We immediately usher in Mr. McMahon as Grand Rapids, Michigan is the host for RAW. He is in the ring saying that he guaranteed a new WWE Champion. He also guaranteed that history would be made. We take a look at what happened last night.
*Randy Orton was crowned the WWE Champion
*Triple H defeated Randy Orton in ten minutes since winning the title.
*Triple H successfully defended Umaga to retain the title.
*Randy Orton went to Hell and back to beat Triple H to win back the championship.
More about No Mercy at the end of this report.
Back in the ring and Vince is back on his guarantees as he guarantees that history will be made tonight. He will invite all WWE superstars to the ring and shake Randy Orton’s hand. He says that the WWE Title will be defended at WWE Cyber Sunday, where the fans take and book the show.
And he is interrupted by a very pissed off Triple H. Once in the ring, Vince asks him to calm down, but I am sure that he isn’t having any of it. Triple H tells him to shut up and he says that the people don’t care about Cyber Sunday. He tells Vince that he will invoke his rematch clause for tonight! Vince tells him to be careful what he wishes for. Vince makes the rematch for tonight despite his own concerns. There is a catch, however. He adds Umaga into the fray as we continue our road trip down the Handicap Alley.
Later tonight, John Cena will grant WWE a live interview.
Commercials.
We are back to the show as our new WWE Women’s Champion, Beth Phoenix, comes out with new music. The following match is a Six Diva Tag Team Match. Teaming up with Beth Phoenix are Melina & Jillian Hall. Their opponents are Candice Michelle, Mickie James, & Maria.
Candice Michelle, Mickie James, & Maria v. Beth Phoenix, Melina, & Jillian Hall
Maria starts off with Melina and takes her down in an arm drag. She tags in Mickie James and she hangs Melina up on the ropes. Beth Phoenix prevents any further injury as she hangs Michelle up in an unique Tree of Woe. Beth in the ring, she takes Mickie down and tags out to Jillian. Jillian works on the injured leg of Mickie James, as does Melina, and back to Jillian. Mickie gets out of the double team and tags in Candice Michelle. She goes house of fire on the other divas. Beth breaks up a pinfall as both Maria and Mickie take her down. Jillian with a springboard elbow BLOCKED to a victory roll and Candice scores the win for her team!
Winners: Candice Michelle, Mickie James, & Maria
Match Rating: *1/2
Later tonight Triple H faces on Randy Orton & Umaga!
Commercials.
Inside Regal’s office as Coach notes the redecorating procedure done by Willie. Coach makes fun of the portraits, sporting a nice cane. Vince shows up and clarifies that William is still looking after the little Bastard. Regal passes the task down to Coach HA! HA! Hornswoggle isn’t napping in the closet and Coach is up to the job to hunt down the little one.
We get a recap of last year’s Cyber Sunday. This is YOUR opportunity to make the decisions.
More Commercials.
Oh yay! Santino Marella is gracing us with his appearance. He’s wrestling tonight?! This shall be interesting. Last week, Val Venis made fun of Santino and got his knee taken out for his troubles.
Santino Marella v. Val Venis
Santino rolls out of the ring before the match could begin. He stalls for time as he interviews Lillian Garcia and makes note that her band is playing tonight. He suddenly remembers that he can’t fight tonight and General Manager Regal allowed him to choose a suitable replacement. Why Hello, Snitsky.
Snitsky v. Val Venis
He attacks the injured knee immediately starting the match. Poor Val Venis as he is on the receiving end of a scoop slam. Val finally fights back or tries to, but he runs into a big boot to the face. He applies the double underhook before taking Val’s head off. Pumphandle slam and that is all she wrote.
Winner: Snitsky
Match Rating: C R A P – Need I say more?
We go to a flashback to Saturday Night’s Main Event as Evander Holyfield is gearing up for his next fight for the WBO Heavyweight Championship.
In a few moments, John Cena will be seen in a live interview.
Commercials.
REV_22:12 video plays.
We are back as John Cena is live via satellite from Tampa, Florida. John confirms that he will be out seven to twelve months. John puts over Triple H’s toughness from last night. John Cena says that Randy Orton is pretty confident, but he will be put to the test. He mentions that he has to shake hands with every superstar.
It looks like we will be treated to our first main event of the night. Your NEW WWE Champion, Randy Orton comes out with the same spinner belt with his name on it! I thought WWE wanted to save a couple bucks and not have their belts personalized. Up next, Orton & Umaga gets to play the Game.
Commercials
Welcome back to the show. The Samoan Savage, Umaga, makes his way to the ring. He could had won the WWE Title last night, but he didn’t. Orton gives a weary eye at Umaga, who could instantly become a target. After a bit of stalling, the King of Kings finally surfaces. The referee restrains Umaga, allowing Triple H to enter. All three men will face off at the same time.
Triple H v. WWE Champion Randy Orton & Umaga
Triple H starts things off a house of fire, taking it to Umaga and Randy Orton. The RKO is countered, sending Orton into Umaga. Orton gets nearly pinned after a DDT, but Umaga takes Triple H to the outside. The double team ensues as Triple H is down. Orton assumes the mount and he busts Triple H open with his fierce punches. Splash by Umaga and Triple H is reeling. More double teaming at the corner as Triple H gets sent into a dropkick. Umaga continues to beat on the injured ribs and he nails a vicious Samoan Drop. Randy holds Triple H’s legs as Umaga goes on top. HHH counters, sending Umaga straight south on the turnbuckle. HHH gets his second wind as he gets Orton in the pedigree, but Umaga stops it. Umaga gets tossed outside as HHH nails the Spinebuster! Another Pedigree try CHAIR SHOT OF DOOM by Umaga. The heels are DQ’ed as they continue to dissect Triple H.
Winner: Triple H via DQ
Match Rating: **1/2 (includes the beatdown soon to follow)
Randy ends the beatdown with a RKO! Randy leaves the ring, but Umaga drags HHH to the turnbuckle. He goes for the “Rear End Collision” (That’s what I will be calling that move from now on.) and he connects! Another one connects as Triple H is knocked back to 1999! Umaga on top SPLASH on Triple H’s ribs! Triple H is having difficulty breathing as Umaga gets Triple H back up and he nails the SAMOAN SPIKE! Umaga finally leaves as the officials tend to Triple H. He is helped from the ring as Triple H defies the help. He stands on his own power for a moment before taking a plunge on the ramp.
Commercials
Back to the action as the referee quartet continues to help Triple H back to the back. We get a rewind of what just happened. There’s no need for me to repeat it as you know what just happened. Backstage, Triple H runs into Vince McMahon. He tells Triple H that this injury won’t stop him from being the first man to shake Randy Orton’s hand.
Ringside, Paul London and Brian Kendrick come out to the ring as Justin Roberts ensues the ring announcing duties, as Lillian will be preparing to sing later tonight.
Paul London & Brian Kendrick v. The Highlanders
Paul London squares off with Rory, quicker than I can type. Thank God for DVR. London and Kendrick double team Rory as Robbie distracts London. Tag to Robbie and he nails a club to the sternum. London is down as Rory is tagged back. Double Headbutt connects as Rory takes control with a reverse chinlock. London fights out of it and he nails an armdrag. Robbie misses London and Kendrick is now in. He nails several dropkicks on Robbie and nearly gets the pin. Rory interferes as he is taken out by London. Kendrick runs into the turnbuckle as Robbie scores the pinfall, feet on the ropes.
Winners: The Highlanders
Match Rating: **
It is all about winning for the Highlanders.
And we get our WWE Diva Search moment. Three have been eliminated and five remain until tonight.
Backstage, Coach is looking for Hornswoggle and he asks a stage hand. He asks Coach what he has been smoking. He runs into Cody Rhodes and he plays the joke back on Coach. William Regal complains that Coach haven’t found him yet.
TONIGHT: Mr. Kennedy takes on Jeff Hardy.
Commercials
Last night at No Mercy, history was made. The WWE Title was on the line three times in one night and was swapped back and forth.
We are back as Lillian Garcia sings her song, “Quiero Vivir†live for the crowd! While I cannot understand the words, the music is another testament for Lillian and her career. She looks hot in the white tonight!
Oh no, Santino is out here and he has a song of his own. He calls her Jillian instead of Lillian. The music is a nice sing-a-long and a rip on the Condemned. That, was an inoffensive use of thirty seconds as long as the reward is a nice, fresh Stone Cold Stunner.
Up next: Jeff Hardy v. Mr. Kennedy.
Commercials
Next Monday: Cody Rhodes takes on Hardcore Holly!
KENNEDY! It is time for our main event as Mr. Kennedy comes out. He gets his microphone. Actions speak louder than words as he will prove that he is the future of sports entertainment. He hesitates a bit with the crowd chanting “You Suck†Chants. Jeff Hardy is out the chute and our match happens now.
Jeff Hardy v. Mr. Kennedy
Both men jockey for position to start the match. Mr. Kennedy gets a side headlock on Hardy, but Hardy counters to a waistlock. Off the ropes, Hardy nails a shoulderblock. Atomic Drop and a leg drop gets a two count. Kennedy on the offense, nailing a northern lights suplex for two! SLAP by Kennedy and he pisses off Hardy! Hardy drives himself and Kennedy out of the ring. Kennedy rolls Hardy back and he eats a baseball slide. Hardy on top and he hits the barrier! He is on the outside as Kennedy tells the referee to count him out. We take a break from the action.
Commercials
We are back as Hardy is still on the offense, hooking a half Boston Crab on Hardy. Hardy kicks out of the submission hold. Dueling Let’s Go Kennedy/Let’s Go Hardy chants as Hardy goes on top. Dropkick by Kennedy sends Hardy off his perch! Hardy is taking a LOT of abuse as Kennedy gets the Boston Crab hooked again. Hardy tries to fight out of it, and he reaches the ropes. Kennedy isolates on the leg as Hardy is in huge trouble. Kennedy goes for Boston Crab again as Hardy uses his good leg to push him away. Chop block by Kennedy gets a two count! Both men up as Hardy nails the Jawbreaker, followed up by clotheslines. Kennedy nails a low shot to halt the momentum. Kennedy with a backslide, but the referee sees the foot on the ropes. Hardy connects with the side Russian Leg Sweep for two! Kennedy is back up and Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate! It’s countered, but Hardy counters to a brainbuster! Hardy up top SWANTON BOMB MISSES! Kennedy covers as Hardy counters the pin with a rollup! He gets the win.
Winner: Jeff Hardy
Match Rating: ***1/2 – Match of the Night
A replay shows that Hardy countered a lax cover for the victory.
Backstage, Vince tells William Regal that he wants everyone, including Hornswoggle out there. Coach almost screws the cover up, but Hornswoggle was napping inside the treasure chest! Vince and William leave as Hornswoggle nails Coach with the cane!
The entire RAW Roster comes out to wish Randy Orton a good and long title reign. All of that NEXT!
Commercials
Vince McMahon is in the ring. He says that the WWE Superstars will show their respect to Randy Orton. He introduces Randy Orton, who comes out to the ring. He steps on the platform inside the ring as he gloats on being the champion. Vince shakes Randy Orton’s hand first and he hands him the microphone. Randy Orton says that nobody deserves to be the WWE Champion other than him. No one has represented the WWE like Randy Orton (he does have a point!). He says that on the stage are a lot of jealous faces. He vows that he will be the WWE Champion for a long time. Randy invites the roster down to the ring and shakes his hand. Vince asks for Triple H and he is nowhere to be found. Vince demands that Triple H comes out here or he will send Randy after him.
He’s a sexyboy IT’S SHAWN MICHAELS!!!!!! HE IS BACK!!!!
Shawn Michaels stares a hole at Randy Orton, who backs up. HBK moves in closer to Randy, who slides in the ring. They get it on and SWEET CHIN MUSIC on the champion! HBK is back and better than ever.
This makes up for a lackluster RAW that the whole show had been.
Show over.
No Mercy Roundtable Recap
I went 4-2 in the No Mercy Roundtable last night at No Mercy. My only bad picks were the WWE Title match and Mysterio/Finlay. I was the odd man out with picking Finlay over Mysterio, but I was looking to the future since it seemed that Mysterio and JBL rekindled their feud. The WWE Title Match that was an acceptable bad pick, since few had the idea that the WWE Title would play hot potato. Overall, the WWE was in a dire situation and they did the best they could with what was put in front of them.
The Inside Pulse
Match Recap
Candice Michelle, Mickie James, & Maria d. Beth Phoenix, Melina, & Jillian Hall (*1/2)
Snitsky d. Val Venis (CRAP)
Triple H d. WWE Champion Randy Orton & Umaga via DQ (**1/2)
The Highlanders d. Paul London & Brian Kendrick (**)
WWE Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy d. Mr. Kennedy (***1/2 – Match of the Night)
