Live Report From WWE’s SummerSlam

PPVs, Reviews

*WARNING* This contains spoilers for every match that occured at SummerSlam, so if you’re trying to avoid results, stop reading NOW!

Arrived at the arena early and had to wait outside for almost an hour before they very slowly let the crowd enter the building. Everyone passed the time by ‘woo’ing and chanting ‘Cena Sucks’. When we got to our seats, we found out that they re-arranged the sections, so instead of being third row like we were supposed to be, we were pushed back to the first row of the second section. Not bad seats by any means, but after the kind of money we spent on tickets, you’d think we’d get what we paid for. Because of that, and the fact that I forgot my various signs, I started off in a down mood, but as soon as the lights dimmed and the event started, things really kicked up and I ended up having a blast.

In a dark match, Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch defeat Paul London & Brian Kendrick to retain the World Tag Team Championships. Cade pinned Kendrick after a sitout spinebuster. Solid action, almost an extended version of their recent TV match. Crowd was really into it. **

Kane defeat Finlay following a chokeslam. No idea why they kick off a PPV with a match that no one should care about, considering it was added at the last minute. Thankfully, the crowd loved Kane and cheered real loud for him. Finlay was great disecting Kane’s ribs, and it ended up being a pretty darn good match because of both the workover from Finlay and the selling from Kane. At one point, Kane was ready to chokeslam Finlay but his ribs were too hurt to get him up, and Finlay went back on the offense. Hornswoggle came in to try and help Finlay, but Kane chased him off and was able to fight through the pain and beat Finlay. Much better than I thought it would be, and one of Kane’s better performances. **3/4

Umaga defeat Carlito and Mr. Kennedy in a triple threat to retain the Intercontinental Championship. Umaga won after hitting Kennedy with the Samoan Spike and pinned him. The match itself was alright, just a basic triple threat formula with the two heels teaming up on Umaga whenever they can, while Umaga fights them off due to his massive size and strength. Nothing noteworthy aside from Umaga double-suplexing both of his opponents. Still worth checking out as there was some overall good work from everyone involved. **1/2

Rey Mysterio defeat Chavo Guerrero by pinning him after a 619 and springboard body splash. Great, great match, made even better that Mysterio didn’t show any signs of ring rust or anything. These two worked their butts off and told a great story in the ring, with Chavo obviously attacking the leg of Mysterio viciously, only to have Mysterio return the favor during his comeback, almost snapping until the ref pulled him away which really put over how angry Mysterio was. Crowd loved Rey and hated Chavo, very vocal the entire time. Definitely worth checking out. ***1/2

Beth Phoenix defeat every other diva in a Battle Royale, earning herself a future Women’s Championship shot. Crowd actually was into the match, but other than that, nothing to report. *

At this point, MVP came to the ring and talked about being better than the common man, and drinks only high-class drinks worthy of the most valuable player. MVP says that he’s going to lower himself to drinking beer in a drinking contest with Matt Hardy, who comes out to a big pop. Hardy starts to talk but gets drowned out by “We Want Austin” chants. Hardy talks about MVP using a replacement in their boxing match, so he’s gonna use a replacement tonight, which brings out “Stone Cold” Steve Austin! Austin comes out to a huge pop and tons of ‘Austin’ chants, as he does a few exercises before drinking a beer and stunning MVP. I wish Austin cut a promo, but the fact that I finally saw the man live in such a shocking and entertaining way, I was estatic. Plus, MVP and Hardy needed to be on the pay-per-view, so even though they weren’t the focus, it was a smart move.

John Morrison defeat CM Punk to retain the ECW World Championship. Morrison did the old ‘feet-on-the-ropes’ pin for the win. This…this sucked. Started with some decent action for a few minutes, and then it was over out of nowhere. To boot, Morrison screwed up getting his feet on the ropes, so it made Punk look stupid for not kicking out. Their match on TV from a few weeks ago destroys this. *

Triple H defeat King BOOKAH via pinfall after a Pedigree. HUGE reaction for Triple H, and it didn’t stop until about two minutes into the match. As for the actual match, there was some solid action from both men but Triple H actually appeared to be a few steps behind, acting sluggish at certain parts. It ended up ultimately being a squash, but it was really cool to see the ‘King Of Kings’ in his return match. **

Batista defeat Khali via disqualification when Khali nailed him with a chair, thus Khali retains the World Heavyweight Championship. This wasn’t an entertaining trainwreck, it was just a bad match…I was hoping for the former. LOUD ‘boring’ chant when Khali was working the nerves of Batista. After the match, Batista gave Khali a few good chairshots to the back. *

John Cena defeat Randy Orton by pinning him after an FU to retain the WWE Championship. I didn’t see the entirety of the match because I was too busy cheering Orton and booing Cena (not because I’m an Orton fan, but because I hate Cena), and the crowd seemed to be doing the same thing. This crowd was split RIGHT down the middle, and didn’t quiet down for a second for the entire match…in fact, my ears are still ringing. In the ring, these guys really worked hard, Orton especially, and they strayed away from the usual patterns both men like to use which made for a very exciting, fresh match. Too much action to try and remember right now, but these guys deserve a lot of credit…even though both men could stop wrestling tomorrow and I’d be happy. The fact that Cena won AGAIN just makes me feel sick…who the hell can legitimately challenge him now? ***3/4

There were three backstage segments tonight (excluding the King BOOKAH interview) with McMahon, Coach, Regal, and Long. The first one was centered around McMahon’s illegimate child, with Santino ‘The Fan’ Marella singing to him about possibly being his son, and Regal then telling Vince he could possibly be his kid, but Vince says he wouldn’t do a British girl with Coach’s you-know-what. The second segment involved Cryme Tyme coming in and talking about being just like McMahon because they wanted that money-money (yeah-yeah), and proceeded to dance around him. Coach and Long joined in, as all four men danced around. Finally, JTG put his hat on Regal, who started doing the whackiest white-boy dance of all time, which is met with a ‘Damn!’ from Ron Simmons. The last segment saw Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young appear, with Young jumping on McMahon and trying to kiss him all over. After some struggle, Young and Moolah are finally ejected from the room and McMahon says he has a really weird taste in his mouth. Coach offers him a tic-tac, but McMahon gives his infamous grin and says he actually likes the taste. All of the segments were entertaining, but the second one was downright hilarious and I really can’t wait to watch it again.

The Inside Pulse
Most of the show exceeded my expectations, in some cases by a long shot, and the bad stuff was kept short. Crowd was hot, matches were overall solid, backstage segments were funny…pretty good show that might be worth a DVD purchase, depending on how it all comes across on TV.