Transformers Review: Cybertron Crosswise

Transformers Cybertron Crosswise
Size: deluxe
MSRP: $9.99
OUT NOW(and GONE, if you don’t move your ass!)
A TF review written exclusively for Inside Pulse by Rikkomba

 

Is it a bullet? Is it an airplane? Is it a deluxe Alternator? Well, not so successful in flying, unless you choose to use it to strike your annoying little cousin’s head.

If you are reading this, you probably deserve it.

Here we are, it’s me, Alessandro Riccombeni, the Italian TF reviewer that nobody needed…but that somebody is reading, I guess.
For my first review on Inside Pulse I chose…Cybertron “Van Helsing” Crosswise, an Autobot currently living on Earth, planet which has been its personal battlefield for centuries…all spent to hunt down and imprison a legion of Decepticon renegades, which, in some storyteller’s crack-filled mind, should actually be those monsters that novels and short stories carried on to our days as classic monsters: vampires, specters, demons, etc…This is why this brother-in-law of RID Sideburn has gained the “Van Helsing” nickname within the fandom. Whatever.

Born to Race

Luckily, they put much more effort into its actual design process, and results are well visible.
Crosswise’s alternate mode is a car, a model that seems to be made for racing…compact, solid, powerful looking. Really, this car is made for racing…while smashing around opponents!

The first thing that passes through my mind looking at this car is: “ok, there’s no Hot Shot here!”.
Colors are very well chosen: Black, gold, some dark green/water blue, plus some silver details. The result is very elegant and enhanches the design, rather than wasting some details or shouting: “PLAYSKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL” with neon colors.
Its cyber key gimmick is very nice: put your key inside his back (whooops! Well, blame Hasbro…) and a pair or black, gold and silver rocket launchers will appear on top of the car. So, think it over before trying to pass over this car while racing…this ‘bot seems to be able to say the last word. Similar weapons come to mind, namely Red Alert’s and Override’s twin guns…in my opinion, this is the best use ever of this concept.
Car’s back spoiler is actually a missile launcher….and the projectile is a colored “flame” that imitates very well what a car like this could do when getting serious. I personally like this detail a lot, think about last War Machine figure from Marvel and its “launched” missiles.


Transforms from Car to Pile of Junk in 160 mph!

This toy’s transformation is not 100% unseen or totally new, nonetheless it shows some innovation: legs are kept extended and hidden inside the car, hood retracts to attach to the back of the car, doors end up hanging on the robot’s shoulders (see Red Alert), the remaining of the sides end hanging on the back (see RID Sideburn), Car’s top becomes a shield (see RID Sideburn), a back part, namely the Spoiler, as mentioned above, becomes a weapon (for a transgender example of this, see Override).
So, not so new…but there’s a big difference: it’s very well done. Shoulders and arms have ball joints, hips and knees too. Head? Yeah, you got it. Only hands and ankles don’t have articulation, but keep in mind that the next and final step would be…Unicron’s articulation!
So, congratulations to the designers for this great result. On the chest there’s an autobot symbol that stands out very nicely against all the black. Gold, silver/grey and green/blue details decorate this toy greatly.
Parts hanging on its back can be turned forward to become “hip-rifles” but I like them more while on the back. Its gimmick is accessible even here: put your big key up Crosswise’s ass and 2 big rocket launchers will show up. To complete its little arsenal, add its shield and its…flamethrower? Spoiler with plastic flame inside? I like to think it’s a flamethrower…with a very cool green/blue flame, too.

The Future WAS Now!

Now, read this extract:

“In the new series, OPTIMUS PRIME and the AUTOBOTS face the greatest danger in all eternity […] This next installment is “more than meets the eye” with a complex story of intrigue and surprises, and a reminder to fans what it means to be “ROBOTS IN DISGUISE”! ”

Hasbro, you own me.

Do you remember what the main slogan is for Transformers?

ROBOTS-IN-DISGUISE.

Is Energon Bulkhead a great transformable robot toy? Yep.
Has Energon Bulkhead a very cool robot mode? Yeah.
Can somebody, looking at its alternate mode, say “OOOOOOOH, IS THAT ACTUALLY A ROBOT?? I WOULD HAVE NEVER SAID THAT!!” ? Ok, you got it.

Repeat with me:

ROBOTS. IN. DISGUISE. Ok.

So, Hasbro’s idea was to work on this old idea…applying it effectively, I hoped at the time.
Well, Crosswise is a proof that concept is not dead. We can still get fun toys and great robots without giving up to much on what we would like for each aspect.

When seeing a new Transformer…
most fans bitch because a new TF doesn’t have enough articulation.
most fans bitch because of an unoriginal transformation.
most fans bitch because gimmicks kill the toy itself.
most fans bitch because they are nostalgic for realistic alt-modes.

I say: when seeing THIS Transformer, most fans should just go and buy a couple.
The second one is for your old ex-transfan friend, pure G1 nostalgic, that says all the time that Transformers end with G1.
Do a real act of love towards yourself, other than masturbation: buy yourself a Cybertron Crosswise.

On LordElohim’s Energon Cube Scale, I give this Crosswise 9 out of 10.
I didn’t give it a full score, I feel optimistic about this brand’s future 😉


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