Pardon The Pulse

Yo yo, I wish it was cold so I could make a mean cup of cocoa.

It has been a slow as hell week lately with things just rolling along at their own pace. The NFL is only in its third week while college football is only in the fourth. The baseball chase is coming to a close soon, but still has a week or two to go. Hockey is about to start, but we’ll get to that next week. Hoo boy! Just is dead lately in the world of sports, so we only have four topics for you this week.

I will admit that the bizarro world going on in the NFL and college football is just freakish, but still.

And no-one’s died so I don’t have that as a topic to piss off CJ, so just get ready to…

1.) Who’s Number One: USC? LSU? Oklahoma? Florida?

Paulie: All four of these teams are playing lights out football right now. If I had to rank them I’d probably go

1. LSU
2. Oklahoma
3. USC
4. Florida

LSU is just playing some really unbelievable football right now, though it’s looking like they can add that trip to Tuscaloosa as a pretty tough obstacle too.

Charles Joseph: LSU is beating the snot out of everyone they’ve played. And of the 4 I’d say they’ve had the hardest schedule so far, so they get number 1. Oklahoma has looked the most impressive so far, but other than a beatdown of Miami, they haven’t really played anyone yet so they get number 3. USC edges out Oklahoma for 2 because of the impressive win over a pretty dog gone good Nebraska team. Florida slumps to number 4 because Tennessee isn’t really that good this year.

Danny: Anyone of these teams could be put into the number one spot, but it’s kind of hard to say due to the preseason rankings which I think are completely useless. But thus far, we are three weeks into the season and I think that bye weeks should definitely be taken into account. After week two when USC had beaten only Idaho and LSU had shut out Mississippi State and then dropped VaTech, the Tigers should have jumped up to number one. If USC was to regain the top spot, then keep winning and when LSU has its bye week, the Trojans could move back up. Simple enough.

Oklahoma though is looking more impressive then USC as well. And hell, even West Virginia could be thrown in to the top four, but Florida is playing great ball. Still, I think Paulie and CJ have it exactly right and this is NOT from my bias for LSU, but how it should be.

4.) Florida
3.) USC
2.) Oklahoma
1.) LSU

2.) The Juice Is Not Loose

Danny: And here I thought he couldn’t get dumber after the whole “If I Did It” book incident. Juice man…what the hell? As of this writing, he hasn’t yet entered a plea and has a $125,000 bail. Three other dudes are charged with him and he’s not only got robbery on the rap now but also kidnapping, deadly weapon charges, and a host of others. My God man, do you need the spotlight that badly? And is the only way you can do it to get busted by the cops? I mean you’ve already gotten away with one crime and now you’re risking possible life in prison for this shit. See ya Juice, and good riddance.

Paulie: Another case of someone being incredibly stupid. So, some dudes have some stuff of yours that were obtained through nefarious means. . You would like it back. A normal, rational person would go speak with the local authorities. But not if your name is Orenthal James Simpson. No, you organize your own sting operation and bust in guns blazing. “Oh, but OJ’s a marked man, how could he be expected to trust the police?”, one might say. I say, what’s better? Going to the police and taking your chances on quietly getting your stuff back? Or doing something incredibly stupid that, KNOWING you’re a marked man, will get every little charge they can get slapped on you. I mean, one of the charges is loitering. They’re charging him with LOITERING. Along with 10 felony counts of armed robbery, kidnapping, and conspiracy to commit kidnapping. But, geez, man. Did starring in a movie with Anna Nicole Smith REALLY give you as much brain power as her? I’ve heard people saying he was set up since there’s so much audio of what was going on. To me, if I was doing some kind of backroom deal being set up by a middle man broker, I’d fully expect anything and everything that happened in that room to be recorded cause SOMEBODY is going to want to be covering their asses.

Charles Joseph: You guys are jumping on him pretty quickly. The one point that sticks out in my mind is the one defendant, who was hospitalized shortly after the incident with a heart attack, does NOT want to press charges. If one of the defendants doesn’t want to press charges, that leads me to think the defendants were doing something wrong and OJ may very well have been partially in the right going after his stuff. The way he went about getting his stuff back was absolutely idiotic, but after busting heads for years in the NFL, his head probably doesn’t work like the rest of ours. OJ is an idiot for doing it the way he did it, but I’m not jumping on him and giving him a death sentence until we get a better understanding of what happened.

3.) Tiger’s Dominance At FedEx Cup

Paulie: It’s Tiger. He’s supposed to dominate. I just wanna know what he would have done without that $10 million in the retirement fund he got. I mean, he only made, what? Ten times that in his career? And pulled in $10 million in REAL money already this year. Not too bad for like 13 weekends worth of work.

Charles Joseph: And I think its safe to say that Tiger’s kid can safely go to private schools and any college at all now. For Tiger 10 million is something you keep next to the toilet to clear away leftovers. But the FedEx Cup itself was pretty boring. There was really no doubt ever that Tiger would win. He friggin skipped week 1, and still had the championship locked up by simply making the cut the last week. Part of that was due to Phil sitting out, but none of the top players are going to commit to playing 4 straight weeks, so you have to assume you’re going to be without some of them from week to week. And nobody on the planet can beat Tiger Woods on a best 3 out of 4 tourneys. Until Tiger retires, he’s got a lot more of these to win, and the anti-climacticness of the tourneys will kill what was supposed to be a savior for the sport.

Danny: Yes he’s supposed to dominate but that was just ridiculous. 23 under 257??? That’s just frickin sick even for Tiger. And I mean, it was less then a year ago that every sports site known to man was labeling Tiger as a washed up guy who could never rebound from the lull he was going through. Sure as hell proved them wrong with the best score of his career.

But what bothers me is that right after the tournament, Tiger and Ernie Els bitched about having to play four straight weeks of golf. It’s golf for the love of God and you can get paid insane amounts for going home to a fancy ass hotel room in the evening with a sore shoulder.

4.) The Chase For The Cup

Charles Joseph: The 10 race chase started last week with Clint Bowyer winning the first race, and his first career victory. Because of the points reset going into the chase based on wins during the season, Bowyer started the race in 12th position in the chase points, but with his win he jumped all the way up to 4th, just 15 points behind Co-Leaders Jimmie Johnson and Jeff Gordon. Gordon, who finished second, had led the points almost all season, but had been bumped down to second position because of the points reset, but erased the gap in just one race. Tony Stewart finished 3rd which was good enough to keep him in 3rd position of the standings as well. Kurt Busch had the worst day of any of the chase drivers; he suffered an engine problem and finished 25th.

But the story of the day was Bowyer, who started on the poll and led almost the entire race, leading 222 of 300 laps. This was a great way for Bowyer to start the chase, not only did he get the win, but also got 5 points for leading a lap and a 5 for leading the most laps. He’s been pretty steady all year if not spectacular, and should continue to be a player for the next 9 races. We’re just one race in and we’ve already had surprises and disappointments, the next 9 races should be even better.

Danny: I’ll admit that Bowyer drove a good race and chose no better time to get his first career victory then now, but something still bothers me. I know that the points throughout the season set the standings to some extent, but I don’t like that things are totally reset. I just don’t like how things can go from clear first place guys with points out of this world to making everything “virtually” even. And it doesn’t help any that the points system is almost as complicated as all the little side rules of the damn BCS. None the less, there are nine races to go and I think things are going to change considerably before this is all said and done.

Paulie: Are we still calling wasting our valuable natural fuel resources on driving around in circles for 500 miles a sport? Imagine how much cheaper gas would be if we didn’t have all of this wasted fuel every weekend. Why, we might could save all of 5 cents a gallon!

Hehehe… wow, I almost have my hippie impersonation down pat, don’t I? Anyways. I still don’t watch NASCAR. What’s the point of the other 20 guys in the race? What do they have to race for now? Or does it now become kind of like bike racing where the team mates that aren’t in the chase have the job of causing as many problems as they can for the other guys? That’s not very sportsmanlike.

Who’s Clint Bowser?

Charles Joseph: The other 24 drivers in the race and going for 2 things. Wins and top 35 in drivers’ points. Wins are obvious, but the top 35 is like this, if you finish the season in the top 35, then you are locked into the first 5 races of the next season. Which includes the Daytona 500. And knowing you don’t have to qualify to get into the first 5 races means you can focus on race setup in the week leading up to the race, and hopefully get better finishes, which pays better. If you’re out of the top 35, then you go into next season knowing you have to qualify on time for the first 5 races, which doesn’t assure you of getting a spot, which doesn’t assure you’ll be getting a check that week.

PEE-YOMPS (pimps)

Head to The DVD Lounge where there are a lot of good people watching a lot of crap so you don’t have to. And for a person who has over 1300 DVDs and watches every movie imaginable, Travis really finds some things that even I have never heard of.

Popcorn Junkies is a place you really need to go check out as well because there are great people like Caroline, John Price, Michaelangelo, Kubryk, and more bringing you news and movie reviews at all hours of the night and day.

Mark Allen remembers what it’s like to enjoy wrestling in Marking Out.

Primetime Pulse has a ton of stuff out now and coming up on the new Fall Schedule so be sure to stay tuned with updates on everything from what is working and what’s suffering early cancellation.

That is it everyone, we is outta here. But as always, go here in the forums and scream at us. I know there will be a good number of you yelling at us next week though.

And that is all because we will be bringing you the Hockey PTP Extraordinaire. What that virtually means is that Paulie and myself will be struggling since that isn’t the sport we know most about while CJ will be talking your fool heads off.

Speaking of those two guys…check out other areas of Tailgate Crashers as CJ is bringing you tons of news and Paulie is doing a weekly NFL Power Rankings column. Good stuff from both of them as they have grown up to do their own things. I’m so proud of them.

Have a great weekend full of tons of football folks…I know I will as my LSU Tigers take on Ol’ Ball Coach. Which makes me think I may end up shooting myself before the game is over because I know they’re going to show that damn Under Armour commercial 50 million times with Spurrier in it. Yeaaaahhh…clickclack!

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