside, then checks on Torrie.
-Last week, MVP lost to Matt Hardy in an arm wrestling contest, and then a singles match via countout.
-Cole and JBL then talk about the Wellness Program, and how it detected Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome. MVP then cuts an interview from WWE studios, citing the syndrome as an excuse for losing last week. He’ll be back next week, with a challenge for Matt Hardy.
-Up next, Matt Hardy takes on Finlay.
-Triple H returns at SummerSlam.
Matt Hardy vs. Finlay
Couple of lock ups to start, followed by stalling. Finlay takes over with a side headlock. JBL and Cole speculate that Finlay might be Mr. McMahon’s illegitimate ‘son’. Way to give the game away there guys. Apart from the fact that Finlay is only about 10 years younger than Vince. Hardy gets his own headlock, and then nails Finlay with a couple of forearms. Clothesline in the corner, and Matt gets a nearfall. Finlay runs into a reverse elbow, and that gets two as well. Finlay wants a timeout after the elbow, and then cheapshots Hardy with some forearms and a short arm clothesline. Finlay whips Matt into the corner, but runs into a boot. Matt knocks Finlay down with a couple of clotheslines, and gets a bulldog for two. Finlay grabs the advantage by tossing Matt to the floor, and then throwing Matt shoulder first into the ringpost, as we head to a commercial. We’re back, with Finlay working over the shoulder he injured before the break. The great thing about Finlay is that you actually believe he’s trying to hurt someone, not just performing or entertaining. Finlay tries a pin with the feet on the ropes, but referee Mickie Henson is having none of that. More focused assault on the shoulder, before they run into each other with a shoulder block, obviously hurting Matt more. Another armbar by Finlay. Matt tries to fight out with headbutts, but Finlay drives the elbow into the shoulder. Finlay works Matt over in the corner, but Hardy fights back with right hands, and then gets an elbow off the second rope for two. Backslide by Matt gets two. Side Effect gets two. Finlay throws Matt off the second rope by the shoulder, and that gets two. Hornswoggle tries to interfere, but he’s stopped by Noble. Noble chases Hornswoggle to the back, meanwhile in the ring, Hardy gets a rollup for two. Twist of Fate is blocked, but Finlay bails and goes off to protect Hornswoggle, resulting in a countout at 17:14. Best Smackdown match for a couple of months, even with the shitty ending. Finlay’s great on offence and Hardy’s selling is really good, and it made for a nice match. A match worth watching, and I haven’t said that about anything on Smackdown for a long time. ***1/4
-Tonight, it’s Flair vs. Khali.
-Backstage, Noble is looking for Hornswoggle, but only finds Funaki and Shannon Moore. Finlay takes umbrage with Noble’s actions towards Hornswoggle, and ends up spilling Moore’s drink over Kane. Gotta love those drink-spill related feuds involving Kane.
-Sylvan vs. Kane
So much for that new push for Sylvan, then. Kane works over Sylvan in the corner with right hands, and hits a back body drop. Tilt a whirl slam by Kane, followed by punches and elbows in the corner. Seated dropkick by Kane (!) gets two. Clotheslines in the corner by Kane, but he runs into a reverse elbow. Sylvan comes off the second rope, straight into a big boot. Flying clothesline, chokeslam, goodbye at 2:41. Nothing special here folks. 1/2*
-Afterwards, Finlay assaults Kane with the shillelagh, which Cole calsl the ‘dangerous club-like weapon’. Just made me chuckle. I hate it when they do the ‘I’ve never seen anyone beat Kane up like this’ line though – they’ve used that so much this year, with Mark Henry and Khali just off the top of my head.
-Backstage, Vickie Guerrero gives Teddy Long an early wedding gift, right from her heart – Viagra. Cue hilarity. This was wrong on all kinds of levels. Vickie just isn’t the person to be delivering comedy lines, although the material left a lot to be desired in the first place.
-Chris Masters comes out and issues an open Masterlock Challenge. He taunts a big guy in the crowd, but Masters doesn’t want any of him because the guy just got out of prison for manslaughter, so he sends him back. The crowd actually pops for that. Masters chooses another guy who is much smaller, and Masters destroys him.
-Up next, it’s Flair vs. Khali.
-Rey Mysterio comes back at SummerSlam.
-Cole and JBL run down the SummerSlam card so far:
Rey vs. Chavo
Morrison vs. Punk – ECW Title (Extreme Rules)
Cena vs. Orton – WWE Title
Khali vs. Batista – World Title
-Backstage, Batista talks to Flair about his match against Khali tonight. Flair thinks he can win, because he’s the Nature Boy but Batista doesn’t seem too sure.
-The Great Khali vs. Ric Flair
This is non-title. Staredown to start, and Khali overpowers him with a scoop slam. Clothesline by Khali knocks Flair down, followed by a nerve pinch. That continues for a couple of minutes, before Flair makes it to the bottom rope. Overhand chops by Khali, followed by a big boot. Choke in the corner by Khali, but he gets a thumb to the eyes and a low blow. Flair starts strutting and chops away at Khali, followed by punches and more strutting. Flair however struts once too often, and runs into the claw by Khali. That gets the pin at 4:40. Given the participants, this was okay. *
-Afterwards, Khali keeps the claw on Flair, but Batista runs in for the save. He tries to Batista Bomb Khali, but gets clawed too. Batista tries to get out of it with right hands, but Batista is sent down to the mat, just like Flair. Show ends with Khali holding up the belt.
The Inside Pulse
Well I wasn’t a fan of giving Khali the belt, but they’re doing as good a job as could be expected with him – he’s actually becoming fairly entertaining. The claw has made the match at SummerSlam a bit more interesting.
Finlay vs. Hardy was REALLY good, and I was feeling everything else this week. Much better show.
