Come As You Are – DVD Review

Available at Amazon.com

Director

Chuck Rose

Cast

James Russo………Benny
James Marshall………Ryan
Maury Sterling………Craig
Michelle Harrison………Crystal
Bobbi Sue Luther………Amber
Alyss Henderson………Marta

DVD Release Date: August 7, 2007
Rating: Unrated
Running Time: 83 Minutes

The Movie

Some college friends have decided to get together for a bit of a reunion. Craig has so graciously offered his house for everyone to meet at and it looks as if it is going to be a fantastic time. Upon their arrival, they see how successful Craig has become by his huge house, nice furniture, and rich lifestyle. The only problem is that they soon realize Craig and his very attractive fiancé are actually running a porn website from their home because he was on the verge of bankruptcy. From that point on, they can either accept it and stay the rest of the weekend or go home disgusted.

That is literally all that happens in Come As You Are. It’s not that there is no need to explain it any further; it’s that there isn’t anything else to explain. The film is so incredibly bad from the start that it is hard to even continue watching it without wanting to simply fast-forward to the end or turn it off completely.

From the moment it begins, everyone is already on their way to Craig’s house for the reunion so you’re kind of thrown right into the middle of the film. Not that it matters any because there is no plot and resolution whatsoever. Craig didn’t want everyone to know he was a porn-peddler, but during his reunion weekend he’s got people coming in to shoot videos the whole time. The film room is downstairs in what looks to be “soundproofed,” but all they did was put foam eggcrates on the inside and outside of the door. It didn’t work because the moaning can be heard well into the backyard anyway.

Every single person in the film has their own problems that there are close to ten different stories going on in just a little over eighty minutes. There’s the jet-setting playboy who still thinks he’s in college and the woman who loves him. The fat guy who wishes he was still in college and his prude pregnant wife. The beautiful skinny girl who thinks she is ugly and her possessive older husband. The broke rich guy and his stripper wife along with his manic-depressive fat sister. They are all thrown together in a house for the weekend and debating whether they should do a porn video or not while coming to the realizations of what their own lives are really about. Are you kidding me?

Besides the horrible story, the acting is just downright ridiculous. Not a single person knows how to show any type of emotion and when they do, it isn’t the right moment for it. Their looks of sadness appear to be that of anger while their laughter is so incredibly fake, you’d think someone told a crappy knock-knock joke and they were trying to be polite. Craig’s wife Kelli trying to do a seductive dance during a party was also so incredibly absurd that I laughed at a hot woman trying to be sexy. Oh and for those wondering since this film is porn related, nudity is shown for about ten seconds at most.

Last but not least is the worst aspect of Come As You Are and it is the directing. Chuck Rose has this film all over the place and it pushes it past the point of being absurdly funny to being absurdly insulting. Each and every scene in the film ends abruptly and jumps to hours later in the day. A few minutes later you may be watching a scene that happened much earlier in the day. The actors are so over the top with their different personalities that it begins to get quite annoying. It is almost as if Rose had James Marshall’s prick character of Ryan curse as much as possible to make everyone believe that, “Wow, he is really a bad ass.” I’m honestly not quite sure how this film could have even been saved with more nudity because it is just that bad.

The Video

The film is shown in 1.85:1 Anamorphic Widescreen format and looks awful. It supposedly was filmed in 2005, but it looks as if it is from the late seventies. I don’t know if this was the filmmaker’s way of making it seem more old style porn-ish, but it failed miserably and makes it look horrible.

The Audio

The film is heard in Dolby Digital Stereo Sound and isn’t impressive either. Full of cheesy music that sounds like it is being played through an old turn-table home stereo, the cheap budget is exposed again. Dialogue can be heard fine, but not like you want it to be.

Special Features

Trailer

The Inside Pulse

Chuck Rose did a double dip in crap here with some horrible writing and even worse directing. If you dare watch this film then you’ll see why this is only the third film he’s ever worked on and he both wrote and directed all of them. No-one in their right mind would dare trust this man behind the camera with their script and it is obvious why. Come As You Are has not a single moment of entertainment and not one redeeming quality that makes it watchable. The only reason I watched it is because the DVD case describes it as friends coming together and experiencing one embarrassing secret. Seems kinda cool like there is blackmail involved or something. But no, one friend just runs a porn site…oh the horror. Think about it, would one friend’s embarrassing secret really affect the lives of his friends so greatly? I didn’t think so either. The only thing that may affect your relationship with your friends is if you ever watch this film.

The DVD Lounge’s Ratings for Come As You Are
CATEGORY
RATING
(OUT OF 10)
THE MOVIE

0
THE VIDEO

3
THE AUDIO

3
THE EXTRAS

0
REPLAY VALUE

0
OVERALL
0
(NOT AN AVERAGE)

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