The Most Ridiculous Item of the Week – 9.14.07

Perhaps wanting to get his heat back after getting spanked by Kanye West this past week in the duo’s record-selling feud, rapper 50 Cent has decided to show the world that he’s still number one when it comes to spending ridiculously exorbitant amounts of money on things that should otherwise cost very little. He’s booked for two separate events in London next Wednesday—the Vodafone Live Music Awards and the MOBO (Music of Black Origin) Awards—and while the six miles between the two locations would cost normal peons like you and me nothing more than the gas money and any applicable tolls, 50’s dropping $2 million on transport.

After taking the stage at the Vodafone Live Music Awards at Brompton Hall in Earls Court, he’ll somehow be utilizing three helicopters, several SUVs and a group of men from former Special Forces units in order to get him to the O2 Arena in North Greenwich (a mere six miles away) for an appearance at the MOBO Awards. Asked by British newspaper The Mirror what all of the pomp and circumstance is for, representatives for 50 Cent told reporters that “[h]e is aware that it’s extravagant but he wants to get there in good time and chill out before his performance. … He’ll do whatever it takes to get to the MOBOs in ample time.”

I declare bullshit (Widro has approved ass and shit!). Methinks that 50’s using this as a bit of a red herring to try and divert attention away from the fact that he looks like an enormous choad right now after Kanye sold twice as many albums as he did over the past week. All of that talk about how “Kanye’s not in the same league as me” and “Kanye is small potatoes” and “I look like an Irish Wolfhound” is going to catch up with him, so this is really his only way right now of showing that he’s still worthy of mention. And why exactly would you need ex-Special Forces? In case your ego gets so inflated that it actually floats away and requires reconnaissance? This is something that one would expect from The Ad Hoc Award-Demanding Waste of Skin, but you, 50 Cent… this eradicates any sort of street cred or toughness that you had leftover there from five years ago. You are now officially a bitch, and should from this point on be recognized as such.

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