In a World (Wrestling Entertainment) where size and impressive appearance have always been valued and rewarded more than skill and ability, the more normal sized men who are great athletes, acrobats and entertainers have always been pushed away from the spotlight. But now more than ever, with a ridiculous gimmick character carrying what should be the premier wrestling championship in the world, WWE’s Cruiserweight Division is barely on life support. And the sad thing is, it wouldn’t take very much effort to bring it back to life and make it the showcase of Vince McMahon’s five-hour weekly lineup.
TODAY’S ISSUE: CruiserMania!
I’ve touched on this concept a few times recently, but with Hornswoggle’s contemptible reign as cruiserweight champion, it’s time to take a deeper look at the division that could be but isn’t. WWE has a host of fantastic cruiserweights under contract, but consistently fails to develop the division and utilize these men in a significant way. For the record, one thrown-together, rushed match or battle royal on the occasional ppv does not fill the square whatsoever.
WWE could easily feature two 15-minute or longer cruiserweight matches on SmackDown! each week, or make half the Friday show the “Cruiserweight Hourâ€Â, or better yet, move the lot of them over to ECW, along with the CW strap. ECW often seems to drift aimlessly anyway, so anything they could do to provide purpose (and a secondary championship) to ECW would tighten the hour and create focus and identity for the former Tribe of the Extreme. Without a doubt, matches like Shannon Moore versus Jamie Noble for 20 minutes would be far superior to most of what’s happening on SciFi Tuesday nights.
London and Kendrick enjoyed their storybook underdog dominance of the SmackDown! tag ranks for the better part of a year. But now that they’ve been drafted to the tag team-heavy RAW brand, why not put these two unbelievable performers back in singles action? Their one and only match against each other while wearing the tag team belts was an impressive affair, and the naturally resulting feud (which never materialized) could have been gold. Give that story another chance to play out and watch the magic happen before your eyes, Creative Department monkeys.
Stupid “resident redneck†gimmick aside, Jimmy Yang is a very talented high-flyer, and with his experience and ability, he could produce masterful matches against just about anybody, but they’ve got to give the artist a blank canvas. An actor can only steal a scene that he’s in, and a cruiserweight can only wow fans when he’s given more than three minutes to tell a story between the ropes.
“The Pit Bull†Jamie Noble is a horse of a different color compared to the standard cruiserweight archetype. He’s not an acrobat, but a very solid mat wrestler who knows how to craft an in-ring tale for viewers to enjoy. He’s got a mean disposition and a move-set to go with it. Noble would just as soon smack you in the mouth as shake your hand, and there’s certainly room for somebody like that among all the risk-takers in the cruiserweight division.
“The Prince of Punk†Shannon Moore is often overlooked, underutilized, and under appreciated. But lest we forget, he was trained by the Hardy brothers in their OMEGA federation along with Gregory Helms, Steve Corino, Joey Matthews, Christian York, and others. So you know the kid can go. His punk-rocker gimmick was solid enough to have worked for him, except that it was dropped with no explanation. Nice job, Creative.
Although he’s currently out injured, the former Hurricane Helms was a true highlight of the night during his year-long reign as Cruiserweight Champion, the longest reign of any champion in the history of SmackDown!. The only problem was that he didn’t defend his gold very often. I wish he had, because Sugar Shane managed to fuse typical cruiserweight aerobatics with solid ground-and-pound intensity, and his cocky heel persona seemed a much better fit for the man who once played a boy band member and a would-be superhero. He was right at home in his obnoxious “I’m better than everyone†gimmick, and I look forward to his return to the squared circle. Get well soon, Mr. Helms.
Rey Mysterio flopped as a heavyweight, even with the big gold belt, because he was booked into oblivion. He’s one of the more amazing, innovative smaller men ever in mainstream US pro wrestling, so Creative should just book him as a dynamic cruiserweight and let him shine. Rey needs to shave about 30 pounds of questionable muscle mass that he suddenly acquired upon entering WWE. Take a look back at his WCW run, circa 1997. He wasn’t anywhere near as puffy as he is today. Think that extra weight’s helping him with his bad knees? Me neither.
Speaking of Rey-Rey, his SummerSlam opponent is the keeper of the Guerrero Holy Grail of wrestling. Chavo literally grew up in the business, evidenced by the easy way about him in every situation in front of the camera. Bringing his immense wealth of knowledge to work every day allows him to be very convincing in whatever he does, including his recent head games with Mysterio, such as taunting Rey’s mask as if Mysterio were inside it, and slipping it onto his fallen opponents before attacking their leg as he did to Rey-Rey last October. Chavo has all the skill, charisma, and lineage you could want in a pro wrestler. If given the opportunity, he could be such a strong focal point of any angle or storyline.
CM Punk might be a bit small to be seen by most as a credible heavyweight, but his unique blend of styles and RoH upbringing would allow him to shine as an anti-stereotype cruiserweight to be reckoned with. Punk could tear the house down against non-standard cruisers like Jamie Noble, Helms and Guerrero, to say nothing of the money match WWE could build between Punk and Mysterio.
There are a few other strong “utility players†in the ranks of WWE’s lower weight class, like Funaki, Nunzio, and Super Crazy. These veterans could easily be cast in whatever role is needed to jump into the mix where required. Each knows how to work a match and respond to the call of duty when necessary. They’d be well utilized on the house show circuit and could get an occasional “staring role†on television once in a while to keep the ranks fresh and ensure the performers feel motivated and appreciated. They’re certainly capable of more than their current one-off stints usually allow.
And in the interest of keeping things fresh, Jeff Hardy could make an occasional appearance in a multi-wrestler cruiserweight match to shake things up and pop the crowd. The so-called “Rainbow-Haired Warrior†always draws big-time babyface heat, and he’d be the ideal surprise entrant in gauntlet matches or battle royals. He doesn’t have to carry the strap, just add a little intrigue from time to time.
With the rumors of Matt Sydal signing, the cruiserweight division is in an ideal position to take center stage and bring a consistent, reliable improvement to WWE’s in-ring product, if only they’d let Noble obliterate Hornswoggle to end his reign of so-called comedy and restore some dignity to the gold. It wouldn’t take too many hard-fought title defenses by Noble against some of the wrestlers listed above to slowly bring back some prestige and importance to a title with such a proud tradition of excellence.
At the peak of their success in the late 90’s, World Championship Wrestling employed a perfectly suitable strategy. Their cruiserweights tore it up early in the night, satisfying the true wrestling fans in the crowd before making way for the larger, slower, less innovative main event superstars like Hogan, Piper, Flair, Savage, Luger, Nash, and the rest of the nWo-versus-WCW cast of characters.
WCW’s phenomenal cruiserweight division featured such luminaries as Chris Jericho, He Whose Name We Do Not Dare To Speak, the late, great Eddie Guerrero, Dean Malenko, Juventud Guerrera, Rey Mysterio, Billy Kidman, Psychosis, and Ultimo Dragon. There’s no doubt this was a dream team of great performers, but WWE’s current cruiserweight roster is just as impressive, and could carry the in-ring action just as well as WCW’s all-star lineup once did. I believe many of today’s fans would be more than happy to get their wrestling fix from the undercard before the main event shenanigans.
Let the heavyweights have lumbering freaks like Khali, style-over-substance characters like John Cena, and niche oddities like Umaga. I have no problem with any of them, as long as the undercard provides the great wrestling action that I crave. All McMahon needs to do is take one objective look at the talent pool he commands to realize he could make money from all the guys who weigh far less than 275 pounds. But as long as he’s concerned with limousine explosions, illegitimate sons, and one more Diva Search contest, I doubt he’ll find the time to see what some of us see so clearly. Oh well. When’s Ring of Honor’s next ppv?
We now return you to your regularly scheduled reality.
p.s. – “If a man does his best, what else is there?†– General George S. Patton, 1885-1945
Before you go, check out our roundtable for WWE’s SummerSlam, compare our picks to PK’s live coverage, and look below to see how we fared.
IP Staff Roundtable Results for SummerSlam
Andrew Wheeler
WWE SummerSlam (26 Aug 07): 6-2
Total: 36-18
Iain Burnside
WWE SummerSlam (26 Aug 07): 6-2
Total: 88-51
Mark Allen
WWE SummerSlam (26 Aug 07): 6-2
Total: 34-14
Danny Cox
WWE SummerSlam (26 Aug 07): 5-3
Total: 80-74
Raffi Shamir
WWE SummerSlam (26 Aug 07): 5-3
Total: 12-12
Matthew Michaels
WWE SummerSlam (26 Aug 07): 5-3
Total: 67-70
Vinny Truncellito
WWE SummerSlam (26 Aug 07): 4-4
Total: 131-88
