Yo yo yo yo………yo!
What is up everyone? How are you on this miraculous day? Care for some tarts? Paulie baked them. In his apron no less…ok a little less cuz that is all he was wearing. But we are here and first off I would like to say that Hall of Fame shortstop Phil Rizzuto passed away earlier this week and may he rest in peace. A longtime great that will be remembered by many.
So much death going on lately. Good thing we don’t make fun of sports’ deaths like Hatton and his crew does with wrestler deaths over in the Rabble. Not sure if that was a cheap plug or not. But enough jibba jabba…we wish that you all do not reveal your real name but you have been invited here tonight with the use of an alias. You all have one thing in common, you are each being blackmailed, so until our host arrives, please…
1.) PGA Championship – Tiger Wins/Sergio’s Stupid
Paulie: It’s about damn time Tiger did something this year. Of course, it took the rest of the field apparently sucking to do it. I’m just glad he won a major this year cause then it would be an entire year of “Has Tiger finally lost it?!?!!!!111!!!OMGWTFBBQELEVENTYFOURTEEN!!!1†And then I’d have to kill someone.
As far as Sergio goes, yeah, he was stupid. Of course, I wouldn’t be surprised if Sergio was being an ass on the course and the dude keeping his score marked it wrong on purpose to see if he’d notice. BUT! Do you know what’s more stupid? The fact that in this day of technology and science, they’re still making guys keep up with their little score cards by hand. That’s like making a basketball team have a guy on their bench who’s only job is to keep the other team’s score and at the end of the game if it’s wrong and the other team doesn’t catch it, they get DQ’d. So, boo Sergio being an idiot and not double checking his card. Boo PGA tour and their stupid, archaic rule. Hooray… beer? Yes. Hooray beer!
Charles Joseph: Man that Tiger…he sure can roll the potato. That was the running joke while watching the closing holes last weekend. Or making fun of the announcers for reiterating for the 9 millionth time that NO ONE birdies the 18th. Nice to see Tiger win one, only 6 more and he can retire happy. I didn’t see the Sergio shit cause I fail to pay attention to golf until Sunday. And then it’s in a fight with NASCAR. I know…I’m so hip. But Paulie, all the rules in all the sports are old. That’s what makes them rules. They’ve been there forever so obviously you have to penalize him. In football terms, look at the Roy Williams rule, he broke 3 guys legs with that horse collar tackle, so they made a rule, and even though he wasn’t trying to injure anyone, the rule is still there. So even if Sergio didn’t do it on purpose, the rule is still there and they have to follow it.
Danny: I am happy for Tiger. He played some nice rounds and I was also sick and tired of everyone constantly saying “Tiger hasn’t won a major since this time and he may not win another major til this tourney next year.†Shut up for the love of God. Him not winning a tournament in a while isn’t a big deal. It’s not like it takes away the fact that he is still the best golf player in the entire universe.
As for Sergio, he’s an idiot and I hope he never wins a major. As CJ said, a lot of sports still have old rules in place because they are tradition and it is kind of nice seeing that not everything has to change with the times. Ok so Boo Weekley f*cking up was his deal, but he noticed it and said he even tried to let Garcia know of the error and Sergio was out of the club after the 18th like shot out of a cannon. Not to mention that the final checkover needed to be done by him to make sure Weekley had scored him correctly. I think the fact of choking so many damn times is getting to him and he just doesn’t give a shit anymore. Maybe he can be John Daly’s drinking partner.
2.) David Beckham – Glad To See Him Playing…Maybe
Danny: Wow, the savior of American soccer has been here for what, close to three months? I saw a headline this past Saturday saying, “Beckham may make MLS debut (ankle)!†That is a bit of a mistake because he made his debut last Thursday but Sunday his Galaxy was visiting New England and where was he? Back on the bench. The $32.5 million dollar man (and that’s only his contract) is sitting on his pretty ass as soccer fans all around the country are buying tickets they wouldn’t normally buy, to see him. I’ve been reading articles left and right with quotes from fans saying how disappointed they are that they bought tickets or drove hours to see Beckham play and now he wasn’t. That has to tell those who think he is going to be the Michael Jordan of soccer something. Ya see, without Jordan around…millions of people still watch basketball in the states. If this shit with Beckham continues too much longer, the number of soccer fans is going to dwindle back down to what it was before he arrived. And by the time he does get on the field, his celebrity may already have worn off or will quickly after. People have seen you many times now David, but only on the bench. They aren’t going to give two shits about you once you get on the field now.
Oh and in the meantime his team is 3-6-5 and currently in second to last place in the West.
Paulie: I still want to know why someone is paying this guy all of the profits MLS actually may make. I could honestly care less if he plays or not. Hell, Pele’ couldn’t make soccer catch on in this country, and David Beckham is no Pele’. So let LA pay Mr. Posh more money to sit on the bench than the entire country of Uganda will see in 10 years. I’ll be over here, sitting in a bean bag chair, naked, eating Cheet-o’s.
Charles Joseph: He’s got 5 f*cking years on this contract. Who the hell cares if he plays this year. By the end of his contract we are going to be over saturated with Beckham and won’t give a shit. Not that our Ron White wannabef*cker does at all. His team is terrible, and he’s got a bad ankle. I know we’re not that big on soccer over here, but having a healthy ankle is kind of a necessity in the sport. Lay off him for awhile, he’s gonna be here for awhile.
3.) Barry Bonds Hits 756 And Then Some, Thoughts? – And Will ARod Eventually Catch Him?
Charles Joseph: Ah, the greatest record in sports is now held by the big head in sports. But with that monkey off his back he’s really turned it on. It took him a week to get the record, then he hits 757 and 758 in the next few days. Even with all the steroid scrutiny surrounding Bonds, this was still a big moment in the history of the game. Even if his numbers are eventually found to be fraudulent and wiped from the history books, he’ll always be a footnote in the conversation. I’m glad to see him finally get the record, just so ESPN can stop covering his every breath.
Everyone assumes A-Rod will eventually break the record, and he’s got a great chance after just hitting his 500th the earliest of anyone in history. But I’m not willing to say it’s a certainty just yet. Jimmy Foxx hit his 500th just a little older than A-Rod is now, and Foxx didn’t even reach 600, so to assume Rodriguez is definitely going to get it is absurd. Most people are rooting for A-Rod to get the record because they feel it would be back into “Legitimate†hands. But that black cloud over baseball just opened up again, and Jose Canseco is claiming to have “stuff†on A-Rod. Now, we don’t know what this “stuff†is, it could be that he forgot to tip a waiter one time, but look back at the steroid issue, besides McGuire who has had their career ruined the most? Raffy Palmerio. Who was Raffy’s teammate in Texas? Exactly. And everyone keeps saying that the true number of people on ‘roids is a lot higher than anyone thinks, so I’m not jumping fully behind A-Rod just yet. Not to mention at this rate Bonds is going to approach 800 himself.
Danny: I’m happy Barry got the record. I’m sorry but I’ve been a Giants fan for years so you might as well lump me in with all the people sitting in McCovey Cove. Sure there is the steroid scandal and all the crap with him being juiced and his friend sitting in jail, blah blah blacksheep. It is still an amazing record and it could go a lot higher before he retires which is he is now saying that 2008 will be his last. I am happy for him and I watched it happen and then saw the emotion on his face, especially when he thanked his dad. Hank Aaron appearing on the JumboTron was a nice touch too. Everyone made such a big deal though out of Aaron being asleep when Bonds hit it and Selig not even being there. Big friggin deal, like they needed to see it or something.
As for A-Rod…him getting the record would annoy me simply because I can’t stand him. But the kid still has a long time to play and is on a tear so I know that one day he’ll eventually get it. That is if he doesn’t suffer the fact of the fan who may have the record by now due to injuries…one Ken Griffey Jr.
Paulie: My only wish would have been that Bonds hit 756 off the only man who comes anywhere near his own level of douche-baggery… Rodger Clemens. That would have been nice. And that’s really my only issue with Big Head Barry. He’s a douchebag. He’s always been a great hitter. But then he saw Sam and Mac get all the accolades with their homers and so he decided to go and find the code for the Big Head cheat and start turning all those contact singles into rockets over the fence. 756 is a number. It will be broken. Whether it be in 5-7 years by A-Rod or in 50 years by a Dominican that’s currently in the minors but who’s birth certificate will say that he is certifiably only 38. People hate Barry. The rainbows of San Fran love Barry. Me? I meh Barry. He was a first ballot Hall of Famer who got jealous and may or may not have done things to tarnish his legacy in pursuit of a number. Now, call me back when a pitcher gets 400 wins.
4.) Anfernee “Penny†Hardaway’s Comeback – Worth It?
Paulie: Penny Hardaway is still playing ball? Jeebus, I thought injuries forced him to retire like 10 years ago. Of course, I thought the same thing about Grant Hill, but at least when Hill is healthy he still has something to contribute to a team. Penny hasn’t been worth a roster spot in years. His injuries have totally killed his game and his signing is probably only because Shaq missed his little buddy and wanted to do him a favor. His playing days are long past over. Hopefully Pat Riley will realize this before it’s too late.
Charles Joseph: Anfernee just had too many injuries to deal with, although I don’t think any of them were as serious as some of Grant Hill’s. He’s been out of the game for 2-3 years now, he’s probably as healthy as ever it’ll take him some time to get back into the swing of things, but I think he’ll be a capable role player for the Heat. It doesn’t really help the heat though. One of their problems is age, and Penny pushes that farther the wrong direction.
Danny: Penny hasn’t played since 2005 and should have left it that way. See, he hasn’t played due to the mounting injuries he has had to deal with and this comeback is not going to help him any. That is if you really want to call it a comeback because I don’t see how much playing time he is going to get on that Heat squad. Reggie Miller is contemplating a comeback, but he retired. And mind you I don’t think Reggie should come back either, it is a different story for Penny. The guy is right up there with Grant Hill and he’s not going to contribute a damn thing. He’s barely a shadow of his former self, and this is going to drag his name down even further.
Wonder if I could still get any cash for my Penny jersey from when he was with the Magic.
5.) Watkins Glen / Kyle Busch Signs With Gibbs Racing
Charles Joseph: The story of race was clearly the altercation between Kevin Harvick and Juan Pablo Montoya. Most weeks Harvick would have been in the right, because it does seem as though Montoya wrecks someone every week, but this time Truex clearly tapped Montoya and sent him up into Harvick. The pushing match was kind of weak. Montoya said he was upset that Harvick was pushing him, but Montoya was the one starting all the pushing, Harvick came over and grabbed Montoya’s helmet to talk to him, and Montoya flipped and started pushing Harvick. I usually don’t like Harvick, but I would have loved to see Harvick beat the shit out of Montoya.
Oh, and Stewart kept his hot streak up. He’s going to be a force in the chase. He had the best car all day, he proved that by driving away from the field the first time he got the lead. Then he spins his car, drops back to 19th, and drives through the field to win the race anyway. He’s on a mad streak right now, and if he keeps it up through the end of the season the championship is his.
Secondary story, Gibbs racing is making a run at HMS for best team on paper. Stewart is showing his dominance. Hamlin is 2nd or 3rd in points right now, and now they bring in Kyle Busch to take JJ Yeley’s ride. The younger Busch has been raved about having the most raw talent of any driver on the circuit. I think Busch going to Gibbs is going to be great for him, he’s clearly going to be given a good car every week, and Stewart should be able to give him some good advice about controlling his emotions and focusing on the track. Between Gibbs and HMS they should have 6 of the 12 chase teams next year, and Mears could sneak in too.
Danny: I was hoping for so much more between Montoya and Harvick and was extremely disappointed when it ended in nothing. And even though Montoya started the pushing as you said CJ, I would have done the same thing. You don’t bring your ass over to someone and grab them by the helmet and expect them not to retaliate in some form or another. Meanwhile there was a race going on and when Stewart dropped back as far as he did, I had totally forgotten about him. I never expected him to make that leap back up the way he did, but I’d have to say he is the frontrunner now for the rest of the season.
Busch signing with Gibbs Racing is good for two reasons. It is first and foremost going to help the kid because I think this is what he needed. His skills are well above what he had access to and now with better cars and some more leadership, he’s going to be noticed a lot more and much faster. Second of all, maybe this will entice Joe Gibbs off the sidelines in the NFL. Never have liked him.
Paulie: Who the what now? RIGHT TURNS! OMG! I saw highlights. Gordon handed Stewart the win. And NASCAR drivers are pussies when it comes to fighting. AHM GUNNA GRAB YER HAT AN JERK IT!
Who’s Kyle Busch? With a name like Kyle he sounds like the kinda kid most NASCAR fans would rather beat the crap out of.
You want to see movies? Then head over to The DVD Lounge where there are a lot of good people watching a lot of crap so you don’t have to. And for a person who has over 1300 DVDs and watches every movie imaginable, Travis really finds some things that even I have never heard of.
Popcorn Junkies is a place you really need to go check out as well because there are great people like Caroline, Ping, Michaelangelo, Kubryk, and more bringing you news and movie reviews at all hours of the night and day.
Check out Andy Wheeler’s “For Your Consideration†column this week as he lets us know why fans should hate TNA!
Murtz Jaffer interviews The Hills‘ Whitney Port, check it out.
And we are done…finito…finished…fin…all the words that mean get the f*ck out of here is what we are. As always, check here in the forums to yell at us or e-mail any one of us. From what I understand, every time Paulie gets a new e-mail…another embryo appears in his wife’s body. So flood that e-mail box!
Next week we are going to have another special since the College Football Season starts in just about two weeks. You’re going to get our news and views on the Top 10, Heisman, and beyond. A really good friend of mine once asked if the trophy for best college player was named after Joe Theismann. You know…the Theismann Trophy? Yall may want to ask Matt about that one if he ever returns. A-HEM!
Have you seen the movie Zodiac yet? If not, you need to. Check my review out over in the Lounge or just go get it. Best flick of the year by far. I don’t care what comes out from now until December 31, it won’t beat it.
Enjoy your week and weekends and remember…plea deals still mean jail time usually, so I’m happy.
