The Most Ridiculous Item of the Week – 9.21.07

Insider

In another instance that confirms that The Ad Hoc Award-Demanding Waste of Skin thinks way too highly of himself—and will go to obscene lengths to make sure that nobody ever forgets it—he recently challenged other celebrity purveyors of women’s perfume to a fragrance “smell-off”.

According to the rapper/producer/shameless self-promoter, who spoke with reporters this past week while plugging his upcoming Unforgivable Woman fragrance, he would officially issue the challenge during a guest appearance on an upcoming episode of Rachael Ray. “I am going to challenge my female counterparts,” he puffed, after demanding that the reporter stoop down and massage his feet, “from J.Lo, Mariah, Sarah Jessica Parker to Gwen Stefani that my fragrance is better than theirs. I am a man, and I know how a woman should smell.”

Of course… that’s perfect logic. You’re a man, so obviously you’d have a better idea of how a woman should smell than a woman herself. How could the rest of us have been so negligent to overlook that? It’s kind of like whenever your toilet’s stopped up (perhaps with all of the shit that you spew out of your mouth); your first thought might be to call a plumber, but actually a painter would know better how to unclog your toilet. The analogy might be lacking, but the main point here is that Diddy’s full of shit.