I’m back from vacation and ready to jump into the deep end of the “Drama Pool”! We’re going strong on The Hills, The Real World: Sydney, and Newport Harbor: The Real Orange County. In addition, we have two new shows. One about a young skateboarding kid and another featuring “celebrities” rapping. Yep, you won’t want to miss this mix. Lets get to it…
I have to tell you this show is losing steam quickly. You don’t even need to watch the episodes anymore to know what is going on. But let me break it down for you anyways. This week there are 3 main subjects.
First, we have the Justin and Audrina situation. Audrina cried for the first time over a guy when he just left her helmet and didn’t say goodbye. She wants to be a couple with him, but Justin doesn’t like labels. He wants to take things slow. He gets pissed that everyone else wants to put labels on them and tells everyone to f*** themselves. In a way, Justin is right. You shouldn’t rush to do something because you think you are supposed to. See Heidi and Spencer for an example. But Audrina wants to be with him more than he wants to be with her it seems, so that’s an issue.
Next, we have Spencer and Brody fighting. Brody is hanging out with Lauren more now and Spencer doesn’t like it. So they quit talking basically. Spencer says that Brody isn’t loyal to him because he is hanging out with “the enemy”. Brody thinks Spencer should grow up. Yes, it’s odd that Brody is hanging out with Lauren again and having “friendly sleepovers”, but I think Lauren learned her lesson with Brody. I really believe they are “just friends”. Bottom line is Spencer is juvenile looks retarded with that peach fuzz beard of his.
Finally, Heidi talks with Jen Bunny about the Lauren/Brody situation. Jen eventually asks Heidi if she will ever be friends with Lauren again. Heidi doesn’t know. Heidi seems hurt that Brody would be friends with Lauren, but really blames Brody for spreading all of these rumors. It seems that she wants to be friends with Lauren and is hurt that they are not. So only time will tell.
Some side notes now that I found funny. Well I already mentioned Spencer’s retarded beard. I also mentioned Lauren and Brody saying they had a “friendly sleepover”, because Lauren was drunk. Another funny thing was the brief conversation between Lauren and Whitney. Whitney made a “rat face” when Lauren said her name was going to be Tiffany or Crystal. They make fun of those names. Also, Lauren loves the word “tiff” apparently. And that just about covers this week’s action.
Life of Ryan
Meet the youngest professional skateboarder ever. His name is Ryan Sheckler. He turned pro before he was a teenager, but now he is 17 and that means drama and girl trouble. In addition, his parents just got divorced and he is taking it pretty hard. He has to be the father to his two younger brothers now, eventhough his father is technically still around.
Ryan wants to be with a girl named Cambria. Too bad that she wants to get back with her ex-boyfriend, Mitch. Apparently she doesn’t like that Ryan is gone on skating trips all the time. Ryan’s date to the dance is Whitney. She’s just a friend, though. Neither one is half-bad for a teenage girl.
Ryan spills his heart out to Cambria, but she turns him down. Ryan’s mom tells him there will be other girls, though. So just concentrate on skating and hanging with friends.
We don’t have to wait long for that advice to somewhat pay off. The next episode sees Ryan hanging with his friend, Tony. He met the random girl of this week named Alex. She has a friend named Tina. They are both blonde and look alike, but this IS California so what else would you expect. They have fun, but Tina’s parents don’t like the fact that Ryan is a big celebrity and is gone so much. Ryan is not surprised.
Ryan learns that holidays and birthdays are harder with his parents now being divorced. His littlest brother has a birthday and they have a big party. JUst a bunch of drama at the party. Ryan’s mom doesn’t like looking at her ex-husband and his new girlfriend. Ryan doesn’t like to see his mom sad. So it’s just a big bunch of awkwardness. His mom says don’t blame their dad’s new girlfriend. She hasn’t moved on and she needs to. So she finally figured that out.
By the way, Ryan’s dad annoys me by saying “wicked hard” 5 times in 2 minutes. He is not even from Boston either. Other than that, it’s just a “bleh” show. Nothing special. Typical family drama for a young “celebrity”. I guess that works.
The Real World: Sydney
Kelly Anne likes Cohutta for some reason. She rubs his back, while he sleeps. Interesting stuff. Not as interesting as Kelly Anne having an ex-boyfriend named Sutton. She has been dating him on and off for three years. Apparently, Kelly Anne believes that “if it doesn’t mean anything, it doesn’t matter.” Meaning if you do something with another guy while you are dating someone and it didn’t mean anything, then it shouldn’t matter. Sure, keep thinking that. Now she is crying over this guy for no reason. Basically, they are not together but she sure does get emotional when he gets mad when she told him about rubbing Cohutta’s back. That whole conversation made my brain explode. It made no sense.
Shauvon just broke up with a long-time boyfriend, because he didn’t like her dreams. But back to Kelly Anne. Basically, they love each other but they probably shouldn’t be together. Shauvon is the love advice expert and attempts to help the other girls with their “guy issues”. As a result, though, she just starts thinking of her ex-boyfriend and begins to cry. Foreshadowing. Shauvon says that she is keeping in so much emotion that if she got into a fight with a guy in the house, she would snap. Wait for it…
Everyone loves Cohutta including Tricia. Now Kelly Anne is getting jealous. She might have feelings for Cohutta and doesn’t like Tricia throwing herself at him. Time to get drunk now to cause even more problems. Dunbar is happy that Kelly Anne has shifted her focus to Cohutta so that she will stay away from him.
Somehow while this is happening, Shauvon goes to sit on Issac’s knee and falls to the ground. Keep in mind, she’s drunk. Issac says it was a two feet fall onto the carpet, but Shauvon sells like Issac pushed her down or something. Shauvon is now pissed that Issac didn’t apologize for doing nothing. The yelling starts and Shauvon throws stuff. Then, she throws water into his face and they call his other names. Too much sexual tension.
Kelly Anne plays peacemaker, though, and shows Issac that he was wrong a little bit. Kelly Anne is drunk herself and lets it slip that she loves Cohutta, but thinks Cohutta likes Tricia. Issac promises Kelly that Cohutta doesn’t like Tricia. More drunk talk and crying from Issac and Shauvon, respectively. Kelly Anne is the worst drunk I have ever seen and that’s saying a lot. Kelly Anne says Cohutta is confusing. Kelly, you’re confusing me! Of course, this is The Real World. When everyone is sober, they all become happy friends again.
Newport Beach: The Real Orange County
My head continues to spin. Lets sort things out. Chrissy likes Clay, but Clay didn’t like the fact that she hung out with Chase. Apparently, Chrissy has no feelings for Chase and feels stupid for even hanging out with him because she knew Clay would get mad. Clay decides to hang out with Allie more now and say screw Chrissy. Did I mention that Allie used to date Chase and will always have feelings for him, but if Chrissy wants Chase then she should get Clay. Make sense?
Chrissy is all sad and stuff when she hears the news about Allie and Clay hanging out as told by her best friend, Sasha. She’s bummed. Allie asks Clay about him and Chrissy. Clay says nothing happened between them. So basically Allie and Clay say they are keeping their options open, which means “lets hook up”.
Allie relays the details of her date with Clay to her friend Samantha on Allie’s dad’s boat. Meanwhile, Sasha calls Grant and wants him to bring Clay to Chrissy’s house so they can have a BBQ. Clay doesn’t know about that, but they go anyways. Clay and Chrissy have time to chat, imagine that. Here is the conversation: “how was the date..whatever..cool..you like Chase..yeah right..I don’t know..your dad sucks..I’m over it..hugs..yay!” They are not big talkers. But basically they cleared the air and can hang out again without any awkwardness.
Time for some dates now. Allie and Chase have lunch. Chase is not going out with Taylor right now. I forget to mention that. So that’s probably why he went after Chrissy, since he knew Taylor went on a date with Grant. But actually everyone is single, but yet wants to be with everyone. Hmmm… Clay and Chrissy got out to dinner. It’s all good. They kiss at the end of the night. Awwwww. I always have a headache after this show. But I can’t get enough of that “surfer talk”. Duuuuuuuude.
Celebrity Rap Superstar
So this show is hosted by Kevin Hart. He’s a comedian. We have 8 “celebrities” and 8 rappers. The rappers will try and teach the celebrities to rap. There are three judges. Each week the one that does the worst gets voted off. Simple enough. The first judge is DMC of Run DMC. So that would not be Reverend Run. The second judge is Da Brat. The last judge is Big Boy from a popular Los Angeles radio station or something.
The first celebrity is Perez Hilton, his is the gay Hollywood blogger. He creates rumors basically. His rapping teacher is Tone Loc (“Wild Thang”). He sung “Right Thurr” by Chingy the first week. He was in the “top three” so this week he sang “Jesus Walks” by Kanye West.
The next celebrity is Jamal Anderson, formerly of the Atlanta Falcons. His teacher is Redman. He sung “Big Things Poppin” by T.I. Surprise! Jamal is the first one eliminated. He actually did pretty decent. So who knows why the fans didn’t vote for him. You won’t believe who made it instead of him. Better luck next time, Jamal.
The third one is Kendra Wilkinson. She is one of Hugh Heffner’s girlfriends. Her rap mentor is Too Short. She sung “Candy” by some female rapper. Bad, but not bad enough to get eliminated. In the second round, she sings “Me, Myself, and I” by De La Soul.
Jason Wahler of Laguna Beach and Bubba Sparxxx team up. He sung “Ridin’ Dirty” by Chamillionaire. He sucked up the place and was completely annoying, but he wasn’t the worst of the first week according to the votes. His second round song was “Going Back to Cali” by LL Cool J.
MC Lyte tries to teach Shar Jackson. She is K-Fed’s first baby mama. She sung an Eve song called “Tambourine” the first week. She was one of the “top three”, so she is back for the second week to sing “My Name Is” by Eminem.
Warren G. mentors Countess Vaughn. She’s an actress or something. She sung “Lip Gloss” by Lil Mama the first week. That’s good enough for the second round, where she sang “This is Why I’m Hot” by Mims.
Heavy Metaler Sebastian Bach of Skid Row gets Korupt to teach him to rap. He sung “Mama Said Knock You Out” by LL Cool J the first week. He was saved by the judges the first week as one of the “top three. So he is back for the second week, where he sang “California Love” by Tu-Pac.
The last celebrity is Efren Ramirez. He was Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite. His teacher is Bizarre of D12. He sung “In Da Club” by 50 Cent. He completely forgets the words and sucks so bad. Yet he is still alive?! That’s shocking, but I guess they love Pedro. The second week he sang “Insane in the Membrane” by Cypress Hill. Much better, but still sucky.
This show is hilarious, because it’s awful. But it doesn’t take itself seriously, so that makes it entertaining enough to watch the chaos.
And that ends the 49th volume of the “MTV Mix”! If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, or feedback of any kind..send them my way!!
I’ll see you next time when we mix things up a bit!
Sir Linksalot: Reality Television
Tags: Life of Ryan, MTV, Newport Harbor, The Hills, The Real World