We’re changing music AGAIN this week. I’m not sure who this one is. Is this going to become a usual thing?
Morrison comes out first, and he’s got a new entrance schtick with involves some slo-mo camera work. He’s got a mic and no doubt a memorized speech as well, so he can deliver it as dead pan as anything.
“Can you feel it? Summerslam, a perfect combination of time and place. I united the people, united the audience and set the night of fiiiiire. CM Punk’s fifteen minutes of fame came to a crashing halt and just like God created a new reality when he formed the word, I created a new reality for CM Punk and I proved once again why I’m the guru of greatness, the Tuesday night delight, the ECW champion John Morrison.”
Does the Ultimate Warrior write this guy’s promos? Cause it certainly seems like it. He runs down each of the contenders, starting with the Boogeyman. Some more lame cliches later, moves on to the Miz. The ladies scream, the men boo. Insert masturbating joke here. Next up, he and I agree on something. Big Daddy V. For the sake of humanity, let’s hope he doesn’t win. Next up: CM Punk. How many opportunities does this guy need? You’re speaking the gospel Morrison. He doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, blah blah blah. Apparently he doesn’t win championships either. OH SNAP!
I didn’t mention, he’s without fuzzy coat today.
The German goth/industrial hits and Kevin Thorn is upset. More upset than usual. Like someone asked if he bought his cape at Hot Topic. Or at Utopia on Long Island. The Long Islanders are laughing.
Kevin Thorn over Stevie Richards by Original Sin
Again? This makes four, right? Three wins so far with Stevie Richards. Thorn overpowers Stevie, but gives up speed to Stevie with some punches, but overpowers him again and throws punches, kicks and drop elbows. Thorn tosses Stevie to the corner and pounds on him some more.
Stevie comes back, but his comeback is short as Thorn continues the beat down. Thorn pulls Stevie’s throat over the connector between the post and the turnbuckle. Cant say I’ve seen anyone use it before.
Styles talks about Stevie’s neck surgery and how they went through his throat to fix it and that’s why Thorn is targeting the throat. Stevie sells the throat and gets beat some more.
Stevie grabs Thorn and pulls him down on his knees and hits some round house kicks and an enziguiri before Thorn comes back. Stevie gets a roll up, but it’s only a two. TWO!
Thorn hits a torture rack back breaker, followed with the Original Sin for the three count. That seemed counterproductive. For over a month they’ve been pushing Stevie, only to have him cut down in such a decisive victory for Thorn. He’s lost so many times, this seems like a fluke.
We’re back in Albany. We go to a promo video for the Boogeyman. I could guess that the reason for all of these is that it’s a few das after Summerslam and all those people who watched are tuning in… probably not. More likely the same amount of people watch every week, give or take a few.
Balls is backstage with the Miz and he’s making fun of Balls and stifling Kelly’s dissent. The Miz says that he wants to make sure that the win last week wasn’t a fluke. More tension and Kelly throws him a “good luck” before walking away. Looks like we’re going to have a Balls Mahoney match. Woot!
Backstage, Morrison is with Estrada, and Morrison should be comfortable when watching the match. Somehow, CM Punk got into the room and is eating some fruit, cantalope to be exact. And it’s tasty. CM Punk doesn’t want any chances given to him, he’ll earn it without needing to have his feet on the ropes. Oh. Burn.
Here comes the Miz with Extreme Expose. For some reason, Kelly is happy and posing with all the girls, despite what JUST happened backstage. She must have a good memory just like miss Teen South Carolina.
Elijah Burke over Balls Mahoney by Elijah Express
Continuing the theme of rematches from last week, here’s Balls Mahoney vs. Elijah Burke. Kelly is smiling and clapping. That’s important stuff.
Burke throws some forearms to start and follows it up with some knees and more forearms. Balls reverses an irish whip and arm drags Burke, followed with a clothesline. Kelly is standing and applauding, which distracts Balls and gives Burke the opportunity to throw him into the corner and continue his offense. Burke continues the offense, moving from Balls torso to his legs. Burke hit the hanging elbow in the corner after throwing Balls leg into the post.
The crowd is firmly behind Balls, as I’m pretty sure they’re an old school crowd, as Albany was one of the towns that ECW used to hit. Balls gest a backslide for a two. TWO!
Burke throws a few fists in the corner and Balls moves in the corner to let Elijah hit the turnbuckles and gets rolled up for two. TWO!
Burke hits the clothesline/backsweep combo and goes for a headlock. Balls fights out and gets cut short by Burke with an attempted suplex. Balls hits the suplex and it’s time for the punches. The crowd eats it up and Balls hits the Nutcracker Suite but Burke gets his foot on the rope. Bad ring placement. Balls goes to the top, but Burke cuts him short and hits a superplex. Balls goes to the corner and Elijah readies the express and hits it on Balls’ shoulder. Three seconds later, the match is over.
Post match, The Miz announces the loser of the match and Kelly sulks behind like she just told the world that there aren’t enough maps to find America on. Kelly strays into the ring and checks on Balls as the other Nitro Girls and the Miz look on in confusion.
Remember that #1 contender match? It’s next.
Does anyone else want to know why the hell the WWE decided it would be a good idea to let Rey Jr. return in silver makeup? Why not return with the iconic look? That way however many million people who are very going to see the show don’t automatically go “what the hell is he wearing all over his body” when they watch the match. Somehow I doubt it’s a permanent change, so why do it at a big show? That’s beyond me.
CM Punk over The Miz & Big Daddy V & The Boogeyman by GTS
Hopes are running low with the match starting at 10:56. Boogeyman is sporting the “classic” look rather than the black and red look. I wonder why they bother using the black and red with the graphics for the matches if they use this face paint.
V clears house to start, targeting the Boogeyman, the squashing Punk in the corner, then head butting the Miz. The Miz gets a sidewalk slam and the Boogeyman comes back in. Finally they go head to head. Boogey attacks first but gets tripped by the Miz. V gorilla presses Punk and tosses him out of the ring. That’ll bruise.
The Miz is fighting Boogey outside and V interrupts to slap the chest of the Miz. Next up is Punk, who also gets a slap in the chest. Nice “Mabel” chant going on. Does anyone else find the irony that he’s now in ECW?
V attempts to do something that involves running at Punk, but he moves and V winds up in the first row. The Miz drives Punk into the stairs, runs into the ring and delivers a knee to the Boogeyman, who was attempting to enter the ring. Punk. s back in and boots the face of a charging Miz. Miz throws Punk head first into the turnbuckle and hits a running jumping clothesline, but can only get a two. TWO!
Punk hits some round house kicks on the Miz and slams him in the center of the ring. Punk misses a leg drop and the Miz goes on offense stretching out the neck of Punk. Where is Boogeyman and Big Daddy V?
Both men in the ring struggle to get up, Punk’s up first and lands a few knees and a whip into the corner followed with the rising knee, bulldog and springboard clothesline. Three moves of doom? Maybe.
The Miz springs up, but Punk gets him in the GTS. And.. gets the three count! We’re going to see CM Punk lose to John Morrison once more. Outside the ring, Big Daddy V slams Boogeyman. Punk makes his way up the ramp and Big Daddy V screams in the ring.
