More Reasons Why Being Deaf Sucks/Rocks – Lil Weezy

Apparently Lil Wayne is the best rapper aliveâ„¢.

I guess I should qualify that statement. According to two guys I work with—a white guy who’s about this close to jumping into a tanning bed on his endless quest to be black and a black guy who probably measures blackness by hours of BET watched—Lil Wayne is the best rapper aliveâ„¢.

I’m still not sold.

I like to think that I gave the guy a shot. I mean, I kind of liked his appearance on OutKast’s “Hollywood Divorce”—he was actually kinda clever. And even his verse on the remix to Swizz Beatz’ “It’s Me Bi+c#es” was rather eyeopening… he can speak French? But he lost a ton of steam on Kanye West’s “Barry Bond”. It was unimpressive, and worse than that, it was boring.

But I’ve decided to try my best to at least sample the Kool-Aid that everyone seems to be drinking. Thus, I’ve commissioned my aforementioned co-workers to compile a best of Lil’ Wayne CD. Each.

Oh, it’s going to be fun. Because clearly, if there’s one thing I need this year it’s two more CDs that I’m obligated to listen to.

Before I go, I should probably share with you a couple of reasons why I hate am troubled by Lil Wayne:

Dreadlocks – Wayne ruined dreadlocks for me. He’s done more damage for the hairstyle than any patchouli-smelling neo-hippie white kid could ever do; he took a hairstyle associated with “conscious” black people and made it thug.

Isabel Sanford – I actually loved Weezie. She was the black female presence that I never had at home. But now whenever I hear that name all I can think of Lil Wayne.

Man, I can’t wait to get these CDs!

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