BLATT vs. ECW Live for September 11th, 2007

I got some feedback onlasts week’s show recap from Brad Curran:

First off:
“Mosrrison’s got his fuzzy jacket back in full force tonight. I think that if the Warrior were to come into ECW right now, he’d look like Morrison but with face paint. I mean, it already seems like Warrior’s writing his promos.”

I’m pretty sure that you’ve probably recieved mail about this, but feel like saying it anyway; Morrison’s been quoting Jim Morrison in his promos since he changed his name. I know this because I used to be a big Doors fan. He even quoted a Morrison quoting the poet William Blake, which is something the teacher I worked with during my student teaching used to teach his work. Not to say that, you know, he was any good at it or anything; his promos sucked (I don’t remember him being this bad on the mic on Raw, but then again, I’m not sure he ever got a chance to say anything, since Melina was the mouthpiece in that duo), the Morrison quotes were forced, and he was just bland. He didn’t do anything to change his personality that made him stand out from the roughly 600,000 cocky young heels that are in the WWE and TNA right now, much less Jim Morrison’s charisma. As disconcerting as it is that whoever had “Murder/Suicide and ensuing drug scandal” in the pool for what would it take for Punk to win the ECW Title just won some cash, I’m glad the belt’s finally on the right guy, and just hope that he gets to either hold it for awhile or at least have a good, long feud with Burke or Cor Von. Although, really, if they got more time on the PPVs, this feud would have been more satisfying (well, that and Punk not getting the belt because Morrison got caught with his hand in the steroid jar). As it was, it was good that they got time to put on hot matches in ECW recently.

Secondly, it’s amazing that ECW is actually becoming a solid wrestling show. They’ve been able to avoid Vince’s desperate soap operatics for the most part, built up some decent feuds, and other than the ex-champ that I don’t think anyone’s going to miss, they’ve avoided the drug scandals. I’m mostly amazed that they’re more entertaining than whatever the f*ck TNA is, exactly, at this point. I never would have thought I’d like a show where the Miz was a top heel more than the one with Kurt Angle, Christian Cage, Samoa Joe, and AJ Styles and yet, here we are. If they could add a few new guys to the roster (I hear Alex Shelly’s available!), they could really have something here. It would also help if they implored Viscera to put on a shirt again, too, but one thing at a time, I guess.

I know he’s quoting Mortison, but he’d butchering it, specifically because he’s referring to wrestling in his context and it is painfully forced. If you listen to Austin or The Rock or Foley talk about why promos have gone downhill, it’s all about the wrestling character being an extension of their personalities, not reading from scripts.

Morrison is terrible about reading from memory. Granted they aren’t exactly giving him easy lines, but he’s still butchering them. And when he butchers them, it sounds like the delivery that Warrior had. And worse, when you’re not smooth in the delivery, it sounds like a fourth grader wrote your lines.

It doesn’t matter much, cause his roided abs are suspended and he finally dropped that damn title. F that guy.

ECW of SciFi – September 11th, 2007

After a recap of last weeks show, we go to the new music for the show.

Right away, Armando intros C.M. Punk! W00t!

Punk’s happy and is sporting a new shirt to boot. He’s got the mic to address the audience, who gives the appropriate champion. Armando asks if he can call him “CM”, Punk returns the favor with “Can I call you Estrada?”

CM Punk Pimps his brand new t-shirt, but that’s not enough. He’s gonna sign it too. How awkward. Punk pushes Armando to try on his new shirt. Armando doesn’t really want to take off his suit and change his shirt. Punk smells a rat who’s trying to suck up to the champ. Punk leads the crowd in cheering for Armando to take his shirt off and put on the CM Punk shirt. Are you sure Punk? This might be like Ric Flair taking off his shirt in the early 00’s. Armando’s had enough and intros Punk’s first opponent, Elijah Burke.

Burke reminds us that he believed in Punk. He had that man crush from day one. Wow, they actually use the back story between Burke and Punk. Usually that stuff’s swept under the rug. Who needs continuity? This is WRESTLING, right?

burke says he’s more athletic, physically gifted and charismatic. Burke is the one with the crystal ball now that Ariel is off making internet porno. He says he can see himself winning the title from Punk. Punk invades Burke’s “private space” and Burke says that he can’t do that unless he’s got a fruity frozen drink. Forget that second part, I might ahve made it up. Punk won’t back off and he shoves Punk a few times before Punk hits him with a standing enziguiri. Burke nurses his wound and Armando escorts him to the back.

It’s time for the Miz. And I forgot my medication. I might be a bit punchy tonight, I’ve been reading an employee handbook all night.

The Miz over Tommy Dreamer by Reality Check
Joey and Tazz think the Miz is gonna get hurt. Somehow I don’t think the Yonkers Brawler is going to do that much damage. Especially now that he’s the head trainer at OVW.

Dreamer controls the pace, keeping it fast and not leaving much space. Dreamer clotheslines the Miz out and while on the way back in, the Miz makes use of an extra second and some space. The Miz takes control over Dreamer, until he leaves some time and space. The Miz attempted something off the top, but Dreamer turned it into a superplex. Dreamer throws some haymakers, hits the Miz with a bulldog ad Extreme Expose doesn’t look hapy. Dreamer slingshots the Miz into the corner and hangs him in the Tree of Woe. Dreamer hits a hanging drop kick, followed with a inverted DDT. The Miz puts his foot on the rope to break up a count at two (TWO!), the Miz attempts a roll up, but Scott Armstrong catches him holding the ropes. Tommy attempts a roll up of his own for his own two. TWO! The Miz hits the running knee and neckbraker (The Reality Check) and gets the three count. Sorry Tommy, time to go back to Ohio.

After a video package for Big Daddy V, we head to commercials.

Dear lord. The stupid Diva Search is back. WHY?

Kelly’s backstage and Balls comes from a hallway and gives her a little stuffed bear with a Balls Mahoney t-shirt on. Kelly is looking a bit… tanned. We’re talking Big Orange Goblin tan. And perhaps had some work done to those boobs of hers too.

Matt Striker over Nunzio
Nunzio still has a job? That’s good I guess. Before I could inish typing that first sentence, the match ended. How? Who cares? Afterwards Sir Lottaboobie makes Nunzio earn his paycheck the hard way.

Post match, the Boogeyman’s music hits and the Boogeyman recites a little poem that’s Heidenreich worthy, the he eats some worms. Yick.

Up next, we go way back to… yesterday as they recap who the only midget is on the roster who is also McMahon’s kid. Imean, whoever the illegitimate child is.

After a painful recap of the illegitimate child debacle from last night, we’re going to see a wrestling match.

There’s a nerdy kid with a “I HEART BALLS” sign. I thin he needs to double check his sign.

Mike Knox over Balls Mahoney by Big ol’ Kick
What the hell? Mike Knox still has a job? He looks liek a preshaver Snitsky a little bit.

Lock up and Balls gets an arm bar, but Knox goes for a punch again. Balls ducks a clothesline and throws some punches. Knox hits a knee on an attempted back body drop and stays on Balls with some punches. He stretches Balls neck and Balls powers out and hits the “Balls” punches, but is interrupted by the Miz. Knox hits the big kick and gets the three count. Boom. Over. Balls Mahoney can’t even beat someone that I forgot was on the roster.

Balls Mahoney needs to do what the Sandman, Booker T and Ric Flair have done over the past few weeks. I’m sure he can be treated with more respect than this somewhere else.

After an Unforgiven match rundown, we get a recap of last week when Punk beat that roided guy for the ECW title.

CM Punk & Stevie Richards over Elijah Burke & Kevin Thorn by Go to Sleep
Burke and Punk start and do the back and forth in the collar and elbow for a while thing. They break clean on the ropes and shove each other, till Punk gives Burke a stiff kick to the thigh.

Burke tags in Thorn and Punk tags in Stevie. Stevie get a few kicks in and tags back in Punk, and he and Stevie, who gets dominated by Thorn, who gest Stevie in a torture rack and drops him with a backbreaker. Burke is tagged in and can’t get a three. TWO!

Burke hits an uppercut and drops Stevie in the corner so he can hit the hanging elbow, but instead he drags Stevie to the apron and goes after the neck. Burke continues the neck punishment and attempts the Experience, but Richards gets out of the way. Punk gets the hot tag and clears house. A standing enziguiri for a two. TWO! Punk hits a springboard clothesine on thorn and a drop kick to Burke. Thorn goes for the crucifix, but Punk reverses it into the GTS.

Punk celebrates. Show ends.

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