So the show starts with Estrada in the ring, which is full of weapons. With no surprise, the first match with extreme rules, which brings a nice cheer from the crowd. He’s gonna handle Justin Robert’s duties for this match apparently as he introduces the wrestlers.
Big Daddy V over Tommy Dreamer by Samoan drop through a table
Dreamer doesn’t look very enthusiastic. Remember, this is the guy who didn’t blink at fighting the Big Show in the first few weeks of ECW to welcome his to the program. Dreamer starts in on V, but attempts a body slam and gets crushed for his troubles. He goes for the kendo stick but it gets snapped in two. V crushes Dreamer with a chair, wedges a shopping cart in the corner and slams Dreamer, following that up withh tossing him into the cart in the corner.
V sets up Dreamer in the corner and runs to splash him, but Dreamer moves out of the way, which gives him time to grab a table, but he gets cut off before he can get back into the ring. V sends him back into the ring and follows with a few headbutts, then grabs the table Dreamer brought into the ring. The table’s set up in the middle of the ring and Dreamer’s got a trash can, which does NOTHING to V. V throws Dreamer to the ropes and hits a Samoan drop onto the table for the three count.
Uh oh. Vince is on the program tonight. Dammit.
We’re reminded that there’s an ECW title match this weekend and this time we’re shown a nice little package on C.M. Punk.
But back to Vince, who is still looking for his kid with the Coach at his side. Coach hints that there’s a wrestler that fits the bill, and it’s Balls Mahoney! Balls and Vince have a pretty funny exchange that ends with Vince yelling “I HAVE NO BALLS” at Balls Mahoney. That’s pretty good stuff. I’m informed that was shot at Saturday Night’s Main Event, but not shown on the broadcast. Oh well, still funny.
Elijah Burke vs. Balls Mahoney
Balls has pretty good crowd support. Match starts with a combo of headlocks and hammer locks til Balls throws Burke to the ropes and sholder blocks him down. Balls gets Burke from behind in a reverse waist lock and Elijah reverses it into a hammer lock. Balls reverses it, Burke runs to the ropes and gets hit with a HARD arm drag by Balls.
Balls goes for the punches, but Burke cuts it short with a punch from underneath and sends hi shoulder first into the ring post. Elijah brings a towel into the ring, but the ref tyakes it away long enough for Burke to get behind him and throw Balls’ leg into the post. Elijah hits the hanging elbow and focuses on Balls’ shoulder.
Burke pulls on Balls arm, which gets the crowd behind him, which of course means his rally will be cut short, and it is. An inside cradle on Burke gets a two after the both miss elbows on the canvas. TWO!
Balls hits Burke with some punches and a clothesline, which leads to THE punches, which Balls hits all of them. Burke walks into a big spinebuster, but it only gets a two. TWO!
Burke comes back and focuses on the arm and misses a splash in the corner and gets rolled up for a three! Balls celebrates with the crowd, and is still selling the shoulder. Nice touch.
We transition into John Morrison’s video package.
Did you know Triple H is coming back? Just in case you didn’t, they have a video package for you.
Backstage, Balls is insulted by the Miz, who insinuates that Balls needs money for a girl like Kelly Kelly.
Backstage Kevin Thorn gives a few moments of an interview before being interrupted by Stevie! Ha! Arn Anderson and Mike Rotundo are there again to separate the two wrestlers. Good thing Stevie jumped him, because if I had to listen to Thorn speak for a second more I would have thrown up.
Back to the important stuff, Vince is still looking for his bastard. Coach brings in C.M. Punk. Punk says “Hi Vince”, but is met with “That’s Mr. McMahon.” Vince reminds us about Punk beings straight edge and Punk comes back with what else he doesn’t do.
Punk: There’s one other thing I don’t do Vince. I don’t have dirty unprotected sex with some money-grubbing skank who eventually files a paternity suit against me, which gets me kicked out of my own house which leaves with nothing but a living breathing national disgrace.
Nice.
John Morrison & The Miz over CM Punk & The Boogeyman
After a few minutes of entrances, we’re ready to actually star this thing. I can’t imagine this ending cleanly, but I’ve been surprised before. We start with Miz and Punk. Miz gives a shove and Punk gives three round house kicks. Punk tags in Boogeyman and Boogey threatens the Miz with some worms. The Miz runs behind the girls, which prompts Boogey to throw the worms on them. Whoops.
After a short commercial break we’re back and Punk has control over Morrison, but that doesn’t last long. After a few back and forth running reversals, Punk gets Morrison with a high kick. Boogey is tagged in and spits worms on Morrison. Gross. Morrison ducks a shot on the apron and hits Boogey with a standing enziguiri. Boogey goes for the throat, but is cut off short with a boot to the gut.
Morrison goes into the corner and Boogey grabs the legs and pulls to launch Morrison into the air and fips and lands on his stomach. Nice. The Miz is tagged in and Boogey has to pull him into the ring. Boogey grabs a leg and Punk tags himself in behind Boogey ad hits a NASTY STANDING ENZIFUIRI to the back of the Miz’ head. AWESOME.
Punk attacks with some chops and gets a whip tot eh corner reversed. No problem as he raises a boot to block it. Punk goes to the top turnbuckle, but Morrison pushes him and sends him crashing to the floor. Miz puts on some hurtin and sends him back to the ring. The Miz pounds on Punk for a moment and walks him to the heel corner and Morrison is tagged in and Punk and Morrison have each other in a move that I can’t quite place but it look similar to what happens right before you drop a neckbreaker.
Morrison continues the punishment and tags in the Miz. The Miz gets a two. TWO! and goes for the shoulder/neck. Punk punches out of a submission, but his comeback gets cut short, as usual on WWE programming. The Miz gets a double leg takedown and goes for a catapult into an elbow from Morrison. Morrison only gets a two after a springboard elbow. TWO! A clothesline and another two. TWO!
Punk pulls Punk away from the face corner, holds the leg and tags in the Miz, who drops a few elbow and why don’t I continue this run on sentence? Morrison tags in and goes for a headlock, which gets fought out of by Punk. Morrison puts Punk on the top turnbuckle, but it gets reversed into a sunset flip/power bomb. Morrison tags in the Miz who cuts off Punk before he can get to Boogey. Punk hits a backslide for a two. TWO! Punk hits a powerslam for a two. TWO!
Morrison takes out Boogey and Punk planchas Morrison outside the ring, followed by a springboard splash inside the ring. That gets a two, TWO! and Punk goes for a GTS on the Miz, who tags in Morrison Morrison waits until after Punk hits the GTS and hits an enziguiri and whatever his swinging finisher is called.
That’s the show for this week. Not bad for a PPV lead off. I’d liek to see more ECE matches happening at the PPV, but I suppose that I can’t have everything. Or two ECW matches.
