The SmarK 24/7 Rant for World Championship Wrestling – November 30 1985
– So it’s the fallout from Starrcade, and we even get a match from it!
– Mid-Atlantic title: Sam Houston v. Khrusher Khruschev. Joined in progress with Houston holding a headscissors on the mat. Khrusher fights up and Houston climbs the ropes and takes him down with an armdrag. KK takes over with a faceplant (complete with a nice bump by Houston) and a clothesline for two. Press slam follows, as Houston’s ragdoll bumping makes him look like a character model from Half-Life 2 or something. Khrusher pounds away in the corner and gets the bearhug as I stop to wonder: What the FUCK was with the referee dressed like a giant banana? Who would listen to a ref in a yellow suit? KK goes up, but Houston crotches him and makes the comeback, slugging him to the apron and firing away in the corner. He gets the bulldog for the apparent pin, but the feet are on the ropes and Khrusher sneaks in with the Sickle to finish at 5:11 aired and give him the vacant title. Nice looking belt, too. Decent little match. *1/2
– National title: Terry Taylor v. Buddy Landel. Hey, it’s more from Starrcade! Landel gives him the cheapshot to start and Taylor slugs him into the corner in exchange, and they trade armdrags. They fight for the lockup on the ropes and Taylor gives him a SWEET right hand and we take a break. Back with Taylor slugging him in the corner, but Buddy catches him coming out of the corner with a lariat for two. Buddy slugs away and goes for a suplex, but Taylor cradles for two. Buddy goes to the rear chinlock, but Taylor powers out of it and gets a suplex to take over. He rams Buddy into the turnbuckles until Landel hits him with JJ’s shoe to get him away, but the ref goes down and Taylor sends Buddy into his manager. He sets up for the superplex to finish, but JJ hooks his leg on the way down and Buddy falls on top for the pin and the title at 6:05. These guys had ZERO chemistry, but the finish was great. ** Buddy’s glorious title reign ended two weeks after this when he was fired for drugs, and thus he “lost†the title to Big Dust in a fake title change in New Mexico.
– The Midnight Express v. Rocky King & The Italian Stallion. This should be good. Condrey wrestles King to the mat, but Rocky gets a headlock on Bobby and holds on tight. Rocky keeps coming with a slam, but Bobby takes him down with his own headlock, which King reverses to a headscissors. Over to Dennis again, so King brings the Stallion in. Cornette notes that Stallion is getting fat, because he was hit by a car the other day. The cops asked the driver why he hit the Stallion, and the driver said that he had to because he didn’t have enough gas to go around him. Ah, Jim, you rapscallion. Stallion tackles Bobby down and goes to the armbar, but gets caught in the MX corner and has to fight his way out. He slams Condrey, so Cornette stops his men and offers advice. It seems to work, because Condrey tosses him and Eaton stomps him in the head. Back in, Eaton chokes away on the ropes and gets two. Condrey wrestles him down for two and grabs a chinlock, but Stallion powers himself to the corner and tags Rocky back in. He slugs away on Condrey in the corner, but Eaton takes him down and goes up with the flying knee. Dennis adds a brainbuster for the pin at 7:57. Using A-level jobbers made this much more interesting than the usual squash. **
– Billy Jack Haynes joins us with nothing of note to say.
– Meanwhile, back at Starrcade, Buddy Landel and JJ Dillon give their victory speech after winning the National title. Buddy was probably all “Hey, let’s go do some coke to celebrate, what’s the worst that could happen?â€Â
– Manny Fernandez v. Tommy Lane. Here’s an interesting bit of trivia for you old school Stampede fans: Tommy Lane portrayed The Stomper’s “son†Jeff Gouldie in the famous angle with Bad News Allen that produced perhaps the greatest wrestling promo ever done. Lane controls Manny with armdrags and a hiptoss, but Manny gets the headlock and holds him on the mat. He drops a knee on the back and then another one on the head, and grinds in the headlock. Manny holds it for quite a while and Lane fights up, so Manny pounds him in the corner, and Lane responds with another hiptoss and goes for the arm. Fernandez counters with a headscissors and grinds that one in. Lane fights up again, so Manny hits him with a jumping knee and drops an elbow, then chops him down. Lane tries to hit him with a gut punch coming off the ropes, but Manny does a somersault over the punch, then pops up with the Flying Burrito to finish at 7:21. Good simple stuff with an inventive finish. **
– The Road Warriors v. Black Bart & Thunderfoot. Animal dominates Bart with a shoulderblock to start and then presses Thunderfoot to the floor to clear the ring. The heels regroup and Thunderfoot tries with Hawk, but walks into a big boot that gets two. Bart runs in and gets slammed, as does Thunderfoot, and the heels bail again. Really, giving up and taking the loss might be the best course of action at this point. Thunderfoot goes with a headlock, but gets killed with a backdrop suplex and Hawk applies a standing armbar. Over to Animal, who maintains the hold, and we take a break. Back with everyone battling as Hawk takes a pathetic clothesline from Bart, but comes back with one of his own. While the Warriors beat the crap out of the jobbers, Ivan Koloff debates Paul Ellering at ringside, and that ends with Paul getting blindsided by Nikita. And you just know a brawl is following as Animal finishes Thunderfoot off-camera at 5:37. * The real angle begins as the Russian triple-team Animal in the ring and beat him with the chain, while Hawk is unconscious on the floor. Hawk finally recovers and cleans house with a chair.
– Next week: Tully, Arn & Ole v. Magnum, Sam Houston & Billy Jack Haynes!
– Ron Garvin v. Jim Jeffers. Garvin takes him down for two and they fight for the shoulderblock, but neither goes down. Jeffers gets a hiptoss, but Garvin steamrolls him and Jeffers backs off. Garvin takes him down with a rollup for two and gives him some attitude in the ropes, but then offers a clean break instead. Jeffers wants a lockup, but Garvin slaps him around to make him lose his cool, and it works. Jeffers backs off again, but Garvin fires off a high kick and hiptosses him, and Jeffers backs off again. Garvin chops him in the corner and gets another hiptoss, then puts him in a facelock and takes him to the mat in a nice wrestling sequence. He stretches him on the mat for a bit, and Jeffers backs off again. He tries a headlock and then finds some success with a cheap shot, but Garvin gets a sunset flip for two. He adds chops in the corner, but Jeffers whips him into the turnbuckles and goes up. That goes badly for him, as Garvin punts him in the ribs and adds a double stomp. Hands of Stone finishes. This was pretty fun.
– The Road Warriors have words for the Russians, and they’re pretty pissed. They hate everyone, but they’re AMERICANS, so they hate those stinking commies especially. When you need a good angry promo, call the Road Warriors.
– Arn Anderson once again makes his case for being World TV champ, and gives us a montage of jobbers taking the gourdbuster, and then a clip of Dusty calmly jumping Arn during an interview and taking the TV title back.
– Meanwhile, backstage at Starrcade, Magnum is US champ again and Tully’s in a lot of pain.
– And now let us take you back to Dusty originally winning the TV title from Tully, to prepare us for an upcoming one-night tournament for the now-vacant belt. Kind of a weird thing to end the show on.
See you next time!
