Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine is doing some quick damage control after allegedly telling Russian magazine Exile that knockout tennis star Maria Sharapova (whom he met in 2005, at her 18th birthday party) is terrible in the sack. While the magazine still stands by the interview that it conducted with Levine last month, Levine himself is vehemently denying having ever said anything of the sort.
“She wouldn’t make any noise during sex. I can’t tell you how disappointed I was. I really thought, like a lot of guys, that she’d be the loud screaming type. But instead, she just lay there like a dead frog. She even got angry if I started to moan; said it ‘ruined her concentration.’ It was so disillusioning that I went on Paxil for a month afterwards [to prolong ejaculation]. Really, it was much more of a shock than when I found out there’s no such thing as the Easter Bunny.”
But Exile apparently concocted the entire thing, as Levine later told other, less Commie reporters, that it’s “absolutely not true” that he said any of that. Personally, I think he did say it, but didn’t think it would make it out of Russia. It’s regardless whether or not it’s actually true that Sharapova is a “dead frog” in bed, though I’d be willing to bet that that’s not true (seeing as she shrieks and moans every time she hits the damn ball), and that Levine was just mad when she canned his ass after a matter of weeks.
I’d be pissed, too, but even I have my limits. Even the biggest assholes in the world know that it’s uncouth to talk publicly about former lovers’ bedside manners, but remember that Adam Levine has previously dated Paris Hilton, so he’s obviously a scumbag. Or maybe it true. Maybe Maria Sharapova really was motionless the whole, because he happens to be lame in the sack.
I’m probably in the majority of guys who would still totally hit it, even if she is a “dead frog”.
