Pardon The Pulse

Well, now we’re done with that stuff. No more double sized articles going piece by piece through every division in football. No more pointers for fantasy football. Back to a normal article. Well, as normal as you get reading this. We’ve been off on other things the last few weeks, so we’ve got some house cleaning to do. Did you know Michael Vick plead guilty to something that closely resembles operating a dog fighting ring? Neither did my pet rock, and unless you were hiding under Sparky, I’m surprised. We’re also gonna hit up the “UPSET TO END ALL UPSETS!”, and we’ll even talk about Appalachian State beating Michigan, Toyota landing a big fish, and the MLB Divisional races wind down. So ignore the guy outside your office doing yoga and please…

1.) Mike Vick’s Fate – Prison/Career/Reputation

Paulie: I grow weary of discussing Mr. Vick. He will serve about a year in Club Fed “prison”. When he gets out, his suspension will be lifted. He may get a couple of tryouts, but no one is going to want to sign him as a QB. He may get on as a flanker or a HB, if his ego will allow. His reputation doesn’t really matter as I can’t really think of any time I heard anyone speak highly of him as a person before all this started. So… yeah. NEXT!

Charles Joseph: I don’t think his suspension will be lifted right after he gets out Paulie. Tank Johnson was suspended after he served his jail time, so I’ll expect Vick to serve his year to eighteen months in prison, then be suspended a year from the NFL and then he’ll be allowed back. And I don’t think his prison with be a “Club Fed” prison, I don’t think he’ll be going to a federal pound me in the ass prison, but it’s going to be a real prison. Now, admittedly, this is a very large fluck up by Vick, but unless you’re counting his water bottle incident, it’s really his first fluck up. I think once he’s out of prison and served his suspension his reputation should be back to where it was before, and people should let him move on from this. Some team will take a chance on him as their QB, the league is too competitive for someone not to. This will end up as just a 2 year blip on his career.

Danny: He’s going to prison for his twelve to eighteen months starting in December. Say he gets only twelve and is out by Christmas of 2008. That season is already done for. I am guessing his suspension then begins for the 2009 season and lasts one whole year at the very least. He can come back then in the 2010 season and won’t be a quarterback wherever he ends up. You see what happened to Marcus Vick and there was a reason for that. Neither of them are QBs and just don’t belong behind the center. Vick is extremely talented and has a great arm, but he has no accuracy. How he was planning on completing 65% of his passes like Petrino wanted this year is beyond me.

I’m just glad that this is not the topic of conversation anymore and isn’t the opener to every NFL show I turn on. Sure it will come up again as we get closer to his sentencing; especially considering he is getting his sentence on December 10 which is the same day the Falcons play the Saints on MNF.

I think he will be picked up by a team as possibly a WR or maybe even a DB, but not to be the leader of the offense again anywhere. If he even wants to play by the time he can come back. And will he get himself in shape to play that is? A lot of questions to be answered, but they won’t be for a few years at the earliest. Oh and one more thing; if his suspension is for more then one season? Consider his career officially done.

2.) Michigan’s Loss To Appalachian State

Danny: I’m going to take this in two parts. There is the “Embarrassment” and the “Accomplishment.” First of all is the “accomplishment” for Appalachian State. Here they are a team from Division I-AA (f*ck that FCS shit) being scheduled by a BCS power for their “easy” win. They are the two-time defending champs of DI-AA and came in ready for this game. The Mountaineers came in not only with a belief that they could win, but they brought the talent to do it with and they did. In front of the entire world (except ESPN who barely switched over to the game and didn’t even for the last second field goal attempts by both teams), they came into the Big House and took out a possible National Champion. Impressive young App. State. Extremely impressive.

And now onto the “embarrassment.” Michigan was the school I was two weeks away from attending back in 1997 before I switched my enrollment to LSU so I’ve always followed them and had a soft spot for them. But they were embarrassed and rightfully should be. Not because they lost to Appalachian State, but because they weren’t prepared for them. You know damn well they went into Saturday’s game in Ann Arbor thinking this would be a blowout. Yet here they were being lackadaisical and unprepared and what happened? They got their asses handed to them by the better team. I don’t know if this is the biggest upset in college football history, but it certainly is one of the most deserved.

Paulie: I would have loved to have been able to see this game. No one would have thought this. Even the biggest App State fan would have had to admit that they would be starting the season with a loss. I mean, hell, Mario Manningham is bigger than most of the Mountaineer linemen. I just hope the boys at Appalachian can stay focused after this and don’t rest on their laurels. It’s really a shame that they can’t get votes in the BCS poll.

Wow, and I got through all that without mentioning this as a pointer to how over rated the got damned Big Ten is…


Charles Joseph: Ok, that was a gawd awful loss for Michigan. They should have hung 90 on App St.. They forced a bunch of turnovers which bodes well for the rest of the season, the problem wasn’t really the defense, and it was just a lack of effort and preparation. Here is what I think could be interest, we know Michigan dropped out of the top 25 now, but what if they run the table from here out. Finish 11-1, and considered App. St. also runs the table from here out and finishes 12-0. How fun would it be to see them challenge who ever win the BCS championship. It’d be like watching Boise State vs. Oklahoma last year. I know it’ll never happen, but it’d be fun.

3.) Joe Gibbs Racing To Toyota

Charles Joseph: This is a HUGE deal in NASCAR land. Toyota has struggled a bunch this year, with only a handful of top 10 finishes and only one team in the top 35 of points, which is the cutoff of having to qualify for a race on time or not. And now, out of the blue, they land one of the dominate teams in NASCAR, with Tony Stewart, 2nd in points and on fire recently, Denny Hamlin, 3rd in points and having a great year, and new addition to the team Kyle Busch, 8th in points. With 3 talented drivers like that, it will give Toyota a good feel for how good their cars actually are, cause if a car is crap, Stewart will say so. But my mind jumps to the new addition next year of Kyle Busch, was he told during negotiations that JGR was thinking about a move to Toyota? Because the lack of success that Toyota has had this year would definitely make me think twice about going to a Toyota team. But whether he knew it or not, that’s his bed to sleep in. And if Stewart and Busch can’t win or at least be competitive in a Toyota, then no one can, they both have won in any car they get put in, from dirt tracks on up.

Paulie: Toyotas are good cars. I’ve got a Matrix. It’s a 2004 and already has 110,000 miles on it. Well built. No problems with it at all. I think Joe Gibbs and his team will be very happy with their purchases of new Toyota vehicles. Oh, wait… they’re racing them? Are they getting Supras? Dude I work with has been wanting to find a Supra, says they’re pretty darned fast. Should whip the crap out of the Tauruses and Impalas the other guys are driving around.

4.) USA Basketball Wins FIBA Gold – Olympic Gold Next?

Paulie: In a word? No. It’s one thing to beat a bunch of teams from the Caribbean that didn’t even play most of their NBA guys. It’s another thing to go into the Olympics, against the Europeans, who will bring all of their A players. I say this team is looking at a bronze in the Olympic “only we can have any form of five circles touching each other” Games.

Charles Joseph: This wasn’t just beating up on teams that didn’t have their NBA players, this was destroying teams that didn’t have their NBA players. A few years ago, we still would have at least a few close games in this tournament, and the fact that we blew everyone else away, I think says something. We’re not going into the Olympics next year as the favorite, but I think with the right bracket we should be able to win gold. We’ve got a good mix of scorers, shooters, rebounders, and distributers.

5.) MLB’s Race To the Series

Charles Joseph: The most competitive race so far is the NL west. San Diego, Arizona, LA, and Colorado all have a chance to win the division still. San Diego and LA have the best pitching in the Division, Colorado has the best offense, and Arizona just manages to keep winning. Despite all the stats against them. San Diego should get Chris Young back healthy soon and I think that’ll put them over the top of the division.

The Cubs, Brewers and Cards are slugging it out in the Central. St. Louis has came out of no where to get back into the race. The Brewers have fallen on hard times, and the Cubs are on a roll. Milwaukee just got sheets back which will give them a boost, and St. Louis might get Carpenter back soon which would do tons to offset the return of Mark Mulder. The Cubs just got Soriano back, and sitting on top of the Division, I don’t see anyone knocking them off.

Arizona has a 3 game lead in the Wild Card, with Philly and all the teams mentioned before chasing after them. Philly will be scary in the Wild Card when Hamels comes back, but the D-Backs just have that never say die attitude that COULD carry them to another World Series.

The AL’s Divisional races are pretty lopsided at the moment. With Cleveland, LA, and Boston all holding comfortable leads. I don’t see any reason any of those teams shouldn’t take their respective divisions.

AL Wild card is a little less cluttered than the NL’s version, New York holds a one game lead over Seattle, whom there are in a 3 game series with that could well decide the Wild Card. Detroit is sitting back a few games, and getting their bullpen healthy in the last two weeks, and getting Rogers back soon, they could make a run to the Wild Card. Seattle has been a good story this year, but I don’t think they have what it takes to keep up with the big boys. And the news of Clemens getting his elbow looked at makes me think the Tigers have the starting pitching to catch the bombers.

Paulie: The Cubs still have almost a whole month to turn into the September Cubs and blow it to the Cards. As long as the Mets hold off the Braves I’ll be a happy boy. And San Francisco still sucks. So… yeah… NEXT!

Danny’s Note: You’ll have to forgive me for this being so late everyone and so lackluster to boot. The fellas did their parts but I just couldn’t get to doing mine or even having my mind work enough to come up with witty banter. This is a crappy looking version of PTP and I’m sorry. Ok, crappy from what I was supposed to do on it, but Paulie and Chucklebutt did their parts flawlessly as always. I have a lot of free time next week so things will get back to normal.

Yell at us here in the forums.

Ok, that wasn’t so bad, was it? No, good readers. You are now free to watch that guy who’s still doing yoga outside your office. You should ask him out for lunch. Do it. I bet he’s not creepy at all. Hope you all had a good labor day, and sent you’re children off to school, and kids, study is school, cherish your youth, and shoot spitballs at the teacher. And what ever you do, do not…do not…DO NOT listen when they tell you not to play tag or tackle football.


Join our newsletter

never miss the latest news, reviews, live event coverage, audio podcasts, exclusive interviews and commentary for Movies, TV, Music, Sports, Comics, Video Games!